Today’s journey started as it typically does: a cup of coffee, journaling, devotional reading, bible reading and praying over prayer list. When I asked Jesus while journaling what He wanted me to know for today, I sensed my need to address what I soon knew to call my heart. I read two devotionals. The first talked about the purity of God’s Word. It is always pure no matter what twist man may want to give it. The second devotional talked about the way of purity. The author said if we don’t recognize the evil desires of our heart we can never know the purity God’s Holy Spirit wants to replace it with. Lastly, my bible reading was the closing chapters of II Samuel. David had his mighty men do a census of his kingdom. David is known to be a man after God’s heart. However, for a moment he listened to his own prideful heart wanting to know the “man strength” of his kingdom. He paid a big price for this, and he learned a powerful lesson.

I write all of this because God is wanting me to see my own prideful heart, the things I want/desire which aren’t pleasing to God and go against the purity of God’s Spirit. I have said before and I’ll write it here again, my barometer for measuring purity of heart wasn’t using scripture, it was using dad’s behaviors. I had thought I was beyond this, but this morning God politely, but solidly, showed me where this isn’t the case as of yet. I was able to use the 3-R’s to address them: Recognize, Rebuke and Replace.

I never wanted to look in this world like my dad. However, I was looking at what man saw: actions. Today I saw what God sees–a selfish heart. It wasn’t the actions, it was the heart motivating the actions that God wanted me to see today. He and I are taking care of that. How I praise Him!

The young man I mentioned a couple days ago whose wife’s words gave him a glimmer of hope, called last night and again early this morning. The message has changed from one of hope to one of no hope. Of course he is devastated. He has an interview this afternoon for a new job he hopes to get. I prayed with him that today would be a day where he would be surprised by seeing and sensing God’s presence both in him and around him. Please join me in this.

Tonight is our Christmas blessings with our Celebrate Recovery group. We annually do this and it always seems to be just what it is called–a blessing. When one is in crisis, which so many are who come to Celebrate Recovery, it is difficult to see the blessings we have. I have had those times in my life and there were those around me who helped me see the blessings I couldn’t without their help. God is wanting us to let His Light shine through us in our words and in our presence for those we know who are in their own crisis.

What a magnificent God we serve. This same God who helped us through our most difficult times is still the God who is helping His children today. An even greater blessing is that we get to join Him in this help as we allow our hurts, hang-ups and habits to no longer be secrets of shame, but instead, be tools in God’s toolbox.

Yesterday afternoon I talked with my sis Bonnie. I could hardly believe she sounded like herself. There was no weakness in her voice and she laughed as well as cried. As she cried so did I as it was such a blessing to hear her talking! How much I praise God!

One of our step study men called last night to talk about hope. He and his wife have been headed to a divorce and his wife has moved out. However, she had come over the night before and expressed some desire to work things out. We talked a lot about what “things” needed to be worked out. There has been a good deal of hurt in their few years of marriage and this is what we agreed needed to be addressed–not things. Coming this far with the step study lessons, he could see this clearly. It is amazing what a glimmer of hope does for a person. All of a sudden the phone calls which had been about loss, sorrow, complaining, etc., turned to questions about rebuilding and remaking. There was an entirely different inflection in the voice. Hope is genuinely a gift of God.

This GOD we get to serve is Amazing! Just when one can only see darkness, a LIGHT shines through and it penetrates all darkness. How blessed it is to experience this LIGHT!

Today is my little sister’s birthday. She is the baby of the family even though the baby is now 67 years old! She has had a solid walk with God throughout her life and has been a great testimony to Him for others. I love this about her!

This entry is late today. I started my devotions and had a phone call which lasted almost an hour. As I went back to my devotions I had another call which lasted almost as long as the first. Both are related to our Celebrate Recovery and needed to be addressed. My day is open so other than being late with my blog, all is good.

My sis Bonnie was moved to rehab yesterday afternoon. She has come from a severe stroke and being on a ventilator in an induced coma for 4 days, to now being ready for rehab. God is doing miraculous work with her and we are all so very grateful!

