Today’s journey has a picture of rest in it.  I ended the 3 month commitment to the school dist. yesterday having a 3 hour mtg with the lady who was returning to her position.  Today is one of those days where I could be selfish and do nothing if I chose that.  I have a dental cleaning this morning and that is my only obligation.

As I started my devotions this morning I was awakened once again to the new creation God has given me through Jesus Christ.  I was asked in the book: The Nature of Freedom to write about how it feels to “stand with God” knowing He wants me there.  This was an insightful assignment.  With all the present awakenings to being a new creation 24/7 I am able to picture myself actually standing with God.  It is a very teary picture but the beauty is that I can see it.  It actually caused me to reflect on what had been a fact for me all my life.  That fact has been that I’ve always wanted this life of mine to end.  I’m not suicidal but I would rejoice knowing the agony of living through each day is done.  The mask of contentment and joy of living could end.  What is so striking for me this morning is the replacement of this old fact.  Today I told God I enjoy living each day.  The dread of needing to hide behind that old mask is totally gone.  The joy of living is real for me and I look forward to living each day as they come.  I don’t dread death, but I don’t desire it like I’ve have all my life.  I know this is a result of living in the new creation.

God’s blessings are real.  I rejoice in this fact.  To God be the Glory!

Well, it doesn’t look like spring, but looks can be deceiving!  Spring IS coming.  Last night I went to our Conquer class.  I hadn’t been to it the entire month of January.  We had to cancel 3 and then the last two I’d been gone.  It was the last session.  We now move into the year-long program called 7-Pillars.  I look forward to what God will awaken in me and teach me during this time.

Now that I’m more awake to the new creation I am, I am becoming more aware of what this new creation is and what it offers.  In Ephesians 6 the armor of God is outlined very well for us and we are told to put it on and use it.  When one reads this and sees the components of this armor one would know why God wanted us to use this armor.  However, my entire life has been confused and disappointed with the fact I could never make it work for me.  Last night’s Conquer class talked specifically about the Breastplate of Righteousness and the Shoes of the Gospel of Peace.  Being much more awake to my being a new creation 24/7 I suddenly realize why I’d never been able to use this armor.  I was putting it on the defeated, old me rather than this new creation.  What good is armor on a corpse?  It is still dead.  I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.  Laugh at the reality of the truth I’d just awakened to and cry that it took 66 years to finally understand.  Part of the lesson last night was visualizing what is true.  It seemed God was showing me that in my new creation I stand before Him righteous because Jesus is within me.  Then He showed me that this same righteousness if the Breastplate of Righteousness that is on me when Satan comes to attack.  The shoes of the Gospel of Peace are the same ones that let me stand before God and to also stand before the tempter.  Good grief, I just shake my head even now with the blessed assurance I feel knowing how powerful this truth is!

When I add the rest of the armor of God to these two already mentioned I am ready for the day.  I know I’m not alone in this awakening.  In the times I’ve shared it I’m asked about the book:  The Nature of Freedom that God is using to help me break free of this burdensome old self I’ve drug through life with me.  Now that I can see this old self for what it is I can also see that he never looked right in that armor anyway because it wasn’t meant for him.  I stand amazed however as a new creation wearing the full armor of God!

In my mind I see today’s date and tell myself it is the last day of winter.  It is just a little exercise I’ve used much of my life to reinforce the hope of Spring.  In February there are always days that begin to look like Spring is coming so I’ve always internally called Feb. my month of beginning Spring.

