There is a song our quartet sings entitled: “He Didn’t Throw the Clay Away”. I sing the lead in it which is always a struggle for me for the words are a living testimony of my recovery. The first verse goes, Empty and broken I came back to Him a vessel unworthy and so scarred from sin. But He did not despair, He started over again and I bless the day He didn’t throw the clay away.” I have always known there was scripture supporting this song and I came right to it this morning. It is found in Jeremiah 18:1-6.

As you read on in the 18th chapter one finds that the Israelites didn’t heed the message Jeremiah delivered to them. In fact, Jeremiah was put into stocks overnight because of it. Jeremiah was telling them to turn from their selfishness and listen again to God and heed His commands so they would find blessings again. When I wrote yesterday’s blog about living fully for Jesus 24/7, I asked Jesus to show me the gods I worship selfishly. He started!

One of the things abuse “teaches” is isolation. One thinks he is all alone in his torment and Satan has a hay day with this. Jesus is truly taking me to task in this. Even though I know this I don’t always act as though I do. This morning He was addressing this with me in great detail. I am never alone–never without His Presence and His Spirit within. I truly want to be awake to Him throughout my day and night everyday. How blessed I am–we are!

Today as I journaled and asked Jesus what I am to know from Him for today, He had me write down that it’s time to start living fully for Him. No more selfishly taking moments for me when I would know my motives are not pleasing to Him. My eyes, ears, heart, mind are to be fully invested in serving Him/living for Him. And, as I responded I prayed that He would show me exactly what these gods I turn to are. I do want to live fully for Him.

My bible reading of late is in Jeremiah. God is continuously revealing to Jeremiah the “sins of Israel” and what the consequences are going to be as a result of these sins. Jeremiah’s obedience is to share all of this to them. Right in the middle of chapter 17 Joyce Meyers writes in response to Jeremiah 17:9– “We must learn to live deeper than the shallowness of our own minds, wills, and feelings. Deeper living means that we go beyond what we want, what we think, and how we feel and live by the Word of God. We must bow our knees in humility to God’s Word and His will because that is where we find true blessings.”

I had already journaled at this point what I wrote in the first paragraph. Then, reading these passages in Jeremiah and Joyce’s note, I saw more clearly what living deeper means. When I was reading in the Psalms I wrote out Psalms 138:3 because God was nudging me to take it to heart. It reads, “In the day when I called, You answered me; and You strengthened me with strength (might and inflexibility to temptations) in my inner self.” God is telling me it is time to use this Strength He offers my inner self so I can live deeper in serving Him more fully.

Today marks the 24th birthday of my oldest grandchild. He is leaving a week from today for the Air Force to prepare to work in their special forces. He is very excited and we are excited for him. Today we will celebrate him. The best thing of all is his love for God. It is so enjoyable to see a young man wanting to serve God and to call him “my grandson”.

Yesterday my second oldest grandson was coming after lunch to help me assemble the swimming pool I had ordered to replace the one our deck surrounds. It is a big chore and I’ve never been good assembling anything. I knew he was helping a neighbor so he would come as soon as that was done. I got started and the neighbor needed more help than we thought so the amazing thing was I had it almost finished by the time he arrived. There were a couple of times when I was stumped and I asked myself what Hayden would do? So, I looked at the pictures to see what I was missing but my grandson would catch. There it was! I went onto finish. When Hayden arrived I told him I figured God had him delayed so He could teach me once and for all that I can do some of these things on my own after 70 years! God and grandkids are the best!

It is nice to have a day where we do nothing but appreciate what God has done/is doing/will be doing!

Last night I had some news shared with me that quickly upset me. I am not one to get angry immediately very often, but, this did. I don’t show anger by yelling and screaming, mine is brewing. This morning I brought this brewing to God as I began to journal. If I were talking to you face to face right now instead of writing this in the blog I would likely hear you say what God told me. I asked God what He wanted me to do about this? He immediately reminded me that this was not my concern and to leave it with the ones involved. He was very capable of working with them and He didn’t need me “helping Him out”. I write this now and realize I’d likely tell someone who brought this message to me the same thing.

The problem that made me so upset hit close to home. A person was destroying stability and putting some things at risk in so doing. I wanted to go tell them to take a look at the risks they were causing. Along with God telling me to keep my nose out of this, He also reminded me that man’s view of stability was very different from His. He wanted me to shift from my quick man’s judgment to TRUST. Trust God and Trust Him working with the one involved. TRUST is a sure sign of stability in God’s Kingdom Work. The man involved in this is a believer and I had placed him outside the realm of a believer who talks with God and listens to Him.

My journey and lesson for today!

It is true that the faithfulness of God never stops. He is faithful to the end–oh that we could be so too. A Light did begin to shine yesterday relating to the difficulty being faced by some loved ones I wrote about yesterday. Praising God, trusting what one doesn’t yet see, is always the right thing to do. God is so much more than man can fathom, so remembering to TRUST and PRAISE HIM are critical elements in times of great need.

Last night our lesson in Celebrate Recovery was Forgiveness. Our large group time is growing. There are newcomers each week and there are more of them beginning to stay which I love to see. So, when we break into our share groups there are new men sharing their struggles. It was so good to hear them confess what they need to address in their lives. Vulnerability and men usually are not synonymous terms. However, there is something about Celebrate Recovery being a safe place to finally get men to say what “I’ve needed to say for a long time”. I heard much of this last night.

