Yes, the journey continues, and with it comes the awakening to a self I’ve tried to deny existed. Of late, God has been opening my eyes to His Love and Intimacy. I better see them and accept them for myself like I’ve never been able to do. What has been awakening for me which I didn’t expect is seeing my flesh for what it is.
Being awake to the fact that I’m a new creation is wonderful. The daily significance of this is recognizing God’s Spirit within me and trusting His Spirit’s leading. However, now that I am awakening to this reality, it also places the human perspective of my flesh. With God’s Spirit being alive in me I can’t help but see clearly just how selfish my flesh is. In my past I’ve always aligned my flesh along side of my dad’s or my brother and I’d easily forgive it because it didn’t look anything like theirs. My new creation only sees my flesh/my sin for the ugliness it is. Yes, I still see dad’s and my brother, but they now own their sin and I must own mine. This process of awakening has been coming for many years, but now I am very much awake to it.
The beauty of God’s Love is that even though my flesh is selfish, His Spirit is not flesh. God sees me through His Sacrifice–Jesus Christ. He wants me to see myself this way too. I can seek forgiveness for my sin and move into completing His nudges for the day. I don’t need to linger in my past, God wants me to live in His present/presence. There is so much peace in knowing what surrender of flesh brings. God is Love and I’m learning this more and more as each day comes.