I have lived for December 3rd to get here since last July when I was given the script for this Christmas musical. Today completes it. Now that it is here and I’ve lived through all of the practices and the angst of getting prepared, I had to ask God to forgive me for my attitude during most of this time. He has taught me many lessons and this last one is definitely one which I never want to lose.
In the process of living life I have lived with a belief that I am insufficient. (We all are within ourselves, but my belief of me went far beyond this insufficiency). I may do some things well, but that would be because I got lucky. Most of the time I blunder and have to bury it, redo it, etc. I’ve learned to pray for Jesus to not only take the lead, but to literally be in front of me so I am following up His Work. This way I wouldn’t be blundering. Last night as we were preparing to walk to the sanctuary for the program’s start, our director prayed that Jesus would “help” us complete our part to His Honor and Glory. I said in my head that I didn’t want His help, I wanted Him in front so I could simply follow His lead. I wanted far more than just “help”. The program began and all of this got lost in the production, (which did go well).
This morning Jesus wasn’t through with my needing to be awakened. He brought me back to our director’s prayer. He said that He didn’t intend to be in front, His Light (SPIRIT) was there and He wanted me to TRUST His Light. I’ve wanted to see Jesus Himself in front so I could be dependent on something “more secure”. His Light is sufficient when I TRUST. I can know this because that sense of “peace that passeth all understanding” confirms it. I can sense this peace when I take this step of TRUST. Today, in this last production, I’m going to TRUST!