I have written a few times about my attitude towards the Psalms. So many people talk about how they love the Psalms. They comfort them, I’ve heard all of my life. Up until recently, I have read these chapters more out of obedience than anything else. Within me, unconfessed to anyone, I would resent the fact that someone would let their emotions get the best of them and write about them as though that was inspiring. I grew up in a home with such an explosive, emotional father that I grew to resent emotions thinking they were sinful. My makeup is different from dad’s, but I still have emotions which I’ve fought to recognize never wanting to look or be like dad.
Today I began reading The Psalms in The Passion. As I read the preface for them yesterday I was looking forward to getting started this morning. Before reading my bible, I started my devotions and was journaling to Jesus telling him how emotionally spent I felt this morning after such an emotional day yesterday with the services for Wanda, my sis’s physical state (even though the pain is much more in control now), and a couple more concerns shared with me. Today is a full day of counseling so I want to be strong for those coming. As I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, He asked me how it is with my soul? I wanted to hide my emotions, but had to admit the truth. It was then He revealed something to me I needed to hear. He said, “If I am unwilling to admit my emotional weakness/need, I am crippling The Holy Spirit’s ability/desire to be my strength.”
A few days ago I wrote that God first reveals and then He teaches. Well, this revelation was exactly what I needed revealed. I’m looking forward to now learning about opening up to Him and others when I need emotional support. Today is one of them.