The present definition of “journey”, as this blog title reads, is more about awakening rather than traveling. I guess I could re-title it: The Awakening Continues. I’ve written several times about having New Creation written at the top of my prayer list to remind me each morning that I am one and I don’t have to earn this. It is a gift from God by receiving His Son Jesus as my Lord and Savior. There are lots of benefits to this which I slowly am catching on to.

Paul is writing throughout Galatians and Ephesians about the reality of Christ’s work on the Cross obtaining the gift of being a new creation for us. I feel as though I’m understanding the deeper side of this for the first time. The root of my understanding is coming from the truth that I do not earn this gift. I do not earn or finally become valuable enough that I can now be a new creation. I just haven’t realized how rooted I’ve been in this lie of Satan. There is also another reality I’ve seen this morning I am going to attempt explaining.

Throughout much of my life I struggled with the lie that I was sin. The sexual abuse and dad’s verbal abuse had me believing that my brother’s sexual sin left me as sin. I didn’t commit the sin, I was the sin–I thought. I was a man being used by another man. I didn’t have the value of other men and my dad’s verbal abuse only reinforced what Satan wanted me believing. So, how does one give to Jesus the sin you commit when you are the sin? No matter how many times I gave my sin to Jesus at the alter, at home, wherever I was, I still felt dirty. Coupled with this was the sexual pleasure from healthy sex. I’ve always been easy prey for Satan’s attacks that somehow this is wrong too even though I know it is a lie. Satan would try to tie the stimulation one felt from sexual abuse to the stimulation/pleasure of healthy sex.

This morning Jesus helped me see my brother’s sin having been taken to the Cross by Him. He then helped me see that my sin was given to him by me at the Cross so He could do the same with my sin as He did with my brother’s. They are very separate actions. The emotional separation of these is now clear. Somehow, writing this seems raw, but important. I pray it is not offensive to any reader, but it will help others who might struggle with this lie as I have.

God isn’t finished with His assignment of addressing the message of the past couple days. As I began to read Ephesians this morning I was brought back to my unfinished business of God’s Love for us (me) and that this isn’t something I earn by doing for Him. The fact that I know this and believe it doesn’t change why I do things by the end of the day.

As Paul was addressing the people of Ephesus, he talked about God’s lavish love for His creation–man. Each one of us is chosen by God to be how He made us to be. He even gave us His Son Jesus so this creation–you and me–could stand before Him pure and spotless. This is the measure of the love He has for us. Joyce Meyer says in a footnote to say out loud–“I belong to God”. We say this not because of what we have done to earn it. We say it because God created us to be His from the start. Our relationship with Him is firm and secure through Jesus Christ having been invited into our lives.

I can’t begin to tell you in words how much I long to know this message deep within my soul! My head knows it, believes it, trusts it; but, when I walk into each day I have to be reminded of it for my actions are so often to prove worth/value.

I have read the messages of Galatians and Ephesians many, many times. Never have I had their messages–these I’m writing about, hit me so strongly. “I belong to God.” My one devotional this morning was written from Revelation 3:20-22: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.” I’ve always translated this message to be one of salvation. But tying it in with the deeper message of today–I belong to God–makes me realize that each morning as I come to God in my devotional time, Jesus is waiting to come in and dine with me and me with Him. I belong to THEM–what a glorious message!

I feel like I need to add a statement at the end of yesterday’s post–“to be continued”. I said yesterday that I would need to reflect more on the topic of the fruits of the Spirit and the preceding scriptures which outline the behaviors of man. Today as I continued to read in Galatians, I find more which Joyce Meyer inserts. I greatly appreciate her insights for they clarified for me what I was pondering and still unclear.

Joyce says that all of us are created with talents, those gifts given at birth which we would call our strengths. The behaviors outlined in Galatians 5:19&20 are the ones man develops over time which are sinful and even destroy the effectiveness of the given talents/gifts we possess from birth. Paul, writer of Galatians, goes onto say in Galatians 5:22-24 that when we accept Christ into our hearts the seeds of the characteristics of the Holy Spirit are planted within us. God is giving us opportunity to grow these seeds, nurture them until they become evident in our lives by the way we use the gifts/talents given to us at birth.

Joyce goes onto say that the fruits of the Spirit begin with love and end with self-control. She identifies these two fruits as bookends for the other 7. In other words, we should strive to use all of our gifts/talents in love and in self-control. The talents I possess were largely different from those of my father. When I was growing up and was praised for any talent I used I was brutally criticized for them by dad. I was told I just wanted to be better than the rest of my family and I should just leave and go do my own thing for I didn’t care at all for others. This was never the thinking I had, but I was endlessly told this. Because of this I’d hide from any praise I’d receive and if I did get any, I’d certainly try to keep it from dad.

