The journey of present truly has me in a wonderment I’ve never known or even considered. In fact, I wouldn’t even let myself go there because it was just too bizarre in my mind. I’m talking about the evil side of man–man’s spirit. Little by little I’m waking up to the truth of what man’s selfish side really looks like. I’ve always been told I was naive to the ways of man, but I thought that was because the one talking didn’t know the truth about me. Good grief, I’d been sexually used for 12.5 years. How could I be naive about the selfishness of man? However, what I’m finally awakening to is that I never wanted to believe that my abuse was sheer selfishness on my brother’s part. Included in this was that my dad’s abuse was sheer selfishness of his part. I always wanted to believe they had my well-being in mind but were somehow oblivious to the effect of abuse on me or anyone else. I couldn’t let myself believe they didn’t care about my well-being. I’ve never wanted to believe that any man could be so selfish that he would intentionally hurt another. Somehow, awakening to the Spirit of God is revealing the ugliness/selfishness of the spirit of man. Light–God’s Kingdom Light–does penetrate the darkness of man.
There is a good deal more I could write here but I strongly believe I am to let the dust settle on this reality a little longer. I am actually overwhelmed with this new truth I’ve keep buried for so long.