There has been a troubling item some people close to me have been dealing with and I’ve wanted to help but didn’t know how. I’ve been praying about it and leaving it with God (as best I could). As I drove into town yesterday morning to get an oil change for my car I was being nudged to take a step I “just knew” I shouldn’t be taking. Yet, while I was at the dealership I took the step and sent an email. Within a few minutes I was being called. We talked through what was troubling me for the others involved. Within an hour the issue was being addressed in a way I had never thought possible–all for the good.

This morning as I was journaling I was telling Jesus how easy it is to live for Him when I know what to do and how difficult it is when I don’t know what to do. As I was writing it I was nudged to remember what TRUST is all about. When I don’t know what to do I’m then to TRUST. It was at this point that God reminded me that yesterday when I was “trying to trust” He nudged me and I obeyed. He then did His work. I learned a big lesson in this. When we don’t know what to do, we are to TRUST. If there is something God wants us to do while we are trusting, He will nudge. That seems like a simple set of directions, but if you are like me, it is a set that I struggle to do every time it occurs.

As I was reading in Job, I was awakened that this lesson I’m talking about is one Job had in place. No matter how big the issue he faced, he trusted God. I know now what important lesson God was wanting me to get from reading Job–TRUST. What a good teacher our Father is!

Have you ever pondered on the magnitude of decision making which took place in heaven when God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit decided to have Jesus come to earth as man? Jesus would literally become a man, God would commune with Him as He does with us as we give Him voice, and The Holy Spirit would dwell within Him giving Him wisdom, nurture and a guiding Spirit to do the will of the Father.

I was journaling as I started my devotional time about my relationship with Jesus. It was at that point I was reminded that God and Jesus made this decision together so we could have a Savior. They recognized there was no hope for man to “save himself”. Our flesh is just too weak. As I finished my journaling and began to read my devotional I found the message to be just as I’d been journaling. The difference was that Charles Spurgeon wasn’t pondering this, he was explaining it with great clarity. He writes, “Someone who truly knows the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as they should be known will never set one before the other when it comes to love. Instead, he see them at Bethlehem, Gethsemane, and Calvary, with each equally involved in the work of salvation.”

As I finished this devotional reading I began my bible reading continuing with Job. Job seems to be a tremendous example of one who knew his Father God ahead of Christ coming and allowing us the opportunity to have the Holy Spirit within us. I have much to learn about living a life totally surrendered ahead of time so I shed God’s Light throughout the day.

My devotional time was interrupted this morning by a phone call. One of the young men in our Celebrate Recovery (CR) is having a most difficult time. He needed to process and vent. I had finished reading my Bible reading in Job by the time he called. Each day when I finish in this book I have to sort through my emotions. I have such a difficult time with these “friends” of Job. They don’t back off and amazingly, Job doesn’t give in to their accusations of him. As I listened to the caller this morning I found myself thinking similar thoughts which looked like Job’s friends. When the call ended we agreed we’d see each other tonight at CR.

As I began to pray over my prayer list I was praying for this young man and also bringing to God my own petitions for him. I was thinking I need to talk to him about praising God in the midst of the storm. Then it seemed God nudged me with the message–you praise Me. As I began to praise God I suddenly realized it was easy for me to Praise God–I know Him! This young man is very new to God. He is just now learning to pray and believe. So, I thanked God for already having a great plan in mind for this young man. The issues of the present are not abandoned by Him. I know He will use all of this to His Glory and I praise Him already for what He will do with it.

As I write this I am awakened that there were people praying such prayers as this for me so many years ago when I was in the midst of my own divorce. Today it is easy to see how tenderly, yet diligently, God was working. I will PRAISE God throughout today and each day for what He is doing even though I and my young friend cannot see it at this point in time. I would love for you to join me in praying for him.

I found it interesting again in my reading of Job where there seems to be so much judgment of him by his friends, my devotional was about judgment. Charles Spurgeon writes in the devotional that we are free of God’s justice because Christ paid the price of sin for us. We are in debt not to justice, but to Christ’s love. He brings out that Peter said he’d die before he’d ever deny Him. Yet in the same evening he denies Jesus 3 times. Spurgeon goes on to ask, “Rather than dying for Christ, are we willing to live for Him?”

