The day has arrived for my brother-in-law’s wife’s service. Yesterday afternoon and evening most of her family was able to come and spend time here. Kids and grandkids were also here. It was a joyful time it seemed for most if not all. Debbie was a cheerfully spirited person so the afternoon and evening was a good representation of her and how she would want this time to be.

Taking part in the celebration of life today will be a simple moment of giving to this family I love. Debbie had wanted her husband Dwight to sing Amazing Grace for her service. When Dwight told her that would be too difficult for him, they agreed I should do it. Most of the service will be family sharing briefly about their mom, grandma, family member and friend. All of this is a very clear reminder that our lives do count even in the moments of days when we have no idea how that could be.

As I was journaling this morning it seemed Jesus was asking me if it is well with my soul? If it isn’t, if there is something standing in the way, it is the right time to take care of it. It seems God is always waiting with the door wide open for us to enter into His presence to rectify anything that is on our mind or heavy on our hearts. There’s no need to wait. Waiting only hinders us. Today, as I enter into its events, I do so with things settled. God is so kind and good. Lets serve Him well today!

I’ve lived a long time wishing I could somehow know the life of a new creation only to find that the missing element was “believing” and the confidence of believing. In the flesh believing is something like hope. It isn’t tangible. However in spirit, belief is a substance as solid as concrete is to us in the flesh.

This all seems very relevant today as I write this. We arrived at my brother-in-law’s place yesterday to assist with the celebration of life service for his wife. It will be tomorrow. It is a tearful, yet joyous time for his wife was one of life’s treasures as I wrote about previously. Being in their home reminds me of this so much–everything is cheery just as she was. This morning as I have been having my devotions God has been reinforcing for me the confidence one can have when we are not relying on ourselves to be a help, but relying on completing His reason for doing what we are doing. If this is so, He has already prepared the work and prepared us for it. I am not alone and I am never alone as I realize all of this as a new creation.

My brother-in-law is more like a brother. He knows me in ways even my own brothers don’t. God has used him to help me with so many recovery steps I’ve taken in the past 15 years. Our being here now with him is a chance to “return the favor” in whatever ways God has in mind. I want to cry with him and then rejoice with him for the lifetime of joy he was given with his wife. They were exceptional at passing that joy around to whomever they were with.

“…Joy comes in the morning” Psalms 30:5. Starting my day with Jesus is a habit I’ve had for quite some time. Before I had the counseling help I would have my devotional time to “find Jesus” for the day. I’d often awaken in the morning with my mind flooded with the problems of the day or potential problems that could occur. I would spend time in God’s Word and pray to release these problems to Jesus so they didn’t own me. I didn’t connect this practice to “JOY”, it was simply a practice of finding strength for the day and some level of assurance that I wasn’t going into it alone.

This focus of late on JOY has been so insightful. Joy is often connected to good news, a proud moment, a peaceful time, etc. More than anything else, I’m learning that Joy is/can be a state of mind or being. The assurance of Christ’s presence and His Holy Spirit within us will provide this assurance that Joy will come in spite of whatever circumstance we may presently be experiencing. Also, Joy is often connected to hope. This isn’t hope that man provides, but hope in Jesus Christ’s promise that “He will never leave us nor forsake us.” Deuteronomy 31:6-8 provides this promise along with many other passages throughout the Bible.

A new creation learns to rely on these promises and know they are for him as well as all others. It is a genuine JOY to believe this and know it is true.

JOY–Tomorrow Kathy and I will leave for western Oregon for the funeral of her younger brother’s wife. During this week I’ve also been working on the funeral for my sis Alice which will take place on Feb. 10. Both of these times are far from joyful, but I’ve been processing in my mind the topic of Joy during this time. The first joyful thing is they are both in heaven and I’m sure they’ve met. Both of these ladies were blessed with the gifts of love and laughter. Both had the unique ability to laugh one minute and then give the most sage advice in the next minute. They were intently interested in the person/s they were with. You loved being with them for this very reason.

I’m beginning to find that JOY will likely never be in the forefront of everything I do. It is the place I want to find no matter what is before me. What Jesus is showing me is that I can shorten the time for which I find JOY by making this my priority. I can apply the wisdom of The Serenity Prayer: accept what I cannot change, change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Learning to apply these steps quickly will allow JOY to surface knowing God is in charge–not me.

“The Joy of the Lord is my Strength”. These are the words of a chorus I use to sing when I was much younger. This topic of Joy is one that Jesus is wanting me to stay with for a while longer. Let me give some background. Recently I was asking the two seasoned counselors how they would address the topic of homosexuality with a client? I also added the topic of pornography because both of these are items which clients are “putting on the table”. I was told to think about sexuality first as the topic to address. God gave all of us sexuality and it is a gift from God to be used for creation and pleasure. He gives us guidelines in His Word regarding it.

