Have you ever wished for God’s Mighty Hand to perform a miracle just for you to know once and for all, He loves you? It may seem odd to read this, but for me the writer, it is true. I don’t know if all man needs to have some personal encounter other than salvation with God to anchor God’s Almighty Self in him, but I’ve yearned for this off and on throughout life. The yearning for this is directly tied to an emotional need I carry. Satan often tries to get me to believe I’m not important to God or else He’d have stepped in to my childhood and stopped the behaviors of my brother and my dad. He would have created me differently so I’d not have been singled out. So much of this lie has been replaced for me and most of the time I do not struggle any longer with it . However, truth be known, in my weakness (my flesh) there are times I do hear Satan’s lie and stay there for a moment.

Today I asked God about this. His response was immediate. He told me to look for His Glory to validate His Love for me. Instantly I felt this flood of love and grace come over me. I don’t know if a new creation like each of us believers is ever gets to a place where doubt is totally removed. But, until then, I will look for God’s Glory. In so many ways I already see it. The seeds in my greenhouse which sprout and grow do this for me. The spring flowers which bloom outside my window are a constant reminder of God’s Glory. The grandkids God has blessed me with are a steady stream of joy for me. God’s Glory is all around me (us) once we take our eyes off of self and onto God. I’m so thankful for His reminder today.

“The blood that Jesus shed for me, way back at Calvary; the blood that gives me strength from day to day will never lose it power! It reaches to the highest mountain, it flows to the lowest valley. The blood that gives me strength from day to day will never lose its power!” It soothes and calms my doubts and fears and it dries all my tears. The blood that gives me strength from day to day will never lose its power.” The words of this song were brought to my mind this morning as I was having my devotions.

I’m reading in Leviticus presently. Once again I am being awakened to new truths relevant for me today that I’ve not experienced before. I’ve always read these books out of sheer discipline because they are part of God’s Word. Today, they are not just words in the Bible, they are Life in the Bible. Moses is writing all about the blood sacrifices which are to be offered for various reasons by the children of Israel. I used to get overwhelmed with all of this thinking I’d soon forget some element of sacrifice and find myself “in sin” again. In my bible, Joyce Meyer brings out a clarifying piece when she reminds the reader that these sacrifices are what Jesus replaced on the Cross of Calvary. More than that, it is the relevance of blood–the blood sacrifice. Blood is what carries life throughout us and throughout all living creatures. It is what God originally breathed the breath of life into.

As I began to journal this morning I felt God telling me to put my pen down and to look up to Him. When I did this the words of the song above came to my mind. It was the reminder for me that today I am no longer to try and achieve the goodness of God. He wants me to be His goodness as I go into the day. My sins are cleansed and I am set free. Praise God!

One of the things I’m beginning to recognize about being a spiritual man (new creation) is that one can’t live as a spiritual being until he recognizes his flesh. I am starting to notice just how much I’ve been in denial to my flesh throughout my life. This morning while journaling more about this with God I began to awaken to this truth. In reality, the only thing that separates me from my dad or from my brother is choice. My dad and my brother were both men of flesh. I am too. I’ve lived to not be like them. My flawed thinking had me striving to be a better man–better flesh than they. However, flesh is flesh. It is not better than or less than, it is flesh, and flesh is prey to sin. The choices my dad and my brother made based on their flesh are what separate them from me or anyone else.

I am truly seeing my flesh. It seems God is helping me become awake to this and in so doing I can then better understand my spirit and His Holy Spirit. When I first awaken in the morning I have two desires: grab my coffee and then my bible. My spirit is already awake and drawn to God and wants to commune with Him. This morning I began to realize that the coffee does nothing for my spirit, it awakens my flesh–my mind. By the end of my devotional time my mind is wanting to take over and get to all the things it wants to take charge of. I’m not saying my mind is bad, but I am saying it is selfish and wants to complete what it wants. God is showing me that my mind is to respond to His Spirit’s leadership. As it awakens each morning, it doesn’t move onto the throne of my life replacing Christ, yet, if I am not careful, that is exactly what I’m letting it do.

The other thing tied to all of this is that as the day progresses, my flesh tires. However, when it tires it doesn’t allow my spirit to take over. It becomes more and more selfish. It wants to gratify itself. Some of us do this in different ways but any that are displeasing to God are sin. I’ve been needing this time of awakening. My flesh is where sin resides and now that I see this so clearly I WANT God’s Holy Spirit in charge 24/7!

