Yesterday I took half of the steps needing to be done demonstrating my belief. I actually knew today would likely be the day when I could take the steps needing to be done in the other situation. As I was starting to journal this morning I found myself almost addressing the start to Father God rather than to Jesus. I knew immediately why I was doing this too. It was no longer about breaking a habit. It was actually about who I felt was more capable of addressing the people in this second situation. Right then I knew I needed to stop addressing the situation and start addressing my belief in Who Jesus is. My actions were showing me that the Jesus I have on the throne of my life is still a human rather than the Son of God. So, so many times I came to Jesus about my own past pleading with Him to do something about the people involved in it. Yet, in my mind, He did nothing leaving me to believe two things: He wasn’t that powerful and that I wasn’t that important to Him.
I have come a long way in my recovery, but today I needed to face this lingering reality that I definitely know is a lie. So, I did. I know and BELIEVE Jesus is the Son of Almighty God and that He has all the POWER of the Almighty. The one thing He uses this power to do is to not dictate the “choices of man”. He uses the choices and their consequences to lead man to Him. The step I’m taking today is to Believe in Jesus and in the plan He has made. I choose to TRUST HIM.