So today is one for clarifying more about yesterday’s message. Yesterday God was helping me see the difference between carrying a message and carrying a message I think I’m to ensure happens (as I think it should happen). The day yesterday didn’t complete itself at all like I’d had planned in my head. It was a day where I was going to do the “good deeds” needing done and then I’d do the things I wanted to do. Well, other than mowing the lawn in the afternoon, I didn’t get anything done I wanted. Instead, I found myself patiently/impatiently doing for others. At first I reminded myself I was a messenger and not a creator as of yesterday. By the end of the day I was wanting to control it all.
As I was having my devotions this morning I had read more in Numbers and had begun to journal. I was writing the things which seem so out of control in spite of good efforts. As I was writing this I asked God what He wanted me to know as I ask each day. Instantly I looked at the bottom of the journal page where a scripture was written: Galatians 5:22-23–the Fruits of the Spirit. The last one of them is self-control. God nudged me to see control with a “self” in front of it. Immediately I was given the insight I needed. Once again I was reminded that I am a messenger. I am not the creator. God hasn’t asked me to give a message to then control its outcome. He asked me to give a message and let Him and His Holy Spirit be the controller. He asked me to use self-control. This is what He will help me with as His personal gift to me.
I keep telling myself I’m an old man learning such important life lessons. The ego of man sure wants to be in control. God wants me controlling only myself. He wants man to be focused on Him so He can be the One and Only One in control. I’ll keep working on this!