As I am reading Job it is so easy to step into judging the friends of Job. This morning I asked God to show me what I am to learn from this book? He then showed me what came out in the devotional–“Live for Him”. Living for Jesus doesn’t look like judging others. We can learn from the book of Job just how ugly judgment is. These friends came to console Job who had lost everything and now his own health was sorely at risk. Yet, what did they do? I don’t want my friendship to come across this way–ever.

The challenge to live for Jesus is our challenge. The friends of Job had never experienced Jesus or been given The Holy Spirit. In Living for Jesus, we have The Holy Spirit within us to lead us each and every step of our days. I know how my humanness wants to step in at times, but I also know that when I stop for just one moment the Voice of God speaks. I may have to wait for the message, but the first thing is to stop the stepping into what my humanness would do. OK, this is lesson number 1 from Job.

I don’t think there is any other book in the entire bible quite like Job. It is sad from the moment you begin reading the first chapter. How many of us think about the fact that Satan is bartering with God about any of us? Job’s wife, his supposed best friends are all trying to get him to respond to their human wisdom. I know how the book ends but I’m only a quarter of the way through it and I want to punch his friends! One of my darkest times in life was my divorce. I thought I’d done everything humanly possible to live a life for God, be a good dad to my kids and try to be a good husband. Yet, I was told I wasn’t loved and I was going to be divorced. This was bad enough, but I had several close friends and acquaintances who did just what Job’s friends did–accuse him of needing to straighten out my life. It was obvious Job had done something wrong or God wouldn’t be punishing him as he was. I needed to confess my wrongs just like Job’s friends were trying to get him to do. I knew in my own mind that I was being punished for even thinking I should ever marry. A person with my background should never think he is worthy of someone’s love. My kids should be taken away from me so I wouldn’t end up hurting them as I was hurt. I couldn’t say any of this out loud. It would only add fuel to the judgments I was already receiving.

There were a few very kind people however that gave me a glimmer of hope. One older lady in our church told me that God must love me a great deal in order to allow me to experience such hurt. I clung to this even though I couldn’t find any substance for her statement. All of these years later I have learned so much about living life. Jesus tells us to not judge one another. He does so for very good reason. We can support one another and let Christ be the Judge.

As I arose this morning I talked to my friend’s wife. He is still in the hospital but his vitals are closer to normal. They are working to determine the cause of this attack before they release him. God is taking care of him which I knew He would. I simply pray this cause can be known so my friend can join his family. God is using our prayers!

Today is the day of Betty’s celebration service. Her family is gathering this morning at the gravesite and then the celebration will follow at 12:00 noon. I was asked to say something before the song I’m to sing. There are so many things which come to mind, but all of them bring immediate tears. I don’t want to breakdown while I sing her requested song either. I know to trust Jesus to take care of all of this but my humanness screams other messages at the moment. As I write this I am reminded of yesterday’s message–turn it over to Jesus and look up to Him as I do so–“Jesus, this is YOURS! I thank you too!”

As we had our step study lesson yesterday we were discussing the worthwhileness of journaling. What was becoming very clear to me is that journaling is what has kept me in the present all of these years. My life was spent denying my past and any effects it had on me. They were buried and sealed. I use to hate having to write about them, but over the years in doing so, I not only faced the memories, but I’ve also been able to find God’s presence and handiwork in them. I was never the orphaned, abandoned child I thought I was. In fact, God has always had a plan and was always present in my living it out. Today I praise God and thank Him for using all of my past to offer HOPE to those who are still in the midst of confusion and struggle.

I received a prayer request last night close to bedtime. It was for my dear friend I’ve been singing with for 52 years. All of his family (kids and grandkids) are at Disneyworld having left last Friday. That very night he became quite ill so one of his sons, who is a medical doctor, took him to the hospital. They say it is pancreatitis. They’re keeping him for a couple of days. The prayer request is that he’ll quickly get better so he and his family can enjoy their vacation together. This hit me like a hammer. Our friendship has been for so long and always solid, I just hadn’t ever seen him as fragile. Yet, all I need to do is remind myself we are flesh–human. That is enough to know we are temporary in our present state.

