Last night Kathy and I along with 3 others from our recovery group went to hear a gentleman speak at a neighboring church.  He is a professor at Moody Bible Institute.  His name is Christopher Juan.  He is a young man who has left homosexuality behind having given himself to this for a period of time.  Now, he is telling his story and helping people understand what God through the Bible says about this.  This is exactly what our new group is addressing on Tuesday nights so this is why we wanted to attend.  It was magnificent.  He has two books out, one is his story written in tandem with his mom who never stopped praying over him throughout his struggle.  His second book is addressing the topic of what the Bible says about homosexuality.  Their titles are:  Out of a Far Country & Holy Sexuality and the Gospel. 

This morning I have a counseling appointment.  I can’t begin to explain the healing God is doing right now for me.  The darkness which I’ve continued to hide within is being exposed.  It is not even darkness I haven’t talked about, just that I’ve always been ashamed to say I have gay thoughts and have looked at gay porn.  This sounds so sick but now that I’ve begun to say it out loud it doesn’t have the ownership of me.  Also, addressing the strength and purpose of emotions instead of hiding the fact I am an emotional person.  In my past I always FEARED I’d be like dad was if I ever let my emotions known.  Now I’m seeing the truth of my own emotions and how God is wanting me to be free to use them with HIM in His Kingdom Work. 

I’m going into my appointment this morning with thanksgiving rather than with fear and frustration.  I’m sure there will be important things we will be addressing, but I’m going to be doing this with The Holy Spirit’s Light shining brightly so I can see God’s Handiwork in my life rather than sin’s darkness and bondage for it has been expelled by the Blood of Jesus Christ and replaced within me with The Holy Spirit’s presence.  Amen and Amen!

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