Today I can officially celebrate Spring’s arrival! Thank you God. This is truly my most favorite season. There is nothing like seeing life springing forth from what has seemed dead and that is exactly what takes place each and every spring. My whole body feels its arrival and it brings great joy.
Last night’s recovery class did its work again. The lesson is focusing on “wrestling with God”. It brings out the anger, frustration, confusion, and all the other emotions one feels when life is not going as planned or life surprises you with bitter items totally out of your control. It doesn’t let me stay in denial of any one of these emotions. The outcome isn’t so much that I recognize them finally, the most revealing outcome is how much of my day to day life I still “need to be in control” or so I act like.
In this morning’s journaling, this also follows my continued reading of Hebrews where Christ is called the perfect sacrifice shedding His blood for all the sins of past, present and future; I see the blatant side of self-control. Self-control is identified as one of the fruits of the Spirit. However, when self-control’s outcome brings the focus of the outcome back to us (me) it is done of my own power/strength. God wants my self-control to be used to control my self so when the work is done the outcome focuses the participants/observers onto Him. God is truly helping me see my need to surrender totally–all of these character defects so His Holy Spirit can be the control center of my life. The lesson ends with us writing a letter to God which has a sentence starter reading: “I’m holding onto You for”. I joking wrote, I’m holding onto You for the prize which awaits me at the end of the race. I’m hoping it is a riding rototiller!” In reality though, I want to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Only through total surrender and awakening to its fullest understanding can this be completed. I sure don’t want to stop prematurely.