Well, yesterday’s message about my journey is still mightily at work. If I, man, could live in spirit rather than in flesh, I wouldn’t need things like forgiveness. Forgiveness is a saving grace which God offers us through His Spirit due to us living in flesh. I’m beginning to see just how ugly living in the flesh truly is. Many of us do pretty well camouflaging our selfishness as we live each day, but it does show up anyway. I know we have little resistance to flesh within ourselves. I know this well. However, what I’m wanting to learn a lot more about is the strength behind surrender. When we turn from temptation and surrender it I know God’s Holy Spirit is there to take it. My only strength needed is to turn. This much I know. What I want to know is how I stay in surrender mode once I’ve turned allowing the strength of The Holy Spirit to conquer? There is much more I need to learn but this is the present lesson I’m addressing.

Yesterday I went to a retirement party for a principal I admired greatly and worked with my last 10 years while with the school district. She was the one principal I truly admired. She knew how to listen and respond to God’s spirit within her. Today, I go to a college graduation party for a student who was one of the most struggling boys I ever experienced in my career. His story ought to be a movie someday. He is in his 30’s now graduating, but it has been through sheer strength from God that he didn’t fall into the same pattern of living modeled for him by parents, grandparents, siblings and so many relatives. He had many advocates throughout his life in the school setting. He says this was what saved him–we believed in him. Today is a celebration of this. God is amazing and seeing this today is one more great example!

Yesterday I said I was leaving the message about forgiveness until today because I needed to get my grandkids and take them to their schools. That was my flesh speaking and my flesh assignment at the moment. It was true but my mind thought that during the day and last night while teaching the lesson on forgiveness, God would show me some things about forgiveness I needed to address. Little did I know what that was going to be.

The lesson does focus on our need to accept God’s forgiveness for our sins, our forgiveness of others who have harmed us and ask forgiveness where we have harmed, and lastly, forgive ourselves. Where the lesson emphasizes forgiving others it brings out neglect as part of abuse. I’d taught this lesson before. The part I’ve dealt with of late regarding mom’s neglect of addressing me regarding my bother’s sexual abuse or dad’s physical/emotional abuse was left unattended. I’ve dealt with this of late. So I wanted to teach the group that they needed to be sure and not have this hanging in their own lives. My mind thought this must be what God wanted me to do with the lesson.

This morning I was bringing all of this to God in my journaling wondering if there was something missing? A couple of important things were brought to my attention. I have been rather irritable of late with all the “out of my control” things happening with the remodel of my daughter’s home, some things in our own home and my means of dealing with them. I had turned to “barking” at people or being silent since I really don’t like “barking”. As I was journaling on this God showed me I’d learned this behavior with my dad. I hated how he did a lot of things while I was growing up so I resorted to silence with him because I could never “bark” at him even though my whole body screamed its desire to do so. As I asked God about this He said to ask His Holy Spirit and so I did. It seemed The Holy Spirit was happy to respond. He indicated that my body’s response to all this chaos is my flesh. To be the spiritual man God’s new creation has me to be, I must surrender this character defect I learned so long ago. I can bring these frustrations to Him–The Holy Spirit and let Him lead me through chaos knowing I don’t need to take charge–He wants that job.

This makes so much sense to me and I’m ready to do this. I feel like a man learning an entirely new means of responding. I’m sure I’ll flub up but I want to stay on this track of becoming God’s spiritual servant. For, when I respond to life as I’ve been, this is when forgiveness enters the picture, I have to seek forgiveness by apologizing for my behaviors. When I respond through God’s Holy Spirit’s leadership, Godliness is seen rather than flesh.

Today is my oldest grandson’s birthday. He is 22. How times goes by!

Tonight I teach the Celebrate Recovery lesson entitled “Forgiveness”. God has really been speaking to me about this lesson. This past year has been one where God has taught me a great deal about forgiveness, seeing what needs to be forgiven and then letting go of all the bondage. I’m on my way to take my grandkids to their schools. My daughter hurt her back and is practically bedridden at the moment so I’ll leave this topic until tomorrow.

This morning I sense a heaviness I can choose to carry throughout the day or I can give it to God Almighty and let Him carry it. I just finished journaling to God about the details of this weight. It is amazing to sit here at my computer and write “God Almighty” and then wonder why I’d even think of carrying this weight around when I am Earnie the human who struggles with his own burdens, when God has given me the option of letting Him carry the burden when He is ALMIGHTY? How crazy we humans are–I am!

