The presentation of cardboard testimonies seemed to have a profound impact on the congregations yesterday.  It not only had an impact on them, it did for us participants too.  God always uses our brokenness to help others know their brokenness can find healing through Him.  Such a merciful God we have.

Today’s devotion told how we are like sheep.  It went into how dumb sheep are.  I’ve always kind of resented this comparison.  Good grief, I’ve tried to live a life so I didn’t look dumb.  This was what I thought my dad felt about me.  However, this morning as the Blackaby’s were writing in their devotion, we are helpless to fight off the world’s temptations without the direct help of our Shepherd–Jesus Christ.  As I read this I didn’t have to think back very far in my past to the days when I thought Jesus Christ was a wonderfully nice man–Savior even, but for some reason He didn’t think so much of me.  Today when I read this I know beyond a shadow of doubt that He loves me dearly just as He loves you.  The fact that He is my Shepherd keeping me from straying into temptation, is exactly what I cherish about Him.  He also gifted me with The Holy Spirit Who is helping me become the fruits of Him found in Galatians 5. 

I think the most remarkable thing about all of this regarding God, Christ, and The Holy Spirit’s work is that we do nothing for it except receive it once we’ve accepted Christ into our lives as Savior AND Lord.  Becoming the fruit of the Spirit is by the transforming power of The Holy Spirit as I live in being the new creation Christ gave me.  This is no longer something I want to grasp, it is something I am.  I’m just now starting to get this.  So, today and each day I want to be a good sheep rather than be insulted by being one. 

My devotional this morning said the Word of God–Bible was written to transform man, not just to inform man.  This is a perfect descriptor of what has been taking place in reading Galatians this time for me.  All the other times I’ve read it I’ve been given wonderful information about how to live for Christ, but the transforming wasn’t being done.  When I take information, I then have to do something with it.  When I am transformed by the Word, The Holy Spirit is doing the work.  The work I do is always temporary.  God’s Work through the Holy Spirit is eternal. 

When I was a young man I remember my favorite pastor doing a sermon series on the Fruits of the Spirit.  He took one fruit a week and expounded on it.  My understanding at that time was to do what that fruit was like.  I remember thinking I best choose one of these to work on for working on all of them is TOO MUCH!  Finally, the message is coming home in the understanding of transformation which is what God’s Holy Spirit does as we surrender our will and pride to Him.  I was in my 20’s when I heard this sermon series and now I’m in my late 60’s.  It took 40+ years to get me to “transforming”.  I think that looks like the children of Israel.  Yikes!

Today a group of Celebrate Recovery participants is doing a cardboard testimony in each of our services.  The choir is singing each time, “Lead Me to the Cross” while we bring our testimony of transformation forward.  How I pray God’s Spirit will have His Way helping those in bondage to see there is HOPE for them just as there has been for each of us.  God is so GOOD and today is another example of His Goodness.

I don’t know how many times I’ve read Galatians in my life but no matter how many, today I seem to be reading it for the first time with a much deeper understanding.  I’ve always marveled that God gave us His Holy Spirit to live within us, but I’ve felt so detached from such a reality.  Galatians talks so much about The Holy Spirit and yet it hasn’t been something I could personally relate to as I am beginning to do so now. 

Gal. 5:1 says, “In freedom Christ has made us free, stand fast then and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery.”  As I read this verse this morning I could sense God telling me that the chains of sinful habits, old beliefs, old thinking patterns are now a choice.  Yes, they have ensnared me all of my life, but Christ has made me free and now I know I am free.  So, do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.  In other words, don’t go back to taking a peek at porn, believing for a moment I’m less of a man, or any of the other old man thinking patterns.  This will only lead me back to the yoke of slavery for which I have been set free. 

Later in chapter 5 Paul is telling the Galatians about having the Holy Spirit living within them.  When this takes place we begin to become more and more like Christ with the “fruit of the Spirit” having His control of us.  In verses 22-24 it says the Spirit accomplishes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  As I read these, self-control really stood out.  It is the strength of The Holy Spirit within us that gives us the ability to not be “ensnared again to a yoke of slavery”.  All the lies Satan has wanted us (me) to believe I can stand up to them through the strength of The Holy Spirit “one day at a time, one moment at a time” as the Serenity Prayer says.  I use the self-control being instilled in me through believing The Holy Spirit.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to say when someone asks you to describe yourself, “I am loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled”?  Well, God is working on these for each of us, including me.  Wow, what a God we have and serve!

