I was jolted yesterday afternoon with a text message asking me if I were attending the zoom meeting taking place right then and actually starting 20 minutes prior to this? I had completely forgotten it and even had a reminder for it on my phone. I just was lost in what we had been doing with my daughter and her church. I quickly got on line for the meeting and soon thereafter learned that the consulting work may have to go back to virtual. I was not only sickened to hear this, but I quickly found it was true for many of us (a total of 9). I kept telling myself that I need to sit this angst aside and trust God. In the night I awoke several times with different dreams. All of them representing my pent up emotions.

This morning as I began to journal I found myself asking God what He wanted me to know. His instant reminder was that He is not only God, He IS GOD. There is nothing fragile about Him, His Love, His Guidance, His Leadership. He wants me to not only trust Him, but to completely lean on Him. Because nothing He does is fragile, I don’t need to fret as though it is. All of man’s thinking and Satan’s influences may want me to see fragility, but God instead, wants me to look up and see HIM. There is no weakness in this at all. He is not only my GOD, His Son is my Savior and Lord, His Spirit lives within me. What more confidence and strength do I need?

With all of that, the message is the same–we may need to go virtual. I step into this message trusting!

It is amazing to watch over the years how roles shift for which we play. It has been almost 25 years now that we helped move our daughter to Oklahoma City to finish her college degree, marry her husband, start a career and so forth. Over these years they found their church fit and have been devoted to serving God there. However, over the 25 years they have shifted from being the newcomers who were appreciated for making this church their home, to now being the ones ministering to others and helping them find a home in their church. Not only is this true for them, but their own children are integral in doing their part and their kids enjoy it.

We all struggle at times to find our niche in all of life. Church service and doing God’s bidding of our lives is sometimes a struggle. However, it is easier to see God’s overall work when you observe someone else’s life than it is doing this for your own self. It is nice to help others define their purpose and help them recognize that within the drama Satan wants to create in our lives doesn’t stop God’s use of the service we do from His inspiration within us.

Satan always wants to inhibit any good work done for The Master. So, we never want to take our eyes off of Him for it is there we find our daily focus and the Light for moving forward.

This morning I leave early to have donuts with my daughter and grandson before arriving at school! How fun is that! We go from there to the tutorial program their church has going for kids in public schools who are not doing well without help. My daughter, who is children’s pastor, felt led to start this last August when school began since Oklahoma City schools are totally on line for the moment. The first of November they are to begin returning to the classroom. It has been a great ministry at a time like this.

I do enjoy watching how God is working when we come here. It is refreshing to step away from home and awaken yet again to the reality of God’s immensity. I know this, but to experience it is so much richer. How I love this Father of ours!

I so often forget how much problems look alike no matter where one is. When we are isolated at home as we have been for so long with this pandemic, we often think our problems are unique, yet in spending these past two weeks away, I easily see and hear the same problems, the same concerns, the same fears–people are human and humanness carries the same genes no matter where we are.

This morning as I have been having my bible reading I’m hearing Moses give his final directions to the Children of Israel before God takes him on his final tour of the promise land and then home for eternity. This is a new crop of children. All of their parents have died and have been buried somewhere in the desert over the past 40 years. These new children didn’t know the great food of Egypt, the luxury of a home, etc. They knew tents, manna and clothes/shoes which hadn’t worn out. Now they were about to enter a promised land which will become their home. However, will they experience the promise or will they revert back to the sinfulness of their parents and not know the promise?

It is so easy to get lost in the trauma of the day, the surrounding circumstances, the drama of human living. God is always telling us to lift our eyes above the current situation. Yes, we live in it, but we don’t have to find our hope in it. Our hope is only seen and known as we look up to God Almighty and BELIEVE the promises He gives us in His Word. Will we get so lost in the circumstances of today or will we look up and remember the Promises of God? Yes, we live in the circumstances of today, but I don’t need to let these determine the “joy of my heart”. For today I shall look up!

We have been with our kids for a couple of days now and yesterday was a wonderful time to go to church with them. Our son in law taught his Sunday School lesson on zoom for the only thing which is open for them is their worship service. In order to see the kids’ friends which have become our friends too, they had several couples come last night for dinner and fellowship. How fun it was!

As I listen to the dilemma’s they face here, it sounds just like home. It is hard to sort through what each of us should be doing individually and collectively as a body. In times past it seemed the church was the main influence on our greater government’s thinking/decision-making. Today our churches are primarily influenced by what the government is telling us. Sorting through what is the right thing to do and what is the best thing is tough everywhere. God is working in the midst of this. In fact, I keep being reminded that man learns to respond best to God when we are in crisis. Well, I pray we all learn huge lessons about God and responding to Him from what seems to be this present darkness.

