The hole God opened yesterday morning during my devotional time wasn’t just a small one. As the day went on I began to see more and more the desires I’ve pushed aside all of my life. These desires are simple, yet huge. They are things like saying to someone, “I love you” and hearing back from them that they love me . Along with that, there’s the most important component and that is believing it to be genuine and true. Even if I thought someone did love me I would (in my mind) know they only did because they didn’t really know me.
Yesterday I was driving to a garden store to get seed potatoes to plant. A man from our Celebrate Recovery had called while I was brushing my teeth and but he hung up after 3-4 rings. On my way to the store I called him back. He had called to ask a question and then to tell me–“he loved me”. It was the first time I heard this line and didn’t squelch it immediately in my head. It resonated. Just like right now writing this, I feel loved. Yes, it is tender, but it is also powerfully strong.
As I started to pray this morning I saw at the top of my prayer list what I’ve written there: God is for me; Christ is with me; The Holy Spirit is in me. This time when I saw this and read it I felt LOVED. The amazing piece to this is that I was able to receive the love. The hole that God opened yesterday morning had been deflecting love my entire life. I am humbly amazed!
This isn’t intended to be trite as I write this next piece, but I couldn’t help but notice it as I’ve written today’s entry. When I typed “hole” in the previous paragraph I caught that if you change the “e” in hole to a “y”, you get HOLY. Holiness is the purity of God. This is what is so amazing about being able to accept love–I feel clean. I can’t thank God enough for this! God has made a home in me for His Holy Spirit. WOW!