The awakening to man’s spirit, my spirit, has been extremely insightful. Little had I realized how much I squelched, barricaded from my mind (thinking) as it related to one’s purpose behind their actions. I would always say that if they only understood they wouldn’t act that way. Little have I realized how much man doesn’t care what others think, they only want what they want. Now that I’ve accepted this reality, my blinders are gone and I see things much more clearly.
The day I thought I would have yesterday got completely turned upside down. Not that it was bad, it actually turned out giving me time to go meet with my prayer warrior about all of this spirit revelation. As I began to share this with her, her smile kept getting bigger. This isn’t her usual nature as she is more serious minded so I often see the wrinkled brow taking in the information she’s hearing. I broke down and wept as I told her my realization that dad didn’t have my best interest at heart and that my brother didn’t either. Their abusive behaviors were purely selfish. As I confessed all of this I could also see my own selfish will looming forth. I wanted so much to be important to dad and to my brother, so much so I’ve spent a lifetime trying to earn value in man’s eyes.
Today in my devotional time I could see my relationship with Jesus, God and The Holy Spirit as simply ours. The relationship connection was directly between us. All of the connections to my past were no longer the direct line to the way I saw my relationship to God and His Kingdom. My relationship to God is set upon the fact He created me to be the man I am. The freedom of this is immense!
When I’d finished telling all of this to my prayer warrior she said, “Wow, you’ve turned a page in your life’s book.” I responded by telling her I had closed the book once and for all which was my false identity Satan had written in my mind for all these years. I can see that book as being closed now and I see a new one with pages waiting to be written by God and me as I obey and surrender to His Spirit’s leading in my life each and every day.