Yesterday’s post was only the beginning of what God had in mind for the day.  Until yesterday morning I was going to my counseling appointment to let him know I was very grateful for the last couple weeks and thank him for them.  God had done His needed work in me.  However, because of this new awareness, I felt very led to tell him what had taken place.  In our hour together he took me through therapy to a place where instead of me remembering what dad or my brother had done so I could know it was all about them, he took me to the same place to hear what God wanted to tell me about who I am to Him.  It was amazing. 

The stirring I had felt yesterday deep within me of truth that Christ loved me seemed significant to the counselor.  So his last therapy of the morning was to have me center on what God wanted me to know about this Light within me.  In this session I saw myself as I did almost 10 years ago when the counselor then was helping me connect to little Earnie.  This time however, I saw little Earnie with a firm, huge wall protecting him from the flames of torment.  It seemed God turned me around from the path of doom I thought I’d need to take, to see a very green pasture which was right behind me.  The fence was gone that was in the original scene 10 years ago.  Instead, there was this lush, green pasture inviting me to go into it. 

This morning as I continued my devotions and journaling about all of yesterday, God said this is the place of rest my Holy Spirit is leading you into.  You don’t work to get here, you get here by letting the Holy Spirit lead you here.  All of a sudden I could sense The Holy Spirit taking my hand as we walked into this new reality.  This is truly a spiritual place that is real today.  Until now it has been a hope for eternity. 

Today I will be working with a school all day.  But, as I do I will be doing it with a heart at peace knowing I am a child of God with Christ actually on the throne of me and The Holy Spirit having full reign, for in my spirit I am now at peace!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!  Kathy and I went to dinner last night to celebrate Valentine’s Day because tonight is Celebrate Recovery.  It was a nice dinner and enjoyable time.  This morning as I began my scripture reading I was starting the book of Galatians.  Each book in Joyce Meyer’s bible is started with a statement of meaning she writes.  For Galatians she says, “Galatians teaches us that we approach God through grace…. Legalism teaches that we obey God out of obligation; grace teaches we obey out of love…. Legalism urges us to act right and grace enables us to be right.” As I got into the scripture reading I came to Gal. 2:20 which says: “I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” 

As I was reading all of this I kept thinking how nice it is but was quickly believing exactly what I always do about these promises–they are nice for you and they are nice for me but….  As this happened, God immediately brought to mind the previous lesson from our recovery class.  The lesson taught about “deadness”.  It stated that when we are abused our spirit dies to feelings.  Eventually for me, I began to believe what my dad said and that my value as a man wasn’t much or my brother wouldn’t be attracted to me.  So, I had to do a lot of good work to be valuable.  Today, God wanted that lie buried at His Son’s Cross once and for all.  As I read the scripture Gal. 2:20 I saw the word “loved”.  Christ loved me—that’s the reason He gave himself for me.  God said to me at that moment, “love equals value”.  We don’t love what we don’t value–it is quite opposite.  Now it is time for me to believe. 

The amazing thing for me as I was reading all of this and pondering it, I felt a stirring deep within me.  It was no longer a stirring of fighting this off with old lies, but a stirring of believing it is actually true.  I’ve never known that stirring.  When anyone said they loved me I would quickly thank them but in my mind I’d put it in a nice box knowing they just don’t know me well enough or they’d change that statement.  God buried that lie this morning at the Cross.  I am a new creation able to love and to be loved.  I take this by FAITH, yes, but with the faith I also believe.  Wow!  This is overwhelming to me but I know it is true.  It is the sweetest Valentine I could receive!  Thank you Father!

I’m glad to have today.  It is going to be Valentines Day one day ahead.  Yes, I do have work to do but I get to do it in a more relaxed state.  Relaxed for me means I don’t have an alarm set to be sure I’m up by 5:00 am.  I get to sleep as long as I want–6:30 am!

Yesterday I had some exciting news.  The grants I spent the entire first semester of the year doing were approved in full.  The word came while I was at the high school.  Both emails came simultaneously.  I knew I had been somewhat anxious about them but little did I know how much until I saw, “Congratulations” at the top of each email.  I knew it was inappropriate to kiss the principal, business manager, superintendent, so we smiled and said, “Wow, that is a relief!”

Last night’s recovery class was interesting.  I had written we were addressing isolation.  It was good for me to hear one of the men say this lesson was much easier for him while another said the lesson was tough for him.  It simply taught me that the effects of abuse take different routes in rooting itself in our belief system and emotional system.  In talking through this we all agreed that the previous lessons dealing with powerlessness, darkness, and shame were helpful in digging out the roots of isolation.  The one man who struggled more with this is very introverted so isolation is something he struggles with anway. 