This new creation in me is beginning to make more and more sense.  Yesterday’s awakening that it is 24/7 is just the start of the rest of my life.  I had breakfast with a couple of guys from our Celebrate Recovery yesterday morning.  We were working through some difficulties dealing with temptations.  I would have said before yesterday that in dealing with temptation we need to access our new creation, use the armor of God, etc.  However, yesterday I mentioned my epiphany of having our new creation 24/7.  I don’t need to access or put on something as though I don’t yet have them.  In my mind I’ve always dealt with temptation more like a panicked person trying to get work done and I can’t find the tools in time to meet the deadline.  Where is this or that when I need them?  Where is the armor?  Where is the strength of God to withstand any temptation given to man?  Little did I know it was already within me waiting to be accessed.  I didn’t need to find them as much as I needed to be awakened to the truth that they are already within me and I can now use them.  Satan doesn’t flee in my panic–He manipulates so I do panic inside.  For the first time I can actually face temptation as something already defeated rather than seeing myself already defeated.

This reality of this is true for each of us.  The assurance of God’s gifts to us through Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit are the most powerful gifts we can have.  The owner’s manual is making more and more sense as I learn to believe it.

This morning’s devotion brought about an epiphany for me.  Every since I’ve begun to use Cook’s book:  The Nature of Freedom, with my devotions I’ve wondered where to fit it in.  My routine has been to read my devotional, then my Bible, journal and then pray over my prayer list.  I’d tried putting the addition in at different points and finally after a couple weeks began to do it right after I read the devotional.  I felt at peace somewhat about it so I let it go.  The book’s entire purpose (at least for me) is to awaken the reader to the new creation God has given us through His Son Jesus Christ when we invite Him into our lives.  I’ve begun to find that the message within the book jived perfected with my Bible reading.  I’m now reading the beginning of Colossians.  In it Paul is telling to live in joy regardless of the circumstances life has given you.  This tied nicely with the wrap up Paul was giving the people of Phillipi yesterday about being thankful in all things.

My revelation this morning was the awakening that the new creation I am is 24/7.  That seems so silly, yet it is true.  I have desperately needed to find how God would use this new me to address my past, the character defects I’ve had, dealing with the temptations of life, the desires to flee in circumstances that brought up the fears of my past, etc.   I was thinking the new me was for these times.  As I was having my devotions I was pondering how one could live in joy and with thanksgiving 24/7.  It seemed God simply said–“when you live in the new creation 24/7”.  All of a sudden it dawned on me that I can do this!  Certainly I can’t do this on my own but now that I have become much more awake to God seeing the Christ in me rather than the abused sinner in me, I am able to let God take charge of all aspects of me each day–each moment of each day.

This new creation is who gets out of bed each morning and comes to the den to commune with God.  I’d always come to the den to find the new creation so I could take him to work with me or into the day whether I was working or volunteering.  The new creation is simply me–24/7.  I kid you not when I say that when times of temptation or intense fears had come I’d try to find this new creation so I’d face the moments with him.  Now I understand why that didn’t work.  This seems so elementary, yet so profound.  I’m going to dwell in this for a while.

I’m always glad when January is about to end.  As much as I know about the need for winter, I am always glad to get to February.  I’m only one month away from Spring!

I woke this morning quite early with a number of people on my mind who need prayer.  In attempting to pray for them while still in bed I also knew God was wanting me up for more than prayer.  He wanted me to remember my need for giving Him Thanks through a thankful heart.  As I spent time in my devotions the topic of Thanksgiving seemed to be written all through the elements of the devotional time.  My friend who recently lost her husband can be most grateful He is in heaven; the young man who just can’t seem to find the right sponsor in Celebrate Recovery is finally at a place of true confession; and a man who has tried his best to drive God away and out of His life is now ready to embrace whatever God is asking him to do.  These are just a few examples of what could be worry and anxiety, but instead God wants me to give Him thanks for He is very much working.

I love God for His intimate compassion and never-ending patience with us.  I do want to rest in His love and I also want to be a vessel of His Light for others’ dark moments.  To God be the Glory!

