Yes, the journey continued even though I have been unable to write about it here for the past 4 days. Our time at Wallowa Lake, OR was a nice time. It showed me several things which I wasn’t anticipating in any way. I am like my brothers in many ways but I’m also very different also in many ways. The skills of these brothers and interests are what they have in common. These are also how I differ from them. They work with their hands in areas which only frustrate me. The habits of life we have in common. What I noticed and didn’t expect to was that this time I found myself no longer desiring to be like them. I am content being the man I am–who God created me to be. I’d always thought I needed to be more like them and I was less of a man because of these differences, but this is not the case. God made me the way He did with purpose in mind. I can see that and not be ashamed of it. In fact, I can be content and happy with that.
I found this morning that I actually enjoyed journaling first. As I awoke I started my devotions and journaled first thing. I wrote all that was on my mind. In so doing I found myself reading the devotional and the Bible with intent to address what the day was facing rather than to replace anxiety which wasn’t yet defined. I was calling anxiety the energy I had within to face the day’s events but not knowing how God wanted it done. After journaling I could see the wisdom of God’s Word speaking to me regarding what the day held. It was an amazing shift and makes such perfect sense. I’m glad to have finally found this process. Boy, is God patient! I’ve been doing this other way so long and even though He told me this a year ago, I skipped right over it. God is so Good and Amazing!