Today I’m going to meet with our pastor who oversees the recovery ministry work.  I want to talk about the coming year.  We are halfway through this year’s work and I’d like to know how to plan as we move forward.  Only God can put a timeline of healing together for his children.  I don’t want our (man’s) timeline to be outside of God’s.  This has been an awakening for me learning to stay in touch with God and letting Him take charge of His Kingdom’s Work through the involvement of man. 

Somehow I just want to stay home today but the work of the school district is scheduled for today rather than tomorrow and the work of Thursday is set for tomorrow simply because Thursday is Valentines Day and school business takes a back seat to the disruption a day like this gives a school. Don’t misunderstand me, I do enjoy the party days at school, but I sure know that trying to have a meaningful conversation about a lesson taught or anything along this line is quickly disrupted by ….

The lesson we are doing tonight with our Recovery Class is actually somewhat of a reprieve from the ones of late. Its title is Isolation. I do relate to the topic but when doing the assignments of the lesson I found the roots of its ownership in me are missing. I remember well the isolation I’ve felt, but so much of it is now gone. I know more comes out when we have our class and we talk openly about the topic, but it felt good to do one of these lessons to find it being so much less threatening. I think this is a good example of God’s continued healing. I sure Praise God for this! Now on with this day.

I had quite the awakening just now.  I awoke the computer to do today’s blog to find yesterday’s entry still on the screen.  I quickly looked on my phone to find I’d never hit the publish button!  My apologies.  I knew I had a lot going yesterday and I guess hitting the publish button was just one too many things to remember.  Is this another sign of age???

Many times I’ve written about God telling me to begin journaling to Him a couple years back.  More of late I’ve kept wondering why I haven’t felt nudged to switch from God to Jesus or The Holy Spirit.  It seems to make sense to me God would want me strengthening the relationship with them too.  However, the nudge just doesn’t happen.  The last few days I think I’m understanding why. 

Over the last 20+ years I’ve heard a few preachers and other spiritual leaders talk about God the Father as DAD.  I always thought that was a huge watered-down version of God the Father.  However, of late, with all that God has been doing to strengthen our relationship, I’ve felt like I’m journaling with DAD the FATHER.  I’m finding that God as Dad is completing the intimacy side of God.  A good father wants to have his family well cared for and well instructed and ready for life.  The dad side of a good father also wants his family to know they are loved and supported.  This is the side of God I’m seeing of late.  There seems to be no detail of life He is not wanting to be a part of.  I know this is what God is wanting me to know about Him and me.  How much I love finding out about intimacy with Him. 

Lastly, my mom’s birthday is today.  She has been gone for 20 years as of 2019 but her legacy will continue to live on through the intimacy and care she gave her family.  How I thank God for her. 

Today is the day of worship.  I need to remember this. I’m on worship team this morning, we have a practice following service for a presentation our Celebrate Recovery group is doing next Sunday for both worship services, our CR leadership meeting follows the practice and our group is singing this afternoon for another venue doing the same program we did last night.  God kept reminding me this morning that I need to let all of this go and focus on Him.  As I write this I realize all that is going on will only look like “doing things” which is where I live.  Instead God is asking me to “be” a worshipful servant today.  The “being” is “doing”.  I want all involved to see God today, not the doer.  I surrender all of this Father.  It is YOUR DAY.   

Today our quartet joined by some other singers in our church are putting on a program for a group of people. A lady in our church who is now a widow hosts these events in her “barn” which she converted into an “event center”. The theme is Valentines of course and the songs are divided into goofy love songs in the beginning and turning to a theme of God’s Love for man in the second half. There will be 200 people present. This hostess feeds everyone a wonderful, festive meal along with the program. It is her way of giving back for what God has done for her. My heart is burdened knowing there will be people present needing to know God loves them or still loves them. God has reminded me to simply do my part and He will take care of His children.

Last night I had a date with my oldest daughter going to dinner together. It was a very nice 2 hour time where we were able to talk openly with one another. I truly thank God for this time. While we were there my sis in California called. I know something is troubling her as she never calls just to chat. We will connect this morning.

God is wanting me to know that more than anything He is a God of Love and Relationship. He keeps emphasizing my need to remember this for today. It seems like He is wanting me to quit the stewing about details which include me and focus on sharing this important theme of His Love and Relationship. This I want to do. How loving and caring our God is.