I’ve already written several times in this new year that my focus for it is to live 24/7 for Jesus Christ. When this first came to my mind I fought it knowing how hard I’ve tried to do this in times past. Of course, in attempting this it was always of my own strength and we know how successful living from our own strength is. I’ve also known that attempting to live 24/7 in the strength of God is like a mystery–how do I actually put this into practice? I know enough about surrender and believing from all that God has done for me that I will give this goal another try. What God has been showing me over and over is that it’s our relationship which grows me into this possibility.
In the beginning of Mark 3, Jesus heals on the Sabbath the man with a crippled right hand. Jesus says to him, “‘…Now stretch out your hand!’ as he stretched out his hand it was instantly healed!” The footnote in the Passion (Bible I’m using this year) says, “…the hand symbolizes holding, giving, receiving, doing. It was his right hand which brings the added significance of power: God’s right hand–pleasure, approval, and righteousness. A crippled right hand points to the lack of all these things. Human beings are helpless before God, crippled in all our works. But the power of Jesus heals our limitations and brokenness. Religion cannot heal us but Jesus can.”
One of the greatest healings Jesus has given me of late is the gift of believing. The relationship with Him, God and The Holy Spirit is growing so much. I’ve doubted for so long, disbelieving I could truly be of much use for God. All this time He has been patiently waiting for me to see His Healing Light which comes from believing. How I thank Him for His faithfulness to me (each one of us)!
I have written the past couple days about some changes in my life. I have not felt released to put the specifics of this into the daily entries. However, I will soon be able to do this. I awoke quite early again this morning with all of this on my mind and my emotions filled with anxiety. I began my journaling and had a good conversation with Jesus regarding all of it. Then I picked up my devotional which was entitled: “PEACE IS MY GIFT TO YOU.” The first passage began, “When anxiety fights to take hold of your heart, and chaos tries to consume you, allow me to fill you with my peace. When you have no strength to step beyond the line of stress that the enemy has drawn, bow before my presence and I will come running…I will give you peace that goes far beyond what your mind can comprehend.”
Our God is such an amazing God! His TEAM: God, Jesus Christ & The Holy Spirit are so much more than I can comprehend. Today’s reminder is to stay surrendered and simply relax and be obedient to what I know God is doing. “…One day at a time, one moment at a time….” These few words are the wisdom for today and each day.
Well, the journey not only continues, but there seems to be doors opening which would change what I do with my “work time”. After talking and praying with my prayer warrior on Saturday and having close friends come yesterday and sharing with them, I know what I’m to pursue. I’m going to set up a meeting later this week to put action into place if this is indeed of God. I feel as though my life is starting all over again as I write this, yet, God, I know, is not interested in my age as much as He is interested in my willingness and my total surrender to Him. This I am!
How I love and praise my Father God, Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior and The Holy Spirit within me. I humbly write this.
Yesterday I went to see my prayer warrior. I needed to listen to her and let God speak to me through her. This truly happened. She gave me a verse she said God had given to her earlier that day for me. It is I Peter 2:9: But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. She was emphasizing that I am a special possession of God and I am not only to believe that but to act on it. What struck me boldly was the last part saying God called me out of darkness into his wonderful Light! I have known darkness for so long and to see God’s Light so clearly today makes me simply shed tears of great JOY!
I am blessed beyond measure and am extremely grateful for all that God has done, is doing and will do as each day comes. Lets Praise God together on this Lord’s Day!
Have you ever wished something could take place knowing full well it never would? I’ve lived with this wish much of my life. Now that I’m at the age I am I have thought it couldn’t happen anyway. The last couple of days have not only brought this wish to the forefront, but in so doing, there is a plan for it to materialize. I am being asked if I would say yes to it.
God has been leading me in this journey to a point of awareness that being a new creation also means doing just what He asks of us. In my flesh I hear screaming voices saying, “Don’t you know what I’ve done and what has been done to me? Don’t you know the temptations which go through my head? Don’t you know….!” Then I hear that small but definite voice which says, “Yes, I do know. I’m the very One who has taken care of all of it. I am the very One now asking if you will take this step with me.” (I shed tears as I write this.)
God is AMAZING. That’s all I can say at this moment.
