A big lesson life continues to teach me is perseverance. When I was a child living through days on end of sexual use and the fear of dad’s physical and emotional abuse I would handle perseverance by living somewhere else in my mind. Pretending was a great therapy. God has wanted me to stop living in this world as soon as I was away from home. It was time to face life and the challenges of it.
I use to think persevere meant endurance. I endured the tormenting mind I had and all of its confusion. I hated it and tried my best to endure and push it away. I didn’t know the beauty of surrender and didn’t understand the freedom of confessing to someone I trust. I couldn’t trust anyone I believed. Over time God has taught that persevering isn’t stuffing, ignoring, hiding, but instead; it is facing, confessing and surrendering believing the promises of His Word are true. In so doing, I have found such grace, love and mercy.
Perseverance is a discipline God still works to complete in me. Instead of stuffing and enduring, He wants me to ask Him what I am to learn from the fears I face, the confusion I have? As I do this by facing it, telling it and giving it to God instead of trying to hide it, I find the peace that passeth all understanding and I learn that God is exactly as He says, A True God of Love!