Today’s devotional time seemed to have two pressing messages for me to digest. The first one was about patient endurance. Being patient is a good characteristic and one we all need to nurture within ourselves. However, God sees us on the inside so He knows if our patience man sees is genuine or if it is just an action of man to make man think “I am a patient person”. The patient endurance person knows that God is in charge even when chaos is all around us. Our faith is not in man but in the True God we (I) serve. This is what God is pointing out to me right now.

The second thing God is pointing out to me is very personal. This morning’s devotional readings and scripture reading talk directly about Jesus Christ’s total obedience to God–total surrender to completing God’s purpose for Him. He did this perfectly. In my own journey I know there is no chance of me doing this perfectly. I’ve blundered too many times already! However, God is asking me to let Him have total control of every aspect of my life–my story–my past and now, my present and future. There are things about me I still don’t like to admit so I only talk about them when “I must”–when God is pressing in on me. God is asking me to let go of my desire to stay in control of these things. A good example is “gay thoughts”. I hate confessing this, but God is wanting me to let Him have total control of all within me. I’ve always wanted Him to take any of these things away. He is asking me to let Him use all of these things whenever He wants. My humanness has purpose when He is in control of it.

Patient endurance and total surrender are two characteristics Christ modeled totally for us (me). I’m ready today to tell God to use all of me. Help me to quit hiding and to let Him use all of me when His time is at hand. Only God can do this through His Holy Spirit’s presence within. I don’t want to fight–I want to surrender.