On Thursday evening this past week I was able to experience God’s presence and His work in the meeting we had with our Aslan board.  As I was driving home from the school district yesterday I was called by one of the board members.  She wanted me to know that I had handled the meeting well and she felt God’s Spirit in me.  I was truly touched by this.  She had been one of the three very upset the previous meeting.  I was on my cell phone with her when I pulled into our driveway and saw two cars in our yard, one was my sister in law who was to spend the night flying out this morning from our airport and the other was a man I was to meet with and had totally forgotten.  Kathy was gone and these two people were outside waiting for someone to get home–rather embarrassing.

As I quickly regrouped and hugged my sis-in-law, the gentleman and I went into our den so we could talk privately.  He is one I’ve sponsored in our last step study.  We hadn’t met for several weeks due to the holidays and his getting the flu.  We spent a couple hours walking through situations needing to be discussed and prayed about and closed in prayer.  We agreed to meet again next week and look at doing a book study together.  (This time the date is in my phone calendar!)

My work with the school district is ending with a final meeting next Wednesday with the person I was temporarily replacing.  Prior to taking the job I had thought I wouldn’t do any more “secular work” as I thought God wanted me doing “ministry work”.  In the three months there I have been more fully awakened to the reality that God sees anything we do as potentially His work.  I know I am freer to bring Godly principles into conversations I have with individuals realizing we are all spiritual beings in a fleshly body.  Only man does secular work.  God always does His work.  I am realizing that no matter where God has me working I am on assignment for Him.  I don’t need to look for ways to bring Him into the picture.  If I am the new creation He has made, I will automatically be bringing Him into the picture as He is the driver of what I do whether man calls it secular or ministry.

This journey of life is never going to be done until the human life ends.  I will say that living it today is so wonderful with the bondage and weight of my past being much more removed.  Praise our Almighty God!

Yesterday was a whirlwind in many ways.  Because I got to work and hadn’t been there for almost two weeks, I had much to get caught up in readiness for my departure from them next Wednesday.  I quickly left in the afternoon to get to my grandson’s basketball game before going to the Aslan board meeting last night.

As I got to the meeting about 7 minutes ahead of its start, I saw that the chaplain at the juvenile correction center was there.  She is the one who had asked me to give my testimony for the kids last fall and also to have our quartet sing for them at their Christmas event.  She informed me that she had quit as of Dec. 31, 2016.  The day after our quartet sang she was called into the director’s office.  The director had received 3 emails complaining about my testimony and using the word “gay”.  The complaints had come from the adults present who supervise the kids.  No kid had complained at all.   I was called bigoted, etc. She had informed the director that this was just a fact of my story and that the conclusion of my testimony was one of redemption.  None of this mattered.  There is much history to this that doesn’t connect to me.  The director was wanting to remove the spiritual influence from the center and this was being used as another solid example of why it needed to happen.  The chaplain said she was relieved and glad to be gone.  This morning I have so many mixed emotions but I am assured that there is nothing I should have done or said differently.  I leave it with God.  It does hit me however, just how powerful Satan’s influence is when we are listening to the flesh and not the Spirit as we do our daily work.

God is amazing!  I’m sure glad God has more clearly opened my eyes to living in the new creation He has given me.  If I’d heard last night’s message in the old self, I would have run to my cave knowing I’d not listened to God and how in the world did I get this gal fired?  What damage had I done for some of these poor kids?  Instead, even though I’m sorry for this news, I know that all of this fits into a much bigger picture.  These teens in this center are examples of kids abused and beat up by society and they have taken their own steps of rebellion and retaliation getting them now placed in the center.  All of this pleases Satan to no end.  Removing the message of HOPE from the environment of the center only allows him to manipulate more.  God is bigger and more powerful than all of this.  I will rest assured that He is certainly not done working with each of these kids and even the adults that complained.  I leave this in God Almighty’s hands.

