Yesterday was one of those unusually gratifying days. Church service was excellent and then I had arranged to take one of my grandson’s shopping. There were a couple of gift items he wanted to get and he was going to help me complete what I needed to find for the other grandsons. I had prayed yesterday morning that the time would be extra meaningful with this grandson. He is a senior this year and will be graduating so I know our times like this are few. As it turned out, not only did we find what we needed, there were a couple of times when Christ was the forefront of the conversation in such a meaningful way, he and I both got teary. I love how God works!

Today’s devotional was speaking about something that troubled me almost all of my life. It was saying that the blood of Jesus cleansed us from all our sin. It references this cleansing to a spiritual bath where the stains of sin are all washed away. Isaiah 1:18 says: “though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be made as white as snow.”

This coming Thursday I will be teaching the lesson “Sponsor” for our Celebrate Recovery group. This lesson has been rearranged by the author so that it now follows the Action lesson. The most important action we take is that of asking Jesus into our hearts so that “our sins are washed away”. This is especially important to me because I lived my life never knowing (believing) that the sins done to me from sexual abuse were “washed away”. They weren’t washed away–they were there haunting me every single day and often throughout the day. The older I got the more haunting these memories were. Nothing was washed away–I thought. I look back at these years and now know why having a sponsor in my life would have been so helpful.

My brother’s sins were not mine, yet I didn’t know how to be cleansed of the thoughts/memories. Because I didn’t talk about it with anyone, I never had help understanding this until I went to counseling/therapy. That helped, but it wasn’t until my prayer warrior prayed the 3-R’s over me: Recognize, Reject and Replace, that I was able to then replace these lies with what I call the 3-S’s: Self-love, Self-appreciation and Self-Confidence. A prayer warrior is part of what a good sponsor is for each one. I appreciated having this clarity given this morning as I prepare for Thursday’s lesson. God is so GOOD!

I was a little concerned how this weekend was going to work itself out. There were several tasks needing to be done and all at the same time or same day–I thought. Well, as only God would arrange, it has come together in such a way that nothing is piled on top of the other. I did nothing to make this happen except to watch it unfold. I wrote in my journal this morning thanking God for being so concerned with details. These are all good deeds and God obviously thought so too. Praise His Name!

First and second Thessalonians are small but powerful books filled with different wisdom than I’ve ever remembered. Paul is driving home the message of maturing in our walk with God. He seems to be focusing on the teaching that we are to grow beyond doing what we do out of feelings. The driver of what we do for God has to be done from decisions made with God. If we allow our feelings to be the motivation to persevere we will likely give up way early rather than stay the course knowing God will complete His Work in spite of our ups and downs. I appreciated what Joyce Meyer wrote in regards to II Thessalonians 3:13–“And as for you brethren, do not become weary or lose heart in doing right.” She adds, “One sign of spiritual maturity is the ability to live beyond our feelings. People who are spiritually mature live by decisions made based on God’s Word, not on how they feel.”

I love reading what Paul is teaching. Here he is, the Pharisee who was imprisoning the new Christians to now teaching them how to become more mature in their walk with God. God’s mighty work in Paul’s life is the same work He is wanting to do in mine and ours. I want to always be a good student.

As I began journaling this morning I couldn’t keep from reflecting on the Light God is shedding on the topic of servant. The reality that I don’t take God with me, He is already present and I join Him, is a real switch in thinking I don’t want to lose sight of. This morning I was more focused on the topic of being God’s servant when I’m not out working with schools or at church working with ministries. If I’m home what is it like to be a servant here? As I asked the question when journaling the word selfishness immediately came to mind.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve said that when I have a day at home it is my time to be selfish doing only what I want to get done or simply just enjoy the time reading a book, watching a favorite program, etc. What God was bringing to mind was when selfish is sinful. It is one thing to focus on self when self needs time to relax and reflect, take it easy. It is another thing to give in to selfish desires which I already know this would be sinful and unhealthy. Each one of us knows what these are for ourselves and this is what God was pointing out to me.

God is nothing but LIGHT shed into darkness. I am seeing some darkness in my life I’ve needed to see. I thank God for helping me to not only see this but to offer His Strength in stepping away from selfishness that leads to sin.

As I began to journal this morning I was thanking God for His insights and work which took place yesterday with one of the schools where I consult. Through the fall we have been chipping away at some needs which must be addressed if they were ever going to thrive and yesterday we needed to face one of those needs. I was anticipating tears and frustration/anger. However, I unexpectedly received agreement and cooperation from all of the team. I walked away from the day thanking God for His help.

This morning God turned a Light on for me I needed to see. This Light is the Truth that God (His Holy Spirit) is not helping me, I’m helping Him. In one of my requests as I prayed, I asked God for His insights into what I wasn’t seeing? I was expecting Him to show me something about man I didn’t see, however, instantly what came into my thoughts was this message, “What you are not seeing is that I Am already there. I want you to help Me complete the work I gave you to do. You are not bringing Me to them, I am bring you to them.” I then wrote in my journal, “You are not my servant, I am Yours!”

Today I go to another school where we need to face some difficulties far different than yesterday’s, but nonetheless difficult for man. What is different is that I go today to assist my Master–now that I have this straight in my mind. He is already there. How I praise God for His LIGHT of TRUTH which He is abundant to provide once I look up and see Him!

