The reality, truth, I wrote about yesterday needs a good deal more attention on my part. The fact that The Holy Spirit lives in me as a Gift is not to be taken lightly. Within each of us who have accepted Christ into our hearts–lives, is The Holy Spirit. He speaks to us in the quietness of our minds. He nudges us to take steps we often question and resist. Yet, when we do surrender our resistance and obey His nudge or His voice, there is an outcome which usually, if not always, startles us.
God has really been speaking to me through His Holy Spirit of late. This will sound silly, but hear me out. Our Christmas production is coming up in just a month. It is like the last 5 we have done in that there is an immense amount of memorization and some acting. I love watching this in a program, but I “hate” being part of it. I always endure this time of year prepping for it. I feel as though every spotlight is on me and I’m about to blunder big time! In my mind I’d decided this would be my last year to take part even though in the spirit of me I love the message and love being part of its delivery.
After practicing an hour or so yesterday morning on my own and then last night’s choir practice, I sang the songs without props–my book. I even did my solo without help. It’s still a month until the production. This morning as I journaled I asked God to help me know why this fear is so dominant in me? It seems to own me. I was reminded that throughout my childhood when I did a great deal of memorizing I began to sing more and more. It was my gift which dad couldn’t touch with his criticism. What he did do however was create a spirit of fear for doing it “right”. As I wrote all of this out I found myself awakening more and more to the truth that I need to surrender the fear and trust my Gift–The Holy Spirit. This entire program is for His Giver–Jesus Christ. I’m not doing this to prove anything to dad. That’s part of my past–forgiven and gone. This is all part of Jesus, His Holy Spirit and me today. We are going to do this in tremendous freedom to His Honor and Glory! AMEN!