As I read through the words of “The Refiner’s Fire” again this morning I had to stop where it says, “Each time His purging cleanses deeper, I’m not sure that I’ll survive….” When I was in counseling and therapy I was told by each of the counselors I may never get rid of the deep rooted desires regarding gayness. This was planted so early in my life that I might just have to live with this, I was told. I’ve always hated this about myself and wondered why God wouldn’t remove it? Yet, the words say, “…cleanses deeper” so I pray again that this time it will go deeply enough to cleanse this sinful desire. I know that God has used my message of struggle to give permission for others to voice their struggle. Even when one doesn’t consider it a struggle, they speak to me because this desire is in common. So, if I am to live with this for the remainder of my days, I will try to do so with gladness of heart knowing God is using this to His Glory and Honor.
What God’s Light does reveal for me this morning is that the desire is not sin. Acting on the desire is the sin. The desire also doesn’t make me less than another man nor does it make me like my brother. It does however make me like all other men–human with sinful desires each one of us must face and surrender. In light of all this I asked God to remove it knowing He can. Yet, if He chooses to not, I will still rejoice that I am His child!