This morning I’m taking a grandson to look at a car to assist him and his family. As I began my journaling I told Jesus I needed Him today to give clear guidance on the choice. I am not very mechanical and I sure don’t want to influence a decision that turns out poor. As I wrote this I immediately felt nudged to remember that it is not only when I’m entering a situation like this that I need Jesus to be in charge. I’ve learned over the years that when I’m entering into a situation where I am fairly well skilled, I even need Jesus more. I tend to rely on my own understanding and lead others there too. Jesus has taught me many times that He needs to be ultimately in charge of all and He wants to be. My bigger responsibility is to model for others how to rely on Jesus, not to rely on me.

The legacy we leave behind when Christ takes us home is what others will remember best. I pray that mine will be that of showing how to lean and rely on Christ’s leadership in life.

Today has a different start than I’d planned. The school district staff is having a professional development day which was to begin at noon. However, their girl’s basketball team made state playoffs and they have a game this afternoon at 3:00 pm so they rearranged their training to be from 8:00-noon. So, instead of getting to sleep a little longer this morning, it’s a 4:45 am again. The district is 1.5 hours away so I need some driving time. I don’t care what some say–sports do rule! Those who know me also know I’m not a sports fan. However, I do respect their importance for kids so this adjustment is well worth any effort.

It’s a brief message but my mind is yelling, get yourself ready! So away I go.

The post I wrote yesterday turned out to be just what took place. When I met with the principal and the other consultant about our previous day and told them what I felt about the direction we had discussed, they both agreed immediately that we needed to–stay the course of the original plan. In fact, the other consultant said, “That is such good wisdom!” I thought, “Well yes, it came straight from God.”

God is shedding some Light of late about following His Leadership in every aspect of living each day. As I began my devotions today and these past few days, my reflections show me how even difficult conversations (in my mind as I prepare for them) turn into ones which people thank me for them and we walk away with a handshake and preparations for the next time we get together. So much of this is following the nudges of God’s Spirit within.

My one devotional this morning which came from the work of Oswald Chambers, was entitled: Taking the Initiative Against Daydreaming. In it it says, “Daydreaming about something in order to do it properly is right, but daydreaming about it when we should be doing it is wrong.” I think this is the exact message God is wanting me to learn about obedience to His nudges. Pondering whether the nudge is the right thing to do is equivalent to daydreaming about it when we should be doing it–this is WRONG. God never gives us insights so we can make mistakes. Trusting God is truly at the heart of my recent learning.

Yesterday morning when I wrote in my journal asking God what He wanted me to know for today, He indicated I was to be sure and listen to Him before I responded to the day. I knew what work I was to do in the day but I simply kept His message within me not sure how it was to be applied. As it turned out, the principal had several questions for us. There are two of us working with this particular high school and the director of the consulting work had also come for the morning. I suddenly found myself in the depths of a conversation that was going to need a few years to complete. Our present assignment for this school is a 6 month one. I was repeatedly asked what my thoughts were during the meeting but I found myself overly silent. It wasn’t that I didn’t agree with what the conversation was, but it didn’t fit our present situation.

This morning right before I got out of bed I was reminded that the principal and I had already agreed what my work should look like for these 6 months. I still know deep within that this is the right work for the present. As it turned out, my day today takes me back to this district and in the afternoon to this same site. I know now we will move forward doing what God intends to have done. The discussion yesterday would need 3 years at least to be accomplished/implemented. Today I know what I will say: “Stay the course of the original plan. If the school qualifies for continued help after this spring, we now have a plan started for the next layer of help.” God is GOOD!

Today I am touched and reminded about how to pray when I read Luke 11. In it the disciples ask Jesus to teach them how to pray just as John the Baptist had taught his disciples how to pray. In it Jesus gives them what we now call the Lord’s Prayer. Joyce Meyers puts a footnote outlining the points of prayer found in this. They are: worship, intercession, repentance, surrender, praise and petition. I don’t think God is going to be judging us if we don’t follow exactly this outline, but He does want us to include these elements in our daily communing with Him.

I also love how Christ goes on to tell His disciples to be diligent when praying. He tells them of the one who comes in the middle of the night to get help from a friend. At first he is turned away but he is diligent in his requests until the needs are met. Christ says we are to be this way as we come to God in prayer.

All of this has been good for me to reread. Being diligent in prayer hasn’t always been easy for me. Yes, I pray each day but holding things before God in intercession and petition is a discipline I’ve needed to grow. I want to be a good and faithful servant who remembers all of Christ’s instructions in how I pray.

