Yesterday was a surprising day. I went to a new school to complete some technical work which needs to be done for me to work with them. Things the State Dept. of Ed requires. To my surprise the principal had most of it done so all I needed to do was read through it and make some minor adjustments. Because of his diligent work I was able to spend more time getting acquainted with him and his building’s needs. I was also able to leave earlier so I could get to our Celebrate Recovery. Last night was our Christmas blessings night and I wanted to be there early as the set up is quite different for it.
Celebrate Recovery went really well and now I have to confess something I’ve always hated about myself. I came home from last night disappointed that no one thanked me for what was done. I am no longer the ministry leader as I gave this assignment over to another man 1.5 years ago. He led the night and thanked some people for their help and I wasn’t one of them. I still write the blessings we use which people have said is what makes our night so special. As I began my devotions this morning I had this on my mind. In fact, I felt let down. I’ve always stuffed these feelings in the past and disciplined myself for being so childish–saying things to myself which I’d heard my dad say to me and even some of my brothers. As I put this to God in my journaling He seemed to let me know it was good that I was finally letting these emotional feelings surface and not stuffing them. I’ve always been ashamed of these “childish feelings” of needing attention–my dad’s words. I was instantly thinking I won’t write this in the blog for I don’t want others to know. Yet, as I thought it I also instantly knew I needed to write and confess it. God uses these times to grow us into a better image of Himself–the creation He always had in mind for us.
I do feel better just having this out in the open. God is so amazing as He takes through our growing experiences one day at a time. I love Him so!