Today, this very morning, The Holy Spirit is awakening an understanding about Him and me which I have never seen with such clarity until now. In the 5th chapter of Galatians Paul is writing to clarify the difference between living in the Spirit vs living in the law. I have literally read this hundreds of times and I have no less than 6-8 bibles highlighted, underlined and starred with my notes. Yet, all of this time I’ve read what this has said and turned it into a “law”.
I am naturally a person needing to develop a habit in order to keep order in my life. Getting up early each day in order to start my day with God is a habit, getting to work on time or before time is a habit, the routine of getting prepped for work or simply the day is a habit, prepping for a singing event is a habit, etc. What I’d never awakened to is that a habit can easily be a law rather than a gift from the Spirit. The steps we learn to take in Celebrate Recovery can easily be translated into laws if one is not careful. We can take each and every step and still be as lost as we were before. In my case, I was even more lost after my first year of CR. I was not only still as much in bondage after “completing the steps”, but I felt as though now everyone knows it so I must quit–I’m just a “failure”. I have no freedom–just more bondage.
What The Holy Spirit is teaching me today is the need to awaken in me the part I’ve never known to do–trust– trust my own spirit with Him. I’ve wanted confidence within me, not TRUST with Him–that was too risky. In trying to have this confidence in me, I was relying on the laws of man–prep, prep and prep. Then, I’d ask God to use me well. Today I realize that prep is good, but TRUST is the final piece of obedience I often left out. Living by the Spirit of God rather than the steps of man is something I want to get better at doing. Today will be a good time to start.