Growing my relationship with God has been the most wonderful opportunity I’ve ever been given. I’ve always known that to have a relationship with God through His Son Jesus was the driver for living. The idea His Holy Spirit was given to me was kind of like icing on the cake. All of this was wonderful to know, little did I know about the actuality of living daily in this relationship. My living in it had been one of discipline. I am pretty good at discipline and I thought God was proud of me for living for Him this way. Well, God has been turning this around of late.

This weekend, starting tonight, I am presiding over a wedding (yes, I have a ministerial license which I haven’t wanted anyone to know about). The rehearsal is tonight and the wedding is tomorrow’s early evening. Tomorrow morning our quartet is doing a concert and Sunday morning we are doing the worship portion of our church service. As I began my journaling this morning I began to think how glad I’ll be to have this weekend behind me. It is always after an event that I appreciate the opportunity to have been part of it. My enjoyment has always been measured by the “quality of the performance”. As soon as I thought this I was checked by The Holy Spirit’s voice. He said this weekend was an opportunity for me to be a tool in HIs service. He asked if I’d consider looking forward to these events right now knowing He was in charge and I get to be His servant carrying a message in word and in song?

Little have I realized how much I lacked in trust and depended on my own skills (which I’ve always been insecure about) when it came to doing anything for God. All of a sudden I’ve begun to realize I can look forward to each event starting with tonight’s wedding rehearsal. I can relax and enjoy it knowing I’m serving, not leading. The Holy Spirit is leading. I’ve readied myself and now I can go into this as an opportunity to carry a message God has given me. Trusting God ahead of time is what He wants me to do as our relationship continues to mature. WOW!