So many years later and yet this date rings true to memories of a dreadful day not so long ago. I’m sure, like you, I will never forget the stunning awakening to just how evil man can be and think he is doing “right” in it. What a sad world we live in. I will never forget and I’m sure you won’t either.
When Jesus is not at the core of our lives and at the core of our nation, Satan’s seeds of flesh’s own selfishness begin to take root. It is easy to see from where I sit, but when we are caught in our own selfishness, it takes a real jolt to help us see it in ourselves. This is what Jesus is helping me see–even this week.
As I am mentally preparing details for the weekend I keep stumbling over “what I want” forgetting that I am not the one in charge. I am the one in direct contact with the speaker and his organization, but there are those at the church who are in charge of their own areas: technology and its use during the two days, the worship equipment, room assignments and arrangements, meals and snacks. I have all the info to the right people, but I have to let go of what they do with it. My selfishness wants to be right there and see that each of these areas are done to the satisfaction I have in my head. But, Jesus reminds me that this is a new day for me. I am learning to trust His leadership with people who also trust Him. He speaks to them just as He does to me. Let Him put this weekend together as He wants it.
Selfishness runs deep in the flesh of man. How much more awake I am to this truth now that I am not denying any longer my own selfishness. I use to compare all of who I thought I was to my dad and my brother. If I were doing better than I thought they were, I was doing good. Now that I have my eyes more firmly onto Christ, I see huge amounts of selfishness in me which I need to daily surrender so my eyes stay focused on Christ. I suppose you the reader may know this too for yourself? Satan wants to have a hay day with this selfish nature of man.