Yesterday really was a pleasant day. After church and leading the step study we went to the home of a lady who is slipping slowly away from this earthly dwelling. Her daughter and son in law are close friends. They were to all come to our place but she is no longer able to walk so we took the meal and treats to her. The afternoon and evening were spent enjoying the time together. It makes my heart hurt while at the same time I wouldn’t want it any other way. God is amazing.

Today I am challenged to be obedient. There are many pathways man has created for man to walk. However, God has provided the high road–the road where He alone is the Light. This is the road I want to be on and stay on. God is the Light of the world when we walk with Him alone. This is my focus for today.

I’m sure all of us have been hit in the gut and had the wind knocked out of us. Maybe ladies don’t know this, but we have all had news hit us which does the same–takes our breath away. I had this happen a couple times in one day–yesterday. The one was simply listening to what one of the guys in our Celebrate Recovery group is going through, and the other hit closer to home. In both cases, I heard the news and for a moment, felt helpless. I wasn’t sure what I was to do in either case.

This morning as I’ve had my devotional time I’ve been reminded that it is in our weakness that God is made strong. Each and every time we try to take matters into our own hands and “fix” things, it looks like man has been working (and that usually is not a compliment). When we let go of the control switch and let God have control, the outcome looks like God working. This is what I sense God saying to me, “Do what I have given you to do and let Me do what I don’t want you doing.” The beauty of this is that God makes it clear what my steps are to be. My responsibility is to not do anymore than that.

I finished reading in I Kings about Elijah and King Ahab. When Ahab’s wife Jezebel found out about the slaying of the false god prophets, she had Elijah informed she would have the same done to him within the next day. Elijah fled as he heard this news. God didn’t tell him to flee, this was his response after all he’d done in response to God’s leading. In his fleeing, God fed him, had him rest and then gave him his next assignment. For a moment Elijah responded to fear. God, on the other hand, stayed calm and simply gave him what he needed, food and rest.

God does the same for us today. When fear hits us in the gut we have a choice to make. I want to learn from this to rest, take in good nourishment and let God lead.

Today I need to continue yesterday’s message. That message wasn’t complete unto itself. It was only a start of a new way to look at problems which come into our lives. God is wanting me to learn an entirely new approach to issues I face in life.

I’m in to I Kings with my bible reading. In it Elijah has told King Ahab about the drought which will hit the country. God then sends Elijah to a couple places where he is cared for during this time of drought. After 3 years God sends him back to Israel to end the time. In so doing, he sacrifices to God and then he kills the 400 prophets of Baal after God consumes Elijah’s sacrifice and the sacrifice to Baal is still present. Elijah tells the people to ready themselves for a big rainstorm. As he goes to Mt. Carmel and worships God, he tells his servant to look toward the sea to spot the forthcoming rain. Seven times he does this before a tiny cloud formation is starting. It is then he knows to prepare himself for the rain as he’d already told the Israelites to do.

I appreciated very much what Joyce Meyers had to say about this. She writes that instead of Elijah doubting as he waited on Mt. Carmel, he continued to worship and tell his servant to look again. What God had led him to do in confronting Ahab and the prophets of Baal wasn’t a mistake or a misunderstanding of God’s Voice to him. He trusted God’s Voice. When times hit us and we doubt, we need to be reminded of this message. God wants us to trust. Satan wants us to doubt and he will do all he can to feed this deception within us.

After the sad news I wrote about yesterday, I can come to God and trust that even though the kids aren’t coming and I can no longer go into the schools, God still has a purpose and a plan for this Christmas season and for our schools. Instead of sadness I will trust Him to open my eyes to know what this time holds as each day comes. Join me in trusting!

Have you ever felt sadness that seemed overwhelming? It takes your breathe away to the point you don’t know if you can breathe the next breath. As a kid growing up I knew this sadness. When I was on the farm I’d run up the hill and off to the fields there so no one would hear me sob and scream not knowing what to do with all it meant. As I was in my teen years I learned to replace this sadness/helplessness with a strong determination that wouldn’t let the behaviors of my dad or brother penetrate it. I was stronger than their behaviors were.

As God has been working to let me know how to allow Him to be my strength rather than my own determination, I’ve had to recognize just how weak I am in my humanness. Yesterday I had a moment of this. My Oklahoma kids are not going to be able to come for Christmas. Also yesterday I was informed that I can no longer go to my schools until their counties are not in the red. These two messages hit at the heart of me–family and students/education. This morning as I was journaling to Jesus I couldn’t help but recall the feelings of my childhood being the only other time I’ve felt this level of sadness hitting me. The sadness seems to be wrapped into a helplessness which I can do nothing about.

As I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, He prodded me to look at Him rather than at me. II Corinthians 12:10 says, “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” When the sadness of yesterday hit me I wanted to immediately put up the shield I knew from childhood, but I found I couldn’t and shouldn’t. The news I’d received wasn’t abuse, it was a sad reality of today. It was then I could give it to Jesus asking Him to help me surrender me so I could be strong in His Love and Grace during this time.

Growing in Christ is not always an easy thing. In fact, it is quite difficult at times. Yet, the outcome of the commitment results in another lesson learned: When I am weak, then I can be strong.

The site seems to be down this morning so I’m attempting to use the app to write today’s entry. Yesterday I wrote about using the team God provides for us. I’m always surprised when I do write these to find myself being challenged to make it true for me. Even at my age I still want to reach the age where temptations cease. Today I want to tell myself—“good luck with that!”

Reaching out for help is always the right thing to do. God embraces us when we obey His scriptures direction. Tonight I teach the lesson on Sponsor for our Celebrate Recovery group. This characteristic is one to watch for in a good sponsor.

