Yesterday afternoon I took time to do most of the assignment we will cover in the recovery class tomorrow night. One piece of the assignment has still not left me alone. Backing up to yesterday morning, after the church service, Kathy and I have started a Sunday School class our pastor’s wife is teaching on Old Testament characters. The reality of the class is more about Who God is and why He brought all of these characters about and how He used them in spite of sin entering into the picture. The hugest piece of learning for me is the part about God’s relationship with them/us. He desires so much to deeply be connected to each of us.
Yesterday, the assignment I was baffled in doing was writing a love letter to myself from God. It was a blank page which ended, “Love, God” I had to fill in the page (letter). Having gone so far on the journey of recovery I’ve found the truth in so many lies I’ve believed all of my life. I’ve also found some parts of the lies I still have harboring pieces I needed to surrender and finally fully forgive. These pieces have tied more to my dad than to any other part. I’ve always known I’m a man but I’ve always known (or thought I did) that dad was ashamed of this body/person who had the body of a man but didn’t know how to do what men are so often capable of doing. This mindset my dad had truly went deep into the person of me. Now that I’ve been living more and more in the new creation mindset, I find myself able to let these old lies fully go.
Writing the letter yesterday also brought about for me the chance to see how deeply God loves and cares for this person he created 68.5 years ago. Have you thought about the fact God created each of us on purpose just like he did Abraham, David, John, Paul and all the other biblical characters of old? The relationship He had with them He deeply desires with us. The truth of this is going deeply within. Even writing about it in this blog is helping clarify the immense importance of His Love for each of us. I’m going to stay in this reflective mindset for a while. I need to. God told me this morning He wants me here as He isn’t done. Relationships which are rich and deep take a lifetime so I’m going to stay here for the rest of my days.