There was one more thing about the lesson which several of the men commented about. We may be working diligently to overcome hurts, hang-ups and habits, however sometimes we slip and fall. The lesson brought out the fact that falling doesn’t take us back to the very beginning of our journey of recovery. God is right there where we fell waiting to help us up and get us focused in the right direction once again. Most, if not all of us, struggle and sometimes give up because we can’t get past our starting place when in reality we are only at the starting place one time. Satan’s lies are what tell us we are way back at the beginning when God wants us to see with Him just how far we have come with the assurance He is always with us as we get back up, brush ourselves off and continue this journey of recovery.

There are some circumstances “close to home” which have been most troubling of late. At first I’d thought–“this too shall pass”–but it didn’t pass, it kept getting worse. I kept wanting to step in somehow and bring peace and harmony but I kept knowing it was not my place nor the time. As I began my journaling this morning I wrote to God my thoughts and my prayers along with my desire for Him to take the lead in this wondering how this could ever be possible, yet knowing nothing is impossible with God. My devotion’s title was the verse Psalms 30:5, “Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

My bible reading continues in Jeremiah where the Israelites seem to have closed ears to the warnings God has him deliver. When I knelt to pray my heart was heavy with the burden weighing heavily on it. I wanted to say, “God, You are needed right now!” However, right in the center of my prayer list in large letters is “PRAISE GOD”. I told Him I was finding this difficult at the moment, yet as I forced myself to do just what the words say–PRAISE GOD–I was reminded to TRUST. If I only look at man I only see what man is doing and it is not praise worthy in the least. BUT, as soon as I lifted my eyes and arms towards heaven I could trust and rejoice knowing even in this dark moment God is working.

I have seen God working so many, many times that I wonder why I need this constant reminder, yet as soon as I remember my own humanness I know why I do. God is faithful to the end and this dark moment will have a LIGHT shining into it, I know.

God is never done remaking, remolding, refocusing us more and more into His likeness. As I’m reading now in Jeremiah I see this so clearly. Jeremiah has been giving prophecies to the people of Judah to no avail. So, God is making it clear that bold consequences are now tied to the prophecies. In order for Jeremiah to be able to give such bold information, his life needed to reflect a clear, dedicated life to God.

I appreciated what Joyce Meyers wrote specific to this message. She tied it to God’s leading in her own life saying that God had told her Satan would try to enter through any door of temptation she left even marginally ajar. However, as her ministry progressed God made it clear that Satan would take advantage of any crack in her wall of protection she’d created with Him. We each need to do the same. Our thoughts, our motives, our actions, our words; if they are to be tools for God, must be fully in line with our living each and every day. I loved this clarity and this reminder.

God is never done remaking, remolding, refocusing us more and more into His likeness. For this I am most grateful!

Today, as I began my journaling, I didn’t think I had much to process with God. I was just going to write down what was to take place and then ask Him to lead in all of it. However, that quickly changed when God asked me to look around me, not just where I am sitting in my den, but look around me in each of the places I’d be today. He asked me if I see Him or if I only saw the tasks I am to do? His reminder to see Him turned into seeing the day as one where I get to work with Him instead of a day where I have these tasks to complete.

This lesson of today has such a solid, important outcome to it. Do I anchor my day, each day, on the solid Rock of Jesus Christ? Am I stepping into the day grounded? I often say this is the outcome of every day’s devotional time for me. However, this morning God pointed out my need to look around and see life as a chance to live serving Him rather than seeing life as chores to complete. This makes me sit up straight and be on alert. God is never not working and I don’t want to miss any part of it because my eyes are on the wrong target.

Did you ever hear the phrase, “Why would you ever want to share that? Those things you want to keep to yourself!” I cannot begin to tell you how many times I did hear that or something very close to it as I was growing up and as I got into my young adult years. Now, all these years later, the class Mending the Soul, has us doing just the opposite. The entire purpose of the class is to get each participant to share all of these dark secrets of past abuse and sins. The sole reason is that if it is shared “…one to another you will be healed.” James 5:16.

The class yesterday went deeply into one’s trust in God, one’s beliefs about who God is to them and so much more. One has to start with this area. If we don’t recognize how much we have stuffed into the walled off areas of our life regarding God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit, we will have little chance of ever finding the fullness of the healing God promises in His Word.

Going through this class for the 3rd time I am being awakened more and more to the freedom God has provided me. It is painful to hear others talk the very same messages about God’s Team (Himself, Jesus and The Holy Spirit), from their past. Yet, there is that sliver of Hope which they cling to. The first step is getting it spoken and recognize you are not alone. Hope grows in community and God is beginning this community of men “…one day at a time, one moment at a time accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.” (The Serenity Prayer)

We walked away from class yesterday having shared some of the most despairing things to one another. I reminded each one to let what was shared linger with us as we go into the week and not steel it back off as I use to do. God’s tender voice begins to speak the truths we can rely on when we continue the journey into each day. God’s emotional/spiritual surgery is painful, yet the freedom from healing is worth it all–I know!

IT’S MOTHER’S DAY! I not only thank God for my Mom who has been gone for 22 years, I thank Him for Kathy (mom of three) and for my three daughters who are mothers to my dozen grandkids. What a blessing God gave us creating Moms!

Today in our Mending the Soul class I’m going to be reading a passage Joyce Meyers wrote in the bible I read regarding Isaiah ch. 54. The 4th verse says: “Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed. For you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth….” Joyce tells a bit about her own childhood of abuse and how God has given her victory overcoming its damning effects and replaced it with a ministry to millions helping them to overcome their own pasts.

It is always amazing to me how God puts these chapters right in my lap at the right time. Last week in class we went through our timelines of our life which included all that took place causing great shame in each man present. God is never without Hope for His kids. I thank Him so much for providing the timely reinforcement. He is so GOOD!