What I do know is that God still nudges through His Holy Spirit’s presence within us/me. Sorting through one’s own emotional passion and knowing if we are responding to God or self or if self-passion aligns with God’s purposes is a conundrum. I just know I will move forward as the doors open and will attempt to keep my spiritual ears listening better than my human emotion responds. Such is the journey for today. In the meantime, I am so glad to have this time with our kids!

Sometimes the journey just doesn’t allow time for routines. That is the case yesterday and this am. Actually this morning I slept longer having been up since 3:30 am the day before. We’re in Oklahoma with our daughter Amber’s family. Going to church early with her so I’ll be better the rest of the week when their routine begins again. This vacation is truly a blessed gift.

We’re at the Knoxville airport waiting to fly to Oklahoma City to spend the next week with our family there. God is so good. Yesterday with our friend from our Turkmenistan year was a real blessing. It was as though there had only been a weekend since we’d been together. I’ll be more on track tomorrow. God is always good!

Today will be our last one in Tennessee. Early tomorrow we will fly to Oklahoma for a week with our kids. Yesterday I acted on a nudge which turned out to be a blessing for today. Twenty five years ago Kathy and I were in Turkmenistan starting their first international school. This followed the year we had spent in Yemen. Shortly after arriving we met a young man who was there teaching English at the university. He was from Tennessee and was supported by his church to take the gospel to this country. One couldn’t be in any of these countries as a missionary so his secular assignment was teaching English. We became good friends during this year and we have stayed in touch on a limited basis for these 25 years following.

Yesterday morning I had a nudge to reach out to him to see if he were by chance living close to where we are. Turns out he is only 30 minutes away. He now teaches English as a Second Language (ESL) at the state university here. He has one class this morning and he is then coming to spend the day with us after the class. It will be a fun time to catch up with him. Our relationship grew close because of our becoming accountability partners while we were in this foreign land. The story behind this is one only God put together, but I rejoice each and every time it comes to mind. He even has been involved in a local Celebrate Recovery after his return from Turkmenistan.

Reaching out to him yesterday was an intuition nudge which I had started to ponder rather than respond. However, due to yesterday morning’s devotional time I acted on it rather than delayed. I’m so glad I did and now we get to have this time together. Wow! God is so Amazing!

Today’s devotional time in each of the readings from the devotional books to the bible talked about the results of impulsivity. Not only did they talk about it, they labeled it as sin. Oswald Chambers said that impulsivity is a part of our human nature and we want to respond to it due to our humanness. Christ had learned to discipline any impulsivity so that he responded only to God’s leading. Chambers said that in our christian walk we are to learn to replace impulsiveness with intuition. Intuition is the voice of God’s Holy Spirit within us while impulsiveness is the voice of our human nature.

I’ve never taken a step back and looked at addictive behaviors as an impulsive response to living. Yet, as I do look at this I can see it plainly. Whatever the motivation is to satisfy an addiction, it comes from an impulsive thought–“oh it’s ok this time”, “oh, this one is fine”, “no one will care”, and the list could go on and on. It is truly a selfish response to living life.

When we are nudged by God’s Spirit to do something it can seem as though it is an impulsive step. However, the difference is that there are no red flags from our spirit in acting on it. We likely have the “what if” thoughts but they aren’t followed by secrets. Any impulsive action we take will usually be followed by knowing I won’t/can’t tell.

I am going to spend some time on this topic. I know God is wanting to grow me in this arena of living each day. One area I do know He wants me to grow is trusting intuition as His Spirit’s Voice. When I am given a nudge I want to ponder it. This is true with impulsive thoughts and it is true for intuition with me. God is wanting me to learn to separate them so I’m going to step into this as my lesson to grow.

I love being here for this week. It truly is beautiful country. Learning the history of this area is one of the best parts of coming. I love nature. However, learning about what brought man to this part of our country and seeing what they did with it is an unexpected bonus. I came for the nature, but I love finding out about the human part too.

Yesterday we took a bus tour (a mini bus) with about 15 others. The driver was born and raised here. He is a tour driver and guide, a school bus driver for the local school district, and a pastor for his church. He also paints scenery of the old Tennessee and sang and played a couple of hymns for us as we went into one of the little old settlement churches. I doubt that he is even 40 years old yet. God is using him.

Another unexpected feature of coming here is finding out how many Americans are troubled by our current state. Our country is longing to return to its biblical roots. To return to the morality which is outlined so well by God’s Word is the desire of millions. I keep having the message of the book I’m reading and have mentioned several times: I Give You Authority, come to mind. The evil which has entered into the lives of so many in our country is wanting to overtake our country and every Christian element for which we once were united. Satan has a way of doing this in such devious ways! God is telling me to use my authority given by Him through Jesus Christ to face this spiritual battle with authority. He will be our Power but it is up to us to use our authority and cast these demons out when we pray. Join me if God is nudging you in this same direction.