Yesterday was a day of seeing and hearing clearly the burdens around me. I didn’t work yesterday but the entire day seemed to be filled with being needed to hear or see the burdens of others. Some of them I can turn over immediately but others are those I want to address. They are too close to home. God continues to remind me that when man interferes with His Work, it is man who is seen and not God. If God is to be seen and responded to, man has to let God shed His Light into darkness. Man can then choose to follow the Light of God. I want God to been the One seen so I will step away and surrender today.

Yes, the journey does continue. I’m not working away from home today so was going to sleep a little longer than normal–I thought. However, when I did awake I knew I had some things I needed to hear from God. I didn’t know what they were but I was sensing a bondage of sorts. As I began my devotional time I started to see myself and what God was wanting me to now know.

In my scripture reading I’m in Exodus and Moses was on the mountain receiving the Ten Commandments and all the directions he was to share with the Israelites. While he was there the Israelites were becoming more and more unsettled with their leader gone for so many days. Aaron caves into them and builds the golden calf which they begin to worship. God tells Moses to go back as the children have quickly drifted. Moses does and out of anger shatters the stone tablets God has written. 3000 Israelites are killed due to their disobedience. I’ve read this so many times and shook my head wondering why they were so weak? Today I saw a different Earnie. I likely would have not participated in the worship and creating a golden calf but what I would have done is gone into my tent filled with fear that my leader is gone and I would have sinned privately rather than overtly.

I don’t write this to beat myself up. God is wanting me to see and know that His Ways are not flawed. Eventually He had His Son Jesus die for all of these sins of man. I’ve needed to see the severity of man’s sin which includes my own. My hidden sins are no less black than my dad’s overt ones. We stand together at the Cross of Christ. The Kingdom God is making for our eternal home is a Kingdom of choice. Dad made his choice to accept Christ into his heart. He didn’t live a life like I’d have wanted, but that wasn’t the determining factor. Today, I stand with dad–sinners saved by Grace–God’s Grace.

Our pastor often uses the phrase, “God didn’t write the Words of the Bible to make it thick. His intent is for us to learn to know Him fully through all that is in His Book.” As I’m reading through Exodus I found myself this morning wanting to fast track through the chapters outlining what the Israelites were to do in building the ark housing the ten commandment tablets, along with how they were to worship God, and much more. God was very precise in how this was to be done. All of it had to do with reverence to Him. This morning while starting to speed read I stopped and asked God what His Words were trying to teach me I’ve not learned before? Here is what happened–

As I began to journal I found myself questioning why God wanted to be so dogmatic about my revering Him? As I did this I had a flood of awakening starting to take place. I’ve known in my mind that God is worthy of all praise and reverence. Yet, in my deeply hidden emotions I’ve despised reverence. We are told to honor our father and mother. I learned to do this out of obligation but never with reverence (except with mom). I learned to do this too with God. Only this morning did I see how much I was emotionally treating God the way I treated dad. Also, tied to this was how I was treated when I may have done something worthy of praise as a kid growing up. Instead of being praised, I was criticized and belittled so that “I wouldn’t get the big-head”. I learned to stuff and be obedient.

Today God is showing me what a new creation in Him does with his Creator. Also, He is showing me that when I revere Him I am to do it with all my mind, soul, body and spirit. All of this can be done and it is never arrogant, never sin, never wrong. This is going to take some time to sink in fully, but I want to break a big character defect I’ve carried for a long time. I asked God to help this older man learn His Ways as I now read how to revere as God wants to be revered.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Yesterday was a beautiful day. It started with planting a flower bed for an elderly lady who loves flowers but can’t tend to them any longer. Then, I went to my granddaughter’s tennis match to watch her and her partner win which now sends them to state tournament next weekend. I came home and planted another row of corn and mowed the lawn. All of this being done in the prettiest spring day. God is so good!

Our one daughter is having some remodeling done on the house. It is requiring them to do some painting this weekend. She called last night overwrought with how much and how slow it is going. Kathy and I said we’d go there after church this morning to help. It is an odd way to spend Mother’s Day but it seems almost fun. The grandkids are helping a great deal with this project and very excited about it. Of course it is their rooms being done and seeing them jumping in to do much of this only makes helping them desirable. We did go out to dinner Friday night to celebrate Mother’s Day with our two daughters here so spending today this way doesn’t seem like a robbery.

In my scripture reading of late Moses is taking the Israelite’s to their promise land. On the way God is telling them He will destroy their enemies one at a time (slowly) so they can occupy the land and take care of it without being too overwhelmed. I read that this morning and realized that is just the way He handles all of our problems. He doesn’t destroy all of them at once. He takes care of them as I am ready to move into the new territory. In growing into a spiritual man God is growing my awareness of Him and just how he works. How amazing He is!