For the past three days I’ve been in another part of our state doing some educational work.  This is the first time I’ve been gone like this and been so at peace.  The earthly circumstances didn’t provide the peace.  The school district had to close their schools for the days I and our team were there but we were able to do our work anyway because people came in spite of the weather.  What was so amazing to me was the peace that was present within me.  There was also a strength present that was only about God’s Spirit.  Now that I’m becoming more aware of living in the new creation given by Jesus Christ I find an assurance I’ve never known.  These trips in the past have always caused anxiety because I’d be tempted to look at porn or something along that line.  This just wasn’t the case.  The only time the thought even entered my mind, it was immediately countered with the awareness that this new creation doesn’t stoop to it.  When it happened I thought–where did that come from?  Yet, I knew.

Today is a big day.  I’m going to the district where I’ve been working the past three months filling in for an administrator there.  I’m prepping to leave as I’ll be done next week.  This isn’t such a big item, but it is saying good-by to some mighty good folks.  Tonight I have a board meeting with the Aslan group.  We have some critical conversations needing to take place and I’m leading them.  God has provided me with materials I sense He is wanting us to use.  I woke up anxious about it at 5:00 am and got up.  God was wanting me to see all of this in His perspective.  There is so much for me to learn about living in the spiritual strength of being the new creation Jesus gave us.  Instead of fear, I go in anticipation of experiencing God’s Spirit doing His work as I obediently do mine.

Lastly, we had Celebrate Recovery last night after 3 weeks of cancellation due to this weather we’ve had.  How great is was to experience God’s presence once again with those who are so honest with their hurts, hang-ups and habits.  God is so GOOD!

I know I said yesterday that this title needs to adjust to the journey begins.  I still feel this way today.  It is as though the journey continues all right, but now I’ve finally found the true path to righteousness in the journey.  The path has always been there and I’ve somewhat been on it.  What is so different is the person on the path.  I have not been awake to this new creation God has given me.  Now that I’m actually awake to being this new creation I see a path I’ve never known.  This path is one of assurance.

So much of scripture is about spiritual living but I’ve always tried to translate it into a flesh meaning.  No wonder the Word of God has been such a mystery for man.  Jesus talked often in parables.  Just the statement that man must be born again is a perfect example.  We say, “How can a fully grown man be born again?”  It is so simple when I see this birth with my spiritual eyes open.  Please don’t think I’ve not understood being born again.  I just am using it as a simple example.  What I haven’t known and understood is living in the life that is born from this second birth.  God is helping me see this new creation not as a hope but as a reality.

I am going to be here the rest of my earthly life.  I want to be awake and a good learner in this new creation.  What freedom is mine and how wonderful to not feel the shackles of man’s bondage and shame.  To God be the Glory!

As I write this morning’s entry I feel as though I should entitle it:  The Journey begins.  It is the first day of consciously living as a new creation.  All day yesterday I kept being reawakened to the fact I am no longer the old me.  All the teachings of Celebrate Recovery, Conquer, the counseling I’ve had, church sermons, Bible studies and more are now making complete sense.  I know that 24 hours of believing this new me is nice, but I also know that life moves on and so does the fleshly side of living.  The amazing thing is that I have an inner assurance that this fleshly side is not what owns me.  To choose to live in the Spirit is now in ownership.  Before, this has always been somewhat of a mystery and grounded more in hope.  Today it is a belief that goes clear to the beginning of me–when I first came into existence thorough physical birth.  I learned awfully early that I wasn’t what man  wanted, however, I was exactly what God intended.  I no longer have that baggage being dragged along with me.  I have always wanted to dislodge it but with all the learning I had, I couldn’t seem to do it.  Now that I have been able to allow Christ to take Him and me to the very core of me, I am FREE.

Christ was tempted just like we are but He never chose to sin.  For the first time I can see myself choosing not to sin too.  This is such an amazing awakening.  I know there will be much more for me to learn in the days ahead but I don’t look into the future with any kind of fear.  I only look with anticipation for I am stepping into it as a new creation.  I am led by a God I now trust fully and with His team of Christ within me and The Holy Spirit for whom I have much to still learn.