I stand amazed, sometimes I kneel amazed. Today, this morning, I came to God heavy, but God removed the heavy so I could see Him once again as Amazing. I awoke in the middle of the night weighted with circumstances I dearly want to see differently for a couple of special people in my life. The weight of choices were killing my own spirit and I knew it would do the same for them if they didn’t head a different direction than they were. This morning as I brought this heaviness to God and asked what I was to do, He indicated to me that this heaviness wasn’t for me to carry even though I love the ones. If I carry it, they can’t know the consequences as He wants them to know. He wants me to help and helping in this case isn’t telling and doing for them. It is asking and only responding if I am asked to help. As I surrender this I realize the same God who orchestrates the entire universe easily orchestrates our circumstances, but, only if we let Him do so. If I step in and it isn’t helping, it actually interferes with what God would orchestrate. This I certainly don’t want to do.
It seemed when I was growing up I saw a lot of poor choices being made. I decided early in life I didn’t want to do this and suffer the consequences I saw them experience. Some of these poor choices also were the abusive actions which I lived through. All of this seemed to drive me to want to take control of everyone’s poor choices so they didn’t live this way. I can see now how a good idea o in man’s hands only is wrong. God can’t work with an individual if another individual keeps standing in the way. I’ve got to keep myself in the arena of “helping” not controlling. God isn’t done with me and I know He isn’t done with those I love either. Today I surrendered again–my will.