I’ve always prided myself in being punctual and present. I could use this as an item of value. Remembering the things to do in any given day are basically built into the person I am. But, then there was yesterday. As I began my journaling this morning it suddenly hit me that I forgot our on-line choir practice yesterday afternoon. There was absolutely no conflict with it, I just forgot it. This doesn’t often happen, but when it does it is a sure reminder that I am very human and getting old!
I’ve mentioned the 3 R’s of late: Recognize, Reject and Replace. I’ve also written about my recent struggle replacing the sense of unworthiness with what my prayer warrior prayed for me: self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence. The voices which have been in my head condemning me are mostly gone. However, I find myself wondering what self-love actually feels like? When I do something like forgetting yesterday’s practice I want to beat myself up royally. There is no value in forgetfulness. Yet, if this were someone else I’d simply laugh at their humanness. I write this and realize maybe this is what I’m to do with my own humanness?
God is forever reshaping us into His image. I know He is not forgetful so this doesn’t reflect anything about Him. It is a small thing however, so I think I’ll let it go now as one small thing realizing my value is not being questioned.