Have you ever heard the phrase that “emotions are neither right nor wrong–they just are”? In the late 80’s and 90’s a great deal of attention was being given to brain research and how it impacts learning. The educational system was needing to do a good deal of reform around what this research was finding. During this time a book entitled Emotional Intelligence was written. In it emotion is described as fuel for the brain. Fuel, when lit, can destroy when it is not contained. On the other hand, it can be contained and used to propel an astronaut into space. It all depends on how we handle the fuel. This is an excellent picture of emotions for me. When emotions are not contained they can look like my dad’s did when he was raging. However, when they are contained and used for purposeful fuel they can inspire one to complete a dream like going to college and becoming a teacher/principal and so much more!
Last week in my counseling session the counselor said that trauma is stored in a person’s body waiting to be reconciled. When we stuff the memories of trauma we are actually stuffing the emotions stirred by the trauma and then the emotions find different outlets often looking like anger, addictions, etc. My class curriculum calls the stuffing of these emotions–DEADNESS. The denial of them is trying to keep the emotions dead.
Since I’ve decided to address the still suppressed emotions in me (trauma) I’ve had nightly dreams which are very troubling. However, once I’m awake and thinking them through I recognize what they are trying to do. They are exposing unresolved trauma. I’m anxious but grateful to be at this juncture in my recovery. I feel as though I’m going to find a freedom (confidence) God has wanted me to obtain with Him I’ve not yet known. Satan is doing his best to keep me paralyzed, but with God’s help I’m telling him, “Not this time.” It is with God’s strength I will overcome.