Our step study lesson this week has been to journal what has been good each day, bad each day, what we did to face each of them and lastly, record any patterns one sees from the week. I’ve been one who journals for many years now. However, consciously watching for patterns was a good reminder. I know that when I am tired I am vulnerable. Also, when I am totally alone I can be too. As I was journaling this morning and talking to Jesus about this, He reminded me to not only turn from the temptation, but to also look up to Him as I turn. Seeing Christ in the midst of temptation is solid. I lived a long time thinking I’d been abandoned so now being able to see Christ at these times is a blessing of His Love and His Grace. How I love this Savior, Lord and Friend–Jesus Christ. (He is also my friend’s HEALER!)

Today is not the typical Saturday. We have an 8:30 am mtg which is followed by a 9:30 practice for tomorrow’s worship for which I’m taking part. Following that I have another practice for the funeral service Monday for my dear friend’s mom. When I get home some other friends are coming by to pick me up so I can show them where the two Free Methodist churches were in a couple neighboring towns. They no longer exist but this particular friend is a social history researcher. She wasn’t raised in this area so she said she is dying to know where these sites were. I’m sure she’ll take pictures for her records. I was raised attending one of them and my family attended the other one at the time of my birth. For me, it will just be fun to spend some hours with them.

Yesterday I mentioned the 9:00 am mtg. It was one of those where God’s presence and influence had to take charge or else it was going to go down quickly. After about 20 minutes I could see the downward spiral and I prayed inwardly for God’s Almighty Holy Spirit to take charge and help the ones talking to hear each other with understanding and stop trying to defend their own message. The meeting ended after 1.5 hours where both parties agreed their greatest strength is their passion and in this case their greatest weakness was their passion. It had closed their ears from hearing the other one. God’s presence made all the difference and the meeting ended with a great plan for moving forward. I just love watching God work!

As only God does, one of the situations of yesterday has a 9:00 meeting this morning addressing it. I have been invited to attend. God is always amazing and I give praise to Him even now for the outcome. He is our One and Only True God!

Last night our Celebrate Recovery testimony was a video. The gentleman sharing his recovery story had a different one from mine, with the exception of the influences of his dad. Promises were made by his dad which always were left unfulfilled. By the time this man was entering adulthood his attitude towards God carried much defective thinking. As only God orchestrates, the last year of his father’s life was spent in the home of this man. During this time he found out just who his father was as a person. The gentleman said in the end, “I found out my dad really did love me, he just was a very poor father.” I wrote this down because it truly resonated with me. There were so many times I had wished I weren’t my dad’s son. I hadn’t looked at my dad as a person until last night separating him as father from him as a person. It would have been so much easier to have been a neighbor to dad or a friend to him. He treated all of them so much differently. Today I realize the truth of this man’s statement: “I found out my dad did love me, he just was a very poor father.”

When I finally had talked with my dad a few weeks before his death, I shared what my counselor had wanted me to share. It was then that dad told me, “I told everyone I knew how proud I was of you, I guess I just forgot to tell you.” Dad’s message to me that day was heard but it didn’t at that time replace the depth of damage his previous ones had caused. Last night’s speaker helped me close this door. I can now see dad as a person who was different than the one who was my father. Dad was a good man, he just wasn’t a good father.

The morning is quiet, no noises anywhere except in my head. There are questions about today’s work–finishing a school district’s federal review, a training this afternoon, a meeting following that with one of my pastors and then Celebrate Recovery tonight. Along with this there is trouble others are having which don’t have ready solutions. I’d like to help, but how to do this and if I should isn’t clear. Satan would like for this to destroy my day. However, I’ve bound him in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ! He has no authority over me and none over these situations unless we choose to not follow Christ Jesus in them and the nudges He will give at the moment we need to respond or withhold from responding.

I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. When I am weak, HE is STRONG. Today I surrender and want to stay surrendered so His Light will be the Light which leads in every area. This Light is also the LIGHT where Satan has to flee. His darkness is not only penetrated, but his darkness can have no residence when Christ Jesus is given authority.