God’s goodness to us is simply amazing! I go far too long forgetting this dynamic truth. My devotions of late have been addressing the work God does in us ahead of His using the work. What I mean by this is that God has patiently allowed me to struggle in my own strength so I could finally find His healing from His Strength through surrendering. The greatest and most humbling part of this for me has been finding how my struggling years are used now in my story to help someone else find their own victory without struggling so long. It is so humbling to know that even the struggle God uses when I surrender all of this to Him.
Last night’s lesson on Spiritual Inventory II was very well received. It is important to do an inventory of our human life and coming face to face with the sins/ills of it. Yet, if we don’t take a look at the spiritual purpose of doing this, it will overwhelm us with shame so we go back into hiding/denial. Seeing how God takes these sins/ill thinking and turns them into a message for His use, is what motivates us to move forward. This is no longer about me, it becomes about Us: God, you and me. Wow, God is so amazing!
It is nice to have a day to feel retired. There are several things to do but there is no rush in getting to them until later in the day when I leave for Celebrate Recovery. I find that temptations can be an issue on a day like today so I’ve already contacted my sponsor so he can be in prayer for this time to remain healthy. Before I had found the belief that I truly am a new creation, I wanted God to remove all of this from me, thinking that would make me a new creation. Little did I know that a new creation is still of the flesh and experiences its weaknesses. I’m learning to live the life of a new creation who will someday leave the bondage of flesh but can live in peace while here knowing the fight is fought best when I put it before the Light of Truth in the power of Jesus Christ my King!
Today as I begin to write this blog I ponder for a moment regarding the what I should write. The one which stands out the most is how rich the daily messages are for me from God as I read my devotional and then my bible–The Passion. These two are authored by the same individual. I had no idea when purchasing them that I’d find such meaningful, deep-rotted messages each day which coincide with my need/desire for spiritual growth. I know God knew all of this and I can’t thank Him enough for it.
There is no place I’d rather be than in His (GOD’s) Hiding Place. Last night we addressed lesson one–DENIAL in our step study group. In it we had to identify all that we had been keeping in our own private hiding place trying to pretend it isn’t real or knowing it’s real but not wanting the world to know about it. In God’s Hiding Place we can find the place of peace knowing the world knows all about us and the reason they do is because God is wanting us to obey Him using our past to help others find safety in sharing their own. It has taken years for me to uncover all that I’ve had in hiding, but now that it’s no longer hidden inside me, I simply have peace–a grateful and humble peace. Only God can give such a GIFT and how grateful I am for it.
God is shedding so much light of late regarding my personal awakening to Him and me. Satan has had a hay day much of my life. I’ve allowed him to manipulate my emotions thinking my sins weren’t as bad as dad’s or my brother’s so even things like porn would be ok if I didn’t do it very much and didn’t do anything with it overtly. Now that I see my sins nailed to the Cross without a buffer in-between them I see clearly the black of my sins. Other things about my personal selfishness are also more clearly seen. I am deeply humbled and grateful that Jesus didn’t give up on me until I’ve seen this as I do today. Finding real freedom is truly stepping out of all my denials into the genuine Light of Truth.
The new step study we began last week steps into lesson one tonight which is Denial. I am seeing some areas of denial I hadn’t admitted until now. Fourteen years and God is still shedding Light into areas of darkness for me. I truly love Him for this. My hiding place all of my life has been within me where I’ve lived with lies that caused me fear and anxiety. All of this time God has waited for me to find His Hiding Place where He provides the peace which passeth all understanding. I love so much this new hiding place!
Yesterday I began describing what setting my personal goal this year has awakened in me. My message has been to realize the selfishness of the flesh and in turn, begin to understand how the Holy Spirit wants to replace this selfishness with His Unselfishness if I will turn it over to Him.
As I continued through the day yesterday I also had pointed out to me that my measuring rod for my selfishness had been my dad and my brother. Becoming a new creation in my own belief system has disallowed me from using my dad and brother. My measuring rod has begun to be Jesus Christ Himself. All of a sudden in so doing this I’ve seen a very selfish me. The hope Jesus Christ gives is so much greater than simply living better than dad. He wants me to know I can live in His Peace and Freedom with my total surrender. I know this is still a lifetime work, but I am much more awake to the work at hand. My work is the surrender of my will while I listen and know The Holy Spirit’s nudges and respond accordingly.
All of this gives new meaning to PRAISE. I can praise Him for His faithfulness during all of the years it has taken for me to awaken. I can and do praise Him for His leadership in every detail of my personal life as well as my work and social life. He is FAITHFUL to the end. Hallelujah!
Earnie Lewis 