This morning as I was journaling and asking Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, He asked if I found JOY in sexuality? As I began to actually personalize this question I found myself realizing I’d never found JOY in my sexuality. It has been a torment all of my life. Yes, I find pleasurable moments, but JOY? This topic has been a root of major torment all of my life. As I admitted this to Jesus, He asked me to seek JOY in my sexuality. Instead of resenting it, try seeing it as the gift it is. He then stated that Satan works overtime to keep sexuality in the flesh and feelings category. Here is where man lives most of the time. I can live with gratitude knowing that the pleasure side of sexuality is mine along with the creation side as I look at my family. There is nothing but JOY here. The strength in JOY is found when I realize this gift of God. Satan tempts us in ways of the flesh, but who wants to diminish this JOY by momentary pleasure that then leads to guilt/shame? This gives me an entirely new meaning to THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH!

Jesus is never done teaching me and helping me deal with my hang-ups (as Celebrate Recovery labels them). I love Him for this and I can use it to counsel ones in bondage!

The past two Sunday sermons have been addressing the JOY of the Lord. I think we all know there is a huge difference between joy and happiness with happiness being a temporary response to something and joy being a state of being. I’ve known this but I haven’t given too much thought to it until yesterday. All too often I will let present circumstances circumvent my state of being–JOY. I don’t take the circumstances to the depth for which JOY is found. I’ll let my emotions have their way with me. I won’t necessarily show them or express them to anyone, but I’ll definitely have them.

In my devotional today, the prayer at the closing reads in part: “…Just as You are three-in-one, I find all the parts of myself completely whole in you….” I have always wished for that to be true. If every part of me were whole I would have JOY. Reading this today led me to yesterday’s sermon and the critical importance of taking JOY to the depth of my belief system. Is my faith that confident? Well, it is for this moment and I’m going to work on keeping it there. I want to remind my emotions that my confidence is not found in them. My confidence is in the Righteous of Jesus Christ and what He has done for me and each one of us!

I was recently given an acrostic for FEAR. It is: F=False, E=Evidence, A=Appearing, R=Real; False evidence appearing real. As I heard this I couldn’t help but realize how relevant this is for so many of us who participate in Celebrate Recovery. Along with this, it is simply relevant for all of us. No wonder God tells us to fear Him. He is the One who takes care of our needs and guides our living if we obey His nudges each and every day.

There are so many verses throughout the Bible telling us to fear God. Psalm 31:19 says, “How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You….” There is no false evidence when we fear God, but living life as long as I have, I have only found my own fears of my past to be bondage for me (false evidence) where fearing God and obeying Him has been the most freeing thing I’ve ever done and will continue to do.

Two weeks ago I was approached by an individual who wanted counseling ASAP. I set the first appointment but before it took place they needed to meet NOW. I arranged the meeting for this person and their spouse. The one felt communication had stopped and they needed help with this area immediately. I gave them an assignment and we met again late yesterday afternoon. I had a marriage assessment which I had them do at the beginning of yesterday’s session. It included questions in several critical areas for a marriage’s success–one being communication.

When both had finished rating each question in all the categories I recorded results only to find that communication was their strongest area. The area of weakness was in the realm of spiritual growth. Communication was scored high because the one had found the spouse’s communication to be trustworthy.

When God is left out of the equation, all the other areas of our lives dwindle in their strength. On the flip side, when God is the critical part of one’s marriage, all of the other areas can more easily be addressed. It was amazing to watch how this couple quickly set new goals for the way they spent time together. WOW, God is so good!

Last night was our Celebrate Recovery. The lesson was MORAL. Fifteen years ago I had one simple definition for this word moral: don’t have sex outside of marriage. I don’t have any idea where that came from, but it was big in my mind. The true definition for moral is more about being honest/earnest. The one big moment for me was the lesson’s attachment to the Serenity Prayer. (It wasn’t spoken by the one teaching the lesson last night, but it became clear in my mind.) It says in the first stanza of the prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference….”

Anyone who comes to CR and stays will eventually need to address all of the hurts, hang-ups and habits in their daily living. One also grows out of the mindset that I’m a victim (if they come with a background of abuse) and understand they must accept their response to the abuse as their responsibility. This is where “the courage to change the things I can” comes into play. I see this often in the counseling sessions and I find it in myself.

God doesn’t want me (or anyone for that matter) getting comfortable with one’s hurts, hang-ups or habits. Making excuses for them makes us a victim of the driver for it, when God wants us to trust Him to give us the courage to change the things I can by His Almighty Power. I’m still learning how patient and thorough our God is if we only give Him the chance. Taking courageous steps into these parts of our lives is huge, but the payoff is truly FREEDOM!

Today’s post is a little late getting done. I needed to take my oldest daughter to the airport this morning so I’m behind my normal routine. She had told me she wanted to talk on the way to the airport. She was only 4 when her mom divorced me and moved to Washington. In spite of her young age, it had an impact on her which is still troubling her to this day. She is seeing a counselor who is giving her some very important guidance in working through her present struggles. I was very touched to hear her talk about all of it. God is always working and I love hearing how amazing He is in bringing insights which lead to healing.

Having Jesus Christ as our personal Savior is such a tremendous GIFT. Serving Him and watching Him and The Holy Spirit bring LIGHT into darkness is another GIFT unto itself. How fortunate we are!