A good deal of my devotions of late have been hitting upon the temptations of Jesus. I think we are all aware of Satan’s tempting Jesus during the 40 days in the wilderness. However, the writings have been more about the ensuing temptations. These would be the ones about following through with God’s plan for His Son. Jesus was not unaware of His purpose in coming as the human Son of God. It is in all of these tempting moments to compromise God’s plan, to soften it, to delay it, to call upon the hosts of heaven to destroy it–yet He did none of that. He faced God’s plan and completed it as God had intended.
I remember when I was in my first marriage and was told I wasn’t loved and that I was going to be divorced. Within a few weeks I was divorced and even though the divorce was written that I would have my kids half of every week, the day the divorce ended they were moved without my knowing to another state. Ten days later their mom had married another man. I was not only divorced but I was without my kids. I was also totally lost in my closet of fears regarding the abuse of my past. “I knew God was letting me know I was unfit to be a husband and I couldn’t be trusted with kids.” With this, one Saturday morning when I was having my devotions I told God I would always following Him but I could not longer fully commit to all He might want of me. I couldn’t bear the cost. It was too much and I was too weak. I knew somehow all of this loss was part of God’s plan (protection of others from me).
I have addressed this decision I had made back then more than once. However, I had never thought of it as being a sin of backing away from God’s plan until this morning. I confessed it and I know God has forgiven it. These last days of mine I want to be fully committed to all God would want this grandpa to be and do. How I wish I could have opened up 50 years earlier, but I’m not going to let that stand in the way of being open to Him today.