God is bringing to the surface of my life some critical things which I’ve never seen before like I do today. Now that I truly believe I am a new creation as a result of Christ’s work at the Cross, I can see things I’ve avoided before. These are things like: I sin daily with selfishness. There are those moments when I feel nudged to say or do something which I try to rationalize myself to not address. God showed me one this morning. When I was reading my devotional the message hit home for one of the men in our step study. I heard God’s nudge to take a picture of it and forward it to this young man. I tried to rationalize out of doing so, but I finally did it. These acts of obedience are always important. I’ve never felt this to be so true as I do today.

Now that I no longer see my past as my current “sin state” I can hear God more clearly and I want to obey Him more solidly. I’ve always had a first excuse which sounded like this: “I can’t do that, I’m a person who was used and they know it!” This lie doesn’t stop me like it use to. However, I still have thoughts which are now more selfish which try to stop me. Now they are more about my reputation. What if they think this is stupid? What if they don’t want me interfering with their personal lives?

This morning I confessed my pride and selfishness to God and asked Him to forgive me for it. I’m sure I’ll need to do this often, but now I see this more clearly. My past is my past. My present is where I want to live and stay daily in touch with God being obedient to His nudges.

In my Bible reading this morning I was reading in Luke 9:35. In this scripture verse God speaks to John, Peter and Andrew. Jesus had taken them with him on the mountain to pray. It is here that Moses and Elijah appeared to him. There is much in this story but what gripped me was when God’s voice spoke to John, Peter and Andrew. He said, “This is My Son, My Chosen One; listen to and yield to and obey Him!”

I can’t tell you how many times I ask God to speak to me so I get His insights in whatever the situation might be. In so doing, I listen to Him. If I then don’t surrender (yield) myself to His message by surrendering and then obey Him by following through with what I’ve listened to, I am now disobedient.

God has never spoken to me with a message like this: “If you feel like doing this, I’d suggest….” No, God is always clear and precise when He speaks and gives insights. When He told the three to listen, yield and obey, it wasn’t an option. It isn’t an option today either. I want to be a much better follower of His leading in my life. God is such a magnificent Father and I want to be a son who obeys by listening and yielding so I obey His commands.

Today is a family day. It is one of those were my brothers and spouses get together for lunch and the afternoon at one of our homes. This morning I was reflecting on blessings as I wrote about yesterday. I believe the biggest blessing my dad gave me which I want to return to him, is this family of mine. I’ve always been grateful for my sisters, they seemed to always accept me. I’ve only grown to feel accepted by my brothers in these past few years. I honestly believe now that all of this was buried in me rather than true for them. I didn’t accept myself so I couldn’t believe they’d accept me either. So, for today, I am most grateful for them. When we get together each month it truly is something I look forward to. Thanks dad!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! It is very nice to be home. The message God gave me yesterday morning about our meeting was exactly what happened. One would never have known there had been so much drama in the previous two days. God’s Holy Spirit had obviously been working on each of the participants. This final meeting was as though the drama had never existed. Also, it didn’t seem fake or a facade. I do believe man’s emotions and pride was getting in the way of what needed to be learned. God did His Work and this morning I am very grateful.

God’s message this morning is driving home one which my prayer warrior gave me a week ago. She gave me a set of CD’s on the topic of Blessings. She said it had been most meaningful to her and she felt it might be worth my while to also listen to them. I had been doing so last week and earlier this week. Yesterday afternoon, with the long drive home, I was able to listen to the last two (there were 6 total). Then this morning’s Bible reading in Luke 6 Jesus is telling the disciples and the crowd with them to not only forgive your enemies but to bless them.

Joyce Meyer’s writes a message regarding this command to bless as well as forgive. It challenges me to bring to God how I bless dad now that I’ve forgiven him several years back? This idea of blessing someone is not a new message but I’ve sure never thought about it in this context. Yet, I firmly know God is wanting me to do something along this line with dad. I don’t have any direction yet, but I’ve asked God to show me what He wants this to be. I do trust my Heavenly Father.

Today is the presentation to the district office group for which the past two days have been spent gathering evidence for it. We will finalize details this morning and give the presentation so that we finish by noon time. I’ve not been part of a review where so much drama has taken place for a long time. It isn’t pleasant. God seemed to assure me this morning that today is in His hands and I should not fret for the message is ready to be delivered. So, here we go.

I’m glad that I’m going home this afternoon and that Celebrate Recovery is tonight. This time away doing this work has drained strength and I’m feeling the need to be in an environment of spiritual celebration. Tonight will be a testimony night. I have no idea whose it will be but it doesn’t matter. A testimony always lifts the ones attending and reminds me that no matter the struggle, God is always there and will use our struggle to assist Him in redeeming others when we quit hiding it and let God use it. In fact, in my devotional reading this morning I am reminded that Paul became a true disciple for Jesus when He learned to thank God for His struggle, because with the struggle He finally grew to know and obey this tremendous Savior we serve. I want to do the same.