For several weeks now I’ve been burdened with a heaviness in my soul. I couldn’t identify it except if I paused for a moment I felt it. I would quickly dismiss it as a “presence” fighting the class we’ve started on Sunday mornings: Mending the Soul. I was just enduring it thinking it will go away once we get going. During this time I’ve been tempted over and over to go back to the old habits of the past to salve this evil presence. The voices would say the familiar message like, “you deserve a break so gratify yourself”,
Yesterday I was with my grandson for a few hours as we worked in his yard planting a tree and several shrubs. It was a very rewarding time as we talked through some tough topics he’s facing. Later in the afternoon I was called by two different men in our Celebrate Recovery group who had witnessed God doing abundant work in their lives of late and the one had just happened yesterday when the job he wanted was given back to him now that he is sober. The boss had even called and talked at length with me prior to awarding the job.
This morning God has been showing me the importance of my not enduring a spirit of warfare as I’ve been. He wants them recognized and rejected. Then He wants me to replace them with the self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence believing that I am worthy of His Love. I don’t need to carry the burden of warfare. I know this weight so well. I grew up with it almost always being present. Yes, it eventually drove me to sinful replacements which God wants me to know once and for it are buried at the Cross if I will quickly follow the 3-R’s and replace them with the 3-S’s. The fruit of this is my peace, but equally great are the magnificent phone calls of yesterday knowing God is working using our story to help others. Wow! God is SO GOOD!