I love and appreciate that God never gives up on us. Thank you Jesus!

The journey does continue, and with it are God’s challenges to me. God has been so gracious in the past six months to free me from the old belief system that I am unworthy of God’s Love. Included in this was the belief that I could never be good enough for the Holy Spirit to find residence in me. Learning the 3-R’s: Recognize, Rebuke and Replace have been the tool for this learning. Once I recognized the lies of my old beliefs I could then replace them with the 3-S’s: Self-love, Self-appreciation and Self-confidence. During all of this time I have also learned that such focus on “self” is not arrogant as my dad would say. It is actually the 3rd S–self-confidence. When I was finally able to replace unworthiness with self-confidence (by believing this), I found my pride wanted to make self capitalized–SELF. I saw within me the desire to be strong in ME alone. God teaches that to be strong it takes a team: God, ourselves and someone we trust. Self is 1/3 of the team. So in order to love myself and appreciate all God wants for me I need to recognize the rest of the team and use them “…one day at a time, one moment at a time accepting hardship as a pathway to peace”. Our own pride coupled with Satan’s continuous tempting lies, will quickly create an arrogant, self-confident, stubborn human who will look just like this–arrogant.

I write all of this today because I can now see how quickly one can take these gifts God has offered us and turn them into flesh rather than gifts. To appreciate self, one has to recognize that self alone in the flesh can quickly be prideful, arrogant, stubborn for all the wrong reasons. God is asking us to use the team He provides to keep us balanced and spiritually stable. It has taken me a long time to shift from the fears of being like my brother and dad and using them as my spiritual barometer, to letting Jesus Christ become my barometer and looking only to Him with the daily help of my team.

Two weeks and three days ago my sis just older than me had a serious stroke. For four days she was on a ventilator and in an induced coma. All of us wondered if she was going to stay with us here on earth. On that 4th day I placed her on our church’s prayer chain and within 3 hours she was off the ventilator and awakening. Now, 17 days after the stroke, she is going back home. Her older son will be staying with her 24/7 continuing the therapies which he was taught by the therapy unit where she has been for the past week. It is such a miracle! All of us praise God for His abundant Grace and healing.

Last night our quartet sang for a gentleman who is dying. He has been battling a blood cancer and has now developed pneumonia. (This was in his home by the way. We would never be allowed to do this in a hospital due to current situations). What an inspiring moment in time to see him and his wife lifted in spirit with the message of ministering songs. When we sang, “How Great Thou Art”, his face simply glowed. When this ended they said this was their Christmas gift. I’m always amazed when we go to give a gift of music to someone/s to only find the greater gift is ours. The tears would well up inside of me as we’d sing and I’d try to keep my eyes on him. I find it amazing how the gift of giving completes itself in every direction when it comes from God’s heart to yours/ours. To serve our God is such an honor!

Today I return to the schools for which I am assigned. This will be their last week before Christmas break and each of them are able to meet in person rather than on-line. I’m glad for that.

As I began to journal and asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, I was urged to close my eyes. I did this but truly saw nothing but darkness until I opened them while still standing. It was then that I saw my reflection in the window. My arms upstretched towards heaven. I sensed God’s Spirit saying that this is the pose He wanted from me throughout today and each day–keeping myself focused on Him all through the day.

As I began my devotional reading, its focus was on clouds in our lives. The author said the clouds represent troubles, problems, others close to us in distress. He went onto say that if in our clouds we only see the people struggling, we will be in distress too. However, in the clouds of our lives, God wants us to see HIM. If He is truly our Savior and Lord, if He truly is Almighty, if He is truly our God of Mercy and Grace, and if we truly believe this, then in our clouds we should not stop looking until we only see God. It is then we can Trust that no matter what the clouds are representing to us, we see only God in them.

I needed this message this morning. I am going into this day with my hands and arms lifted toward heaven–to my God Almighty! It is He I see in the clouds!

Today is the Lord’s Day. As I was journaling this morning and asking for God’s leading in some activities taking place for which I am leading, He reminded me that He leads best when I am surrendered. My word, I instantly shifted from asking to surrendering. The activities I’m leading are ones which I have a good deal of background, so of course, I feel confident in doing them. I just wanted God to lead. However, as soon as He pointed out my need to surrender I realized how many times I have lead and had the activity only partially complete itself. I’m so glad for God’s Spirit speaking His Truths. Surrender is always what I want to do and so often neglect. Today, I am surrendered.

The Serenity Prayer tells us “…one day at a time, one moment at a time….” This guidance we apply to hardships all the time. Today I am reminded that it applies to all days and all things. Surrendering to Jesus each and every day and each moment of the day allows Christ to be Lord as well as our Savior. I thank God for this powerful reminder.

The message of yesterday’s post continues into today. As I begin to examine my heart I can see clearly the selfishness in it. Replacing the selfishness is no easy task. As I began my devotions today I read in one of them that change of heart comes from obedience to God’s Word. Our heart desires “human things”. God’s heart desires spiritual things and He wants us to have the desires of His Heart. But, in order to desire God’s Heart, we must confess our own heart desires as they conflict with His and let His Holy Spirit be what replaces our selfish spirit. God’s Word says in Roman 10:9, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” This is step one.

The second step seems to be what James 5:16 tells us: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” The obedience of this verse is the more difficult one I find for me. Who ever wants to confess their sin/s to someone else? But, in order to be healed, this is God’s directive. I know this for me and I’ve seen this so many times for others. And, it’s not a one time thing. When we are tempted to sin it is best to tell so one can break the temptation. Satan’s deceptive ways and our own human selfishness want to play this down. However, there is never any freedom in following our flesh. But, there is always tremendous freedom in obeying God’s Word. This is today’s focus.