Have you ever wanted God to be faithful to His promises, hoped He would or at least show some interest in what you desire for Him to do in completing one of His promises? This is how I felt yesterday as I went to the counselor. God has been bringing about much greater healing for me recently as I’ve continued the class, Mending the Soul. Now to address this thing about gayness has been big in my mind. It seemed to have a grip which disallowed God’s Light to penetrate.
As I began to show the counselor yesterday what the lesson had shown me or brought out, he asked a few questions which I won’t try to explain. However, by the time an hour was up God had used him to show me some miraculous things. First and foremost, if I were gay I wouldn’t be 68 years old and never initiated a gay act. What was more important to me was that I could let a man love me and it wouldn’t mean anything about having sex with me. The wall I’d kept rigidly in place from childhood could be let go. Satan has used so many defects of my thinking to always have this elephant in my room. Today, right today, I can move that lie aside and continue to be loved by a man and never worry about this. The flipside of this is that I can love a man and not have it include sex either. Boy, have these been huge fears for me especially the one about other men saying they love me. The TRUTH will set us free. That is exactly what God did yesterday for me. His promise is TRUE. My part was to tell–confess. God’s part was to heal and this He continues to do.
I hope this entry today isn’t too graphic for a reader. However, I feel as though I need to tell this much so one can know no matter what is haunting your mind, God wants us to tell someone we can trust so the “haunt” can be given perspective just as the counselor was able to do for me. God’s word in James 5:16 is true: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”