THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: FEB. 22, 2023

Do you have a closet that needs to be cleaned out? I have had one most of my life. The closet was built in my early childhood years from the abuse of my gay brother’s use of me coupled with my dad’s verbal abuse reinforcing the belief that I would be a “good wife” for someone someday. The walls of the closet grew thicker during college years and my adult years when I was approached by a men more than once. There is much I could add to this, but I believe the reader can get my point. Over time, the contents of the closet went from hiding what had happened to me to include the thoughts of myself acting out in gay fashion. Later in my adult years pornography enter the closet. I opened up about this torment writing about it in my autobiography and including it in my testimony for Celebrate Recovery. Counselors told me I would likely have to live with this due to the depth of the roots in my flesh.

Today, in my journaling, I wrote that I’d sure like to have this closet cleansed by the healing Light of Jesus and His Work on the Cross coupled with His Resurrection conquering sin and death. I know these thoughts are not my truth, but they do torment me. As I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, He said, I am ready to start the thorough cleansing. Stay with Me as I do so. You will be delighted.”

I have given this torment to Jesus countless times, yet today, there is a warmth to His Words. I trust Him. His outcomes are always surprising and I rest in His assurance.

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