I love the balance Paul has given talents and use of them through growing the seeds of God’s Holy Spirit. This is how we should monitor ourselves and how we should give any assistance to others, including our children and grandchildren. How much I want to grow in this!

I was stricken this morning while reading the 5th chapter of Galatians. I’ve always given credible attention to the fruits of the Spirit found in this chapter, but preceding them is the list of man’s behaviors which are sinful and not of the Spirit of God. Just a couple of these behaviors are divisions and strife. As I was reading this I instantly thought of our own country’s leadership. Beyond our country is a world of countries which are struggling the same. I was asking God what I could do about this, just one man in Idaho? His response was as instant as my question. He asked me if I am living this way? Do I have a divisive spirit and do I create strife?

In the following verses which list these behaviors which pattern man are a list of the behaviors which pattern God’s Spirit. These behaviors include: kindness, peace, patience and self-control. My goal is not to be anxious over the behaviors of others, but to stay in touch with what God has asked each of His children to do–live by His Spirit’s presence within us. Wow, I really need to spend more time in this. This is another one of the lifetime lessons I have to come back to and reflect upon as well as adjust as needed. I also want to diligently pray for our country and world leaders to see the strengths of God’s Spirit within them replacing the behaviors of man without God’s Spirit leading.

Have you ever known someone who loved waiting patiently for something they longed for or something they deeply prayed for someone else–even themselves? I do know people who are better at this practice than others, but, to love waiting, trusting, believing that God has something rich in store, is a disciple only Christ can help us develop.

As I was praying this morning there were several people who came to mind and are in the midst of this “need to wait”. A father whose daughter is in the hospital waiting to see if the surgery will save her leg, a man who is battling his addiction and so wanting to overcome once and for all, a couple waiting to see if their offer on the “dream home” will be accepted. In each case they are having to wait. What can we do during this time?

As I was going into my prayer time I was looking out the window at the spring flowers, seeing the dawn’s light streaking through the clouds and watching the birds busily doing their nest building and food gathering. I don’t think they even know to worry if they know something is at risk. The three elements I wrote about yesterday were what came to mind for me: Faith, Trust, Believe. Is my FAITH anchored in the God I know? Is my TRUST rooted in truth that God uses all things to His honor and glory? Do I BELIEVE God’s Word to be true for me?

I am not the one caught in these particular situations, but in each case I know the individuals well. I pray God’s Spirit to surround and penetrate darkness that wants to shroud in these times. i also pray for these ingredients of faith, trust, believe to be strengthened during this time of waiting.

As I wrote yesterday’s blog entry I had a heightened awareness of my need to stay with God’s leadership throughout my day. I was much more aware of my need to believe God is fully in control and stay conscious of this truth throughout the day. It isn’t that I don’t believe this, it is more that I just start doing Earnie things and when something doesn’t go right I suddenly am aware I stepped ahead of the plan. I do often find myself there.

What is standing out to me today is that Faith, Trust and Believing are critical elements in Christian living. They not only start the process, but they are elements of the lifestyle which must stay firmly in place. Then, following these 3 comes obedience. I am never to do until I practice these three ingredients. The obedience for me is my doing part. It isn’t enough that I “get my fix” of God in my life as I start the day. My obedience needs to look like checking in throughout the day as I am into my doing so that it is in full alignment with God’s leadership in my life–The Holy Spirit.

I truly want to have this practice of living deeply rooted in me. I don’t want it to be something I write about for a few day and then move onto the next “thing”. All of living each day needs to be centered around these components. I ask God to keep me right here each and every day.

I must confess that each morning as I’ve been processing through this assignment of reflecting on Jesus’ life from birth to ministry, I find myself lost. As my journaling begins I seem to having little if anything to write. So, I begin by writing how little I understand. Then, as I allow myself to think about what I know Christ did from what the bible tells us, I begin to see what He did that I don’t do. Often in scripture we’re told that Christ spent ample time with His Father. We also know that The Holy Spirit was with Him and guiding Him. I’m quite sure too that The Holy Spirit was growing in Him because of this process. Christ was learning to rely on this time to know just what His Father wanted from Him. I do start everyday this way. However, when I’m done with this, Earnie takes over. I then do what I think I’m to do the rest of the day. That’s not to say that what I’m doing is wrong, I just don’t very often check in with God to know I’m on track with Him throughout the day as Christ so often did.

This morning’s bible reading in Galatians 3, Paul is getting after the Galatians for their living patterns. It is as though they are me. They are trying to live for Jesus their own way and by their own thinking and actions. Joyce Meyer also has something to add to this. She says she lived a long time trying to please Jesus by doing for Him. She would get quite frustrated when the outcomes of her “work” were not sufficient. She goes on to say that frustration in christian living primarily is from us trying to complete our work for Jesus rather than His work for Him. We take the lead rather than waiting for His insights/nudges to lead us. With His insights come the power of The Holy Spirit to complete His work. This is where faith, trust and believing come into play.