Satan and his evil followers are working overtime it seems with some of our folks. I know he is busy with his deceptive lies all the time, but it’s hitting close to home of late. It always reminds me that I am helpless to assist myself or anyone else on my own. It is only the Power of Jesus Christ which causes evil to flee. I am needing to remember this right now and to put it into today. The serenity prayer says in part, “…one day at a time, one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.” Today and at this moment I give to Jesus Christ what only He can address. Thank you Jesus for being our Savior and Lord!

Yesterday’s step study lesson was CONFESS. If you’re unfamiliar with this, the lesson is the last one before a participant tells his inventory to his sponsor. This is the place where many participants walk away. The truth telling which is brought into light at this point seems too threatening. The promises which follow one’s telling truth which scripture supports regarding finding freedom from sin’s bondage, are hard for many to believe at this point. I was right there myself for way to many years.

Our class is during the second worship hour so I had heard our pastor’s sermon ahead of class starting. I’ve not sat through a better preparatory time for Confess in my life. Even though the sermon was all about Mary and Joseph, it hit home for us. Joseph had a huge decision to make once the angel had met with him in a dream telling him Mary’s pregnancy wasn’t infidelity on her part. It was God’s greatest gift to mankind and he was to support this. So what did Joseph do? He believed and was obedient. The Hebrew term KAIROS was used to describe Joseph’s behavior. It’s meaning is: “a time when we make a choice, and in response to making the choice, the choice then makes us.”

As our lesson concluded yesterday I told the men about this message. None had been in first hour so it was new information to them. I told them they were about to make a choice to tell their inventory to their sponsor. In so doing they would be revealing the most ugly, shameful part of their life which Satan has been hanging over their heads way too long. However, in making the choice to tell, this choice then allows God to fulfill His promise to remake us. It all starts with our first choice–tell/confess. James 5:16 tells us that, “if we confess our sins one to another we will be healed.” This is the second part of KAIROS where the choice then makes us. There is no freedom from the bondage of sin until we confess, but in so doing we have the promise of becoming an entirely new creation–the very one God created us to be. I don’t want to miss out on this!

The weekend has turned into quite a challenge. Someone close to us put themselves in a situation that could easily have been fatal. We spent Friday night and much of yesterday working with the family to unravel this and to get the right help involved. Only God could put all the pieces of this unraveling together as He did. I praise Him for this too. Everyone is now safe, but, there is so much that must be done so that this does not ever repeat itself.

The weekend’s events certainly made my devotional message this morning alive. The devotional messages were all about having the faith to believe the promises of God through HIs Scripture and to give The Holy Spirit access to every part of us. Then my scripture reading was in II Samuel where David is seeking to find any family left of his dear friend Jonathan. When David finds Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s son who had been crippled since his early childhood, he was living in a poor little village with another family. David rejoices to have him sit at his royal table and to have all the privileges the king could offer him.

God is so relentless in keeping these same privileges David offered Mephibosheth, before us. In spite of our humanness and the sins of our flesh, He offers to each of us a place at His Royal Table. He has opened the door for this by the sacrificial gift Jesus Christ provided through His death on the Cross. The door is wide open to receive this gift too because Christ didn’t stay in the tomb. HE ROSE AGAIN! In so doing, the door to accept God’s invitation is wide open.

Mephibosheth didn’t think he was worthy of David’s gift (offer). Our world is filled with people who have Mephibosheth’s beliefs. I have been one of them too. This is one of Satan’s most powerful tools. Once we recognize this, it’s time to rebuke it in Christ Jesus’ Powerful Name and then replace it with the promise God has given to us–a place at His Royal Table. It is true for you, me and every other person alive because of Christ’s sacrifice. Our job? Accept Jesus Christ into our life and BELIEVE!