One of the beauties of Christianity is acquiring an intimate relationship with God, His Son Jesus and The Holy Spirit. Little did I know through most of my life how desperate I was to have this relationship. I deeply yearned for it, but I could never be good enough.

As I reflect on the messages of the men in our Mending the Soul class, I hear them desiring this same relationship. Having the confidence that God not only loves them now, but that throughout their lives when abuse was so prevalent, He loved them then too. This truth is one which most, if not all, abuse victims struggle. As I went through my years of counsel/therapy I would think, “OK, now that I understand this the relationship will be there.” Then, within hours that fragile confidence would fade into the old belief. It took many years following the therapy for God to anchor in me the truth of His Love and the strength and depth of our relationship.

I find myself enjoying relationships now and even seeking them. The alone time I have always enjoyed in life (thinking before this was the time I was safe) is now appreciated because I love to reflect on life and being alone allows for deep reflection and to find God’s perspective on things for which I’ve needed clarity.

I pray for these men to not go back into the denial where they lived prior to class. I trust God to keep His Light of Truth before them and as only He with His Holy Spirit will do, continue to awaken the Truth of His Love for each of them. God is truly our Loving Father.

The devotional message of yesterday continues into today. It centers around the theme of Jesus’ Truth. Jesus tells us to be careful with our tongue for it can bless as well as curse. The curse can often look like sharing a difficult story with someone else when we haven’t confronted it with the person we have the difficulty with. My devotional says we hurt three people when we do this: ourselves, the listener and the one being spoken about. Jesus never uses gossip. But, He does use our obedience. In Titus 3:2 we are told “to slander no one”.

A couple of years ago I had someone who slandered me and was doing so to some others. I did talk with this person but seemingly to no avail. I went to my prayer warrior to get good advice from her. In so doing I slandered this person to her. Instantly she reprimanded me for “putting a curse upon this person”. She told me I needed to ask God to forgive me for doing so. I was obedient and did do this, but the depth of this meaning didn’t hit home like it does today. It is so much like the scripture about the speck in one’s eye when we have a log in our own.

Confronting a problem is always difficult and particularly when it is a problem that has “hurt our pride”. Jesus tells us to confront it in love knowing we have also had our own sins which needed to be forgiven. To only talk about it with others rather than confront it with the one only spreads the poison allowing Satan to rejoice for he is the master of breaking relationships or keeping them from developing. I sure don’t want to give Him any fuel.

This morning’s devotional time was revealing a lesson for me which I never want to forget, but instead, grow in it. It all started with my journaling about some family items where I pray Jesus will do some deep level teaching. As I was reading my devotional its message centered around Jesus being Truth. If we live by truth we will live the life Jesus teaches us to live. Then, as I began to read the concluding two chapters of Colossians it all began to come together.

In Colossians 3 & 4 Paul is telling the followers of Jesus about peace. It is the genuine indicator of doing the will of Jesus. He tells something in these chapters which had never hit home to me like it has in today’s reading. He talks about our inner organs. If one of them is removed we pay big consequence and even physical death from the removal of most of them. When Jesus comes to live with us He lives within us. He is the organ of our spiritual life and we know we are pleasing Him with our living because we have peace within. When our inner organs are working well, we have no physical indications at all–our physical body is at peace. However, when something is wrong we have obvious indicators of pain. The lack of peace within is our key indicator that something is amiss with our spiritual living and its miss alignment with the Truth of Jesus.

Colossians 3: 5-9 lists several sinful behaviors which rob peace and we are told to kill these evil desires. Starting with vs 12 Paul writes about how to live in the Truth of Jesus. So, all of this is not necessarily new info, but the truth about Peace being our indicator of living in Truth is my anchor for today.

Yesterday’s absence of a post was due to taking 4 grandson’s black Friday shopping leaving our home at 4:30 am. We had quite the day! By 10:30 am we were back home and everyone’s presents had been purchased and the boys were beaming and looking forward to going back to bed! Grandma had the girls. They left a few minutes ahead of us and didn’t return until 6:45 pm last night. I knew I was very glad to shop with only boys.

God is really driving a message home for me this morning. It started as I was journaling to Him thanking Him for Jesus being my Savior, and then Lord and then being my best Friend. I wrote that being Christ’s friend has been such a challenge mainly due to unworthiness. I then began the book of Colossians where Joyce Meyer writes that this small book is all about helping people understand the depth of love Christ has for us. She writes, “The glory of God is His manifested excellence…. Satan furiously fights the plan of God in each of our lives, and his primary weapon is deception. when we are deceived, we believe something that is not true. Even though it is not true, it seems true to us because that is what we believe…. We limit ourselves when we look to ourselves alone and fail to see Jesus.”

I don’t know about you, but I struggle immensely to look at myself and see Jesus. Yet, this challenge to do so is important. Of course I am not worthy of Jesus, none of us are; but, Jesus death and resurrection has created a worthiness for you and me that we can believe because it is TRUE! If I fail to see this and believe it I continue to fall into Satan’s deception. Today I rejoice in Jesus my Savior, my Lord and my Best Friend!