This I’m now realizing is what God was teaching Christ during these growing up years of His. Jesus had to get this well anchored in His lifestyle or else He wouldn’t have had the faith, trust, belief to go to the Cross and die for our sins knowing He’d rise again! Talk about a huge amount of FAITH and leaning on The Holy Spirit’s strength which He provides at just the right time. This same process of learning to trust and believe is what our same God is wanting to teach us/me. The faith Christ had in His DAD is what God our DAD is wanting us to have in Him today. I’m feeling like I’m a slow learner in this, but nonetheless, I’m glad to have this Light for today.

As I continue to reflect this week on Christ’s birth to ministry years I find myself wondering what happened to Joseph, his earthly father? He’s only mentioned in the bible ahead of birth, after birth fleeing to Egypt and returning a couple years later after Herod died. He’s referenced a few years later when Christ was found at the temple “by his parents”. It ends there. When Christ enters his ministry years only Mary and his siblings are referenced. Did his earthly father and mother point him always to God his Father? Within my family structure there were ample opportunities for me to see Christ. This was more from my mom and her parents and from going to church weekly and often during the week as I got older. I’ve said in previous blog entries that I’ve spent ample time in the dark cave of my past and I thought I was done with this cave. This exercise of analyzing Christ’s childhood to ministry years makes me go back in this time to see where I hadn’t found Christ. Is there more darkness to have Christ shed Light into?

This exercise is to examine at this point and not make decisions. As I took this to Christ this morning I asked what He wanted me to know at this point? Instantly the song, “Amazing Love–Oh What Sacrifice” came to mind. The words are so powerful!

“My Lord–what love is this, that pays so dearly? That I the guilty one may go free! Chorus: Amazing love, O what sacrifice. The Son of God given for me. My debt He pays and my death He dies that I might live. And so they watched Him die, despised, rejected. But oh, the blood He shed flowed for me. (Chorus) And now this love of Christ shall flow like rivers. Come wash your guilt away. Live again! (Chorus)”

This is what Christ wanted me to know at this point. How humbling and yet so powerfully wonderful!

Today as I began my journaling I once again began with the reflecting process of Christ’s childhood which led me to do the same with my own. There is much I began to notice about God’s involvement. God had a very specific reason for sending His Son Jesus to earth for each of our sake. However, the humbling reality for me is that He had specific intention in having me too. I have so much to awaken to in this, but just this much is so comforting.

In my devotional reading by Oswald Chambers, he says that when God is speaking to us we should not talk to others about it until the message is clear. We tend to too soon try and receive support or confirmation from others regarding what God is telling us. God is Sovereign and has no need for His child to confirm what He is saying to them through another man. I’ve struggled with this message for a long time not thinking I was worthy to hear God’s voice. Yet, in more recent years I’ve learned to trust far more in this arena.

If there is anything of late that is being confirmed daily, it is the fact that God is truly a God of Grace. As I started the book of Galatians this morning the entire theme of this small book is GRACE. My upbringing in the church was pretty much about legalism. Do this and get this, do that and get that. Doing is the key and it is doing the right thing so you don’t get what you deserve. God is made to be a god of judgment in the world of legalism. However God’s own words tells us over and over about His patient endurance waiting for us to come to Him and receive His Son as our Savior and as His Gift to us. Yes, judgment will come, but now is not the time. We are in the time of GRACE and this is the message man needs to know of our God.

As I began my devotional time today I was journaling to Jesus about our relationship. I had to confess to Him that I’ve never thought He and I were equal as far as human flesh is concerned during His years on earth. I have thought that since He had a direct connect to God with God being His Dad, He could withstand sin while I couldn’t. Getting that out in the open allowed a pathway to open up between us. I ended up going back into the darkness of my past and visiting a time when I was only 9 or 10 and I had an encounter with The Holy Spirit. It wasn’t anything overwhelming, but it was definite. What I recall is being alone on a ditch bank at one of our pastures. It was a Sunday and we’d just returned from church. I was lamenting the abuse I’d been experiencing. I had this presence come about me which for the moment made me feel loved and accepted. I started crying as a boy not knowing where this came from, but loving this sense of acceptance.

As I begin to process/experience a week of examining Christ’s life on earth from birth to His ministry I see first-hand the connection He had to The Holy Spirit. Somehow Jesus knew He was loved and accepted by His Heavenly Dad and likely he knew he was accepted by his earthly dad. The Holy Spirit is a huge link in this and likely He will be increasing as this journey continues.

My dad use to say he needed to break my spirit/kill my spirit. Now, God is breathing new life/spirit that He wants understood. The new creation He makes us to be has a spirit which is alive and well and knows The Holy Spirit. I have much to learn and I want to be a good student in this process.