Bonnie is awake! Yesterday afternoon I was sent the text from her older son that they had removed the ventilator, her lungs are working almost to full capacity and there is no sedation. Even though she is mostly sleeping, it is her sleep and not the sleep of drugs. Now the doctors can begin to determine the right next steps. God is so good! There are many mountains ahead to climb for my sis, but it is so good to know she is awake.

Last night’s Celebrate Recovery lesson was ACTION. The T in the acrostic stands for Turn It Over. When we are having negative thinking, replace it with positive thinking. Turn that negative thinking over to the positive side. What does scripture tell us about the negative thinking we are having? Replace the negative with positive. As I heard this in the lesson I, for the first time, realized this is what God has been working to do with my own thinking this past couple of years. I easily believed God’s promises for others, I just couldn’t believe them for me. However, in God’s relentless love for me (each of us), He won’t quit keeping the message before me until I began to believe. It all started when I was given the 3-R’s: recognize, reject and replace. I could recognize, I could reject, but what did I replace this with? I was then given the 3-S’s: Replace with God’s promises for self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence. The action I needed to take was the action of believing. The steps I have been taking within this action of believing are the ones in the 3-R’s and the 3-S’s.

How I love God’s relentless Spirit which He has given to each of us–right within us too! What a BLESSED GOD we get to serve.

Today I get to stay home. The afternoon has 3.5 hours of meetings, but it feels good to not need to head out. My sis’s condition is not changing as of yet. She still requires the ventilator and when she opens her eyes, they do not focus. The fact that no one can be with her only worsens all of this. Somehow, hearing loved ones voices is needed to awaken the desires to fight. God is reminding me that I need to turn first and foremost to Him. He is the best One to instill a fight in my sis if He wants her fighting. All of this seems like a bigger trust than I want to have, but this is the man in me talking. In my heart I want God’s Will to be accomplished. So I keep praying for peace and for His Will to be done.

My mind frequently goes to all of the years of enjoyment I’ve had with my family never once (in the younger years) thinking what these later years would be like having to experience the passing of each one. It is such a firm reminder that our earthly life is temporary. Even though I know this, my heart hurts as I wait.

How much I love our God. What would life be like if we had to go through it without Him? Thank you GOD!

As this journey does continue, so does Satan and his evil forces. If he can make us fearful, we will succumb to it not allowing the fullness of what God wants done to be completed. I’m sure in the midst of our world crisis with the pandemic, all of us have been exposed (maybe many times) to the virus. We can be paralyzed with the fear of this or we can be as smart as possible and continue to do what God has doors opened to do. I am in a situation like this now. The school district where I spend more of my time is on the verge of deciding to go completely virtual as so many are doing. Making these decisions out of Godly wisdom rather than out of fear is the goal.

When God nudges He wants us to know He is in this. I don’t need to fear for my confidence is not in me, but in my God. If he nudges, I am to obey and even though man may think I am unwise, I choose a Wisdom, much higher than man’s. The difference is knowing God’s nudges. Today in my scripture reading, David is being blamed by his 600 followers for their dwellings being burned and their families/belongings captured and carried away. David didn’t succumb to man however, he went to God and God told him to pursue and He would be with him. David’s confidence to obey was in his trust of God and the outcome was they returned with everything taken.

God wants you and me to TRUST HIM where He has placed us. He wants us to trust His nudges and to know them. God is faithful and I choose to obey His nudges. GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!

The journey of life does continue, but what takes place in it is sometimes totally out of one’s control. My sis has suffered a stroke which has her lungs compromised and for the moment, she is on a ventilator. The extent of the stroke is unknown at this point. Wednesday or Thursday is likely when they will attempt to remove the ventilator to see what she is able to or not able to do. The journey does continue, but these happenings are certainly not what one would ever choose. The family seeks your prayers.

As I began my devotions this morning the first thing I read was titled: “Close to His Heart”. Bonnie is close to God’s heart as are her kids and grandkids. I took a picture of it and sent it to her sons. I also needed this reminder. God’s plan is sometimes difficult to handle, yet, He provides these little intimate moments to assure us He loves and cares deeply for you and me. What a blessed God we serve!