When I’m with folks and they are complaining about life in general I try to change the focus somehow. I have never enjoyed complaining. Then, these past few days take place where I am starting my mornings with complaining. The complaints aren’t about life in general, it’s about me. I want to be stronger than I am. I don’t want to look like flesh, yet I am. There is only one GREAT I AM and that will never be me, it is God Almighty who called Himself the Great I AM.
There is nothing that brings out my insecurities like this Christmas program does. Putting myself in front of others to perform brings out voices I’ve lived with all of my life. Tonight is the start of the actual performance. I recognize each morning that my earthly self wants to run and tell the director to get someone else! Yet, God is wanting me to learn an important lesson. I’ve always wanted to be a good student, but in this case, the lesson is TOUGH! These insecurities are deep rooted. Just writing this makes me face this truth. I need to surrender this and will do so. I know and believe I am a new creation. I’m also going to PRAISE GOD for the lesson. I don’t want to live in this fear any longer. I can be nervous without this fear. Dad’s voice/messages are lies that Satan wants to torment me with and I give them to my GREAT HEALER–JESUS CHRIST!