Well, the journey sure does continue. This morning God is still showing me what I’ve not been seeing due to this mountain range called Unbelief being removed. In my Bible reading I read Mark 14. In this chapter Christ is betrayed by Judas with his kiss; he was betrayed by Peter with his denial, and he was betrayed by all the other disciples by their absence when Christ needed them most. Christ had told them they do this, they denied they would and then they did just what Christ told them they would and they said they wouldn’t. In spite of all of this, Christ died for us anyway to once and for all destroy the fatal grip of sin.
This morning as I was reading all of this I couldn’t help but sense just how much we betray or deny Christ in our daily living. Each and every time we avoid the nudging of The Holy Spirit within we deny an opportunity. We make all kinds of excuses why we would not act on a nudge, but no matter what they are, when The Holy Spirit nudges and we don’t act, we betray and deny. Boy, I don’t want to be in this arena any longer.
As I began my journaling this morning I was compelled to write about grieving. Christ grieved in the garden while his disciples slept and the one was arousing the arresting troops. I grew up a grieving child wishing I could live in another family where I would be loved and understood. This morning however, my grieving was done. Today I saw a different side of mom. I saw what I had seen as a child and this time I saw it with belief and meaning. Mom use to go into her bedroom after lunch and close the door. She’d be alone for quite some time. I remember asking her more than once what she did? She just would say she was praying. This morning God helped me to see that today’s victories and freedom from the bondage of sin are a direct result of mom’s praying. Mom did what she knew she could do. Now that my view only seeing unbelief is gone, I see what I now can believe. I see a praying mom whose prayers are being answered.
All this time my fighting to be good enough, to be valuable, to be affirmed was simply waiting for me to awaken to the fact that I was the one who didn’t think I could be loved, valuable, affirmed. God, making me a new creation and I finally believing it, has totally changed what I can see and believe.
I just want to end today’s blog with: “Thank you Father God, thank you Jesus Christ, thank you Holy Spirit, and thank you mom!”