God is wanting me to understand something I am truly struggling with. This is all about approaching God and being with Him in spirit rather than in mind. God’s Gift of The Holy Spirit within us can never have its fullness completed if I continue to come to God in mind and try to process His Word through my mental reasoning. I write all of this very naively. I only know that God is wanting me to let go of my mental reasoning and allow His Spirit to manifest itself in me.
My dad use to yell at me when I was a boy saying he had to break/kill that spirit of mine. I had no idea what he was talking about when he said this and even today I only can surmise what he meant. However, I do know that in my mind I had determined to never allow him to break me. I thought I needed to steel my mental strength so I’d be stronger than him or stronger than my brother’s abuse. Today I realize that mental strength is not what God is wanting me to cherish. He wants me to understand that in spirit I worship Him and find His Strength to believe and trust.
A new creation has a foundation in Spirit waiting to be one’s anchor. I am seeing this more and more. Relying on this seems risky, but I do know not to let my feeling rule. I trust God more than I ever have before in my life. What a great God we get to serve.