Today is a typical day in many ways. I’m working with a district, going for a teeth cleaning this afternoon, Celebrate Recovery tonight–a routine day. In it though, Kathy is leaving to go to her sister’s place in Joseph, OR until Monday. In these times of absence I always have routine things to do and never really miss the absence when it is only for a few days. Something that is hitting me this time is my need to be prepared for temptation. I’ve always needed to do this, but in times past I’ve done it with an internal sense of panic. I have these fleeting thoughts of “what if” which try to dominate my mind. As I brought all of it to Jesus in my journaling time this morning, He said to relax and enjoy “our” time. I can’t begin to write and tell how comforting this statement was and is.
When I was growing up I always looked forward to my dad’s absence. As a very young child he would be at work during the day. When we moved to the farm right as I was turning 9, this all changed. He was home 24/7. Only when he was doing custom work for a neighbor was he gone. During those times I loved the absence, but I was always filled with dread that I or my brothers and I would do something which would trigger dad’s anger when he got home which led to another beating. This dread of “what if” has always stayed with me in absence. Today, Jesus pointed out that I can let this go. Satan’s temptations can be turned over to Him. Jesus and I can enjoy one another’s time. Seems silly, but this is a real awakening to me. Being a new creation does have so many benefits for which I am awakening little by little. Wow! God is so GOOD!