Today I discovered a couple of items very unexpectedly. First, I came to the one chapter book of Philemon. I knew it was small and had no real expectation for the content of it. However, as soon as I began to read I remembered that Philemon was a wealthy man who had a slave named Onesimus. Onesimus had fled from his owner and encountered Paul who was in prison in Rome. Onesimus became a Christian and Paul was now in this letter asking Philemon to take Onesimus back and forgive him for fleeing. This is all pretty straight forward.

Paul, in the concluding part of the chapter, asks Philemon to prepare a room for his visit. Even though he is in prison and likely facing death, he was asking for a room when he was set free. Joyce Meyer brings out two things from this which I’ve always missed. First, she points out that in Paul’s waiting for freedom he was waiting with expectation and asking for preparations. She asks the question, “How do we wait?” Do we wait with expectation and hope? I loved this. Secondly, she points out that wait also isn’t a state of being verb. The Amplified Bible adds additional words to “wait” indicating the action of waiting. Joyce points this out showing that amplified means giving additional meaning.

OK, I’ve been reading the Amplified Bible for 4 years now and only today do I awaken to the 2nd item of the morning–why it is called Amplified–it gives additional clarity. I’ve always thought that name for a Bible was odd. No longer will I think that! So, today I will wait with hope, and I will read the Amplified Bible knowing it provides more clarity which it did for me right now!

Today wraps up the little book of Titus. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve read these books Paul wrote over the past 50 years, but as I read them today I find wisdom I’ve missed until now. I wrote yesterday about my awakening to Grace. Yes, it softened my heart so I no longer judged people the way I had, but it has taken me another 40+ years to understand how to live by Grace rather than living by works. I know that one reason I have lived by works is that it is easy for me. I love work and I love being busy with worthwhile projects. What I’ve had to learn over and over again is that the works I do don’t earn me value with Jesus. I simply didn’t recognize until much more recently that the value I lacked was self-value. I was the one who needed to recognize that I was valuable just the way I am.

My prayer warrior introduced me to the 3-R’s: recognize, rebuke and replace a couple of years ago. Six to eight months later when I told her I recognized the lies which went through my head about my value to God and that I rebuked them, I just didn’t know how to use the third R–replace. What did I replace those lies with? It was then that she prayed over me and asked God to replace those lies with: self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence (what I call the 3-S’s).

I now know I work because God inspired within me a love to do so. No longer do I work to earn. Yes, I am still addressing the 3-S’s. I know now that to love and appreciate myself is not arrogance as my dad continually yelled at me. It is the 3rd S–self-confidence. I have to remind myself of this fairly often as those voices try to sway me back to old habits of belief. The beauty of the 3-S’s for me has been being at peace with myself. God has been so patient getting me to this state of being. How I love Him for this patience!

Today’s Bible reading was the beginning of Titus. My word, it is a great little book of directions for living life just like Jesus wants us to. I was impressed with something Joyce Meyer wrote giving her thoughts about how Christians should live out our Christianity each and every day. Her added statement was: “Remember that good works and holiness for the sake of good works and holiness will result in legalism. But, when these endeavors are led and empowered by the Holy Spirit they will bring life to you and to others.”

This statement stood out to me for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, it defines the hypocrite who is good at knowing the “law” and giving it to you and then living their own way. I grew up with this in my father. But, what hit me closer to home was what was said to me personally after I’d gone through my divorce. A couple of the teachers who had taught with me the 7 years ahead of becoming principal, told me one afternoon that they wanted me to know my divorce had made me a better person. I didn’t know what they meant at first but they went on to say that it had softened my heart towards others who struggled with life.

I never wanted to be judgmental as a person, but I had been. I was one of those who did good works so I could be seen as “good”. Little did I know what I looked like on the outside. God used my divorce to teach me/soften me to see that works for the sake of works is not what Grace is at all. He wanted me to know even then at 29 years of age, Grace saved me, not works. I’ve had to walk this road a long time to much more fully understand GRACE. It is one of God’s most gracious gifts and how grateful I am to be included in receiving it!

Today is my youngest sis’s birthday. It is so odd to think that the baby of the Lewis’ family is as old as she is! In my mind I still see us as the little ones on the farm and Polly being our water girl. She was suppose to bring water to us in the beet field while we were hoeing weeds but she’d forget and we’d try to yell loud enough to get her attention. Those were days to remember, but not relive! Today Polly is a warrior for Christ and our family loves her for this. God bless you Polly!

I finished today the books of Timothy Paul had written. These days we now live in are quite a good example of what Paul calls the last days. I don’t dwell on this, but the reality seems very true. Being bold to communicate the message of Jesus Christ to everyone around us is the clear message. Never give up hope and keep our eyes focused on Jesus alone. His Word–the Bible–needs to be our one and only true guide for living today.

This morning I began reading the small book of II Timothy. In the first couple of chapters Paul is addressing some insecurities Timothy is facing. One of them is fear. I sat right up when I read this for fear is something I’ve dealt with all of my life. Fear has manifested itself for me as looking like incapable, unworthy, less than, etc. Joyce Meyer writes a clip addressing this topic which also stood out to me. She writes, “Fear is a spirit that produces physical and emotional symptoms….” The part that hit with Light is the first 4 words–Fear is a spirit.

As I began to take a look at fear instead of simply trying to stuff fear, I began to see fear as the deception it is. Satan has used fear in my life to try and keep me from being the new creation God wants me to be. This is not just true for me but for everyone of us who struggle with this debilitating spirit. As soon as I recognized this I was able to use the 3-R’s, recognize it, reject it and then replace it. We are even told in scripture that God gives us the fruits of the Spirit, none of which resemble fear.

I loved reading this message today. I want to keep it close to my heart and recognize it every time it wants to show its ugly self. Our God is so GOOD!

Yesterday was one of those unusually gratifying days. Church service was excellent and then I had arranged to take one of my grandson’s shopping. There were a couple of gift items he wanted to get and he was going to help me complete what I needed to find for the other grandsons. I had prayed yesterday morning that the time would be extra meaningful with this grandson. He is a senior this year and will be graduating so I know our times like this are few. As it turned out, not only did we find what we needed, there were a couple of times when Christ was the forefront of the conversation in such a meaningful way, he and I both got teary. I love how God works!

Today’s devotional was speaking about something that troubled me almost all of my life. It was saying that the blood of Jesus cleansed us from all our sin. It references this cleansing to a spiritual bath where the stains of sin are all washed away. Isaiah 1:18 says: “though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be made as white as snow.”

This coming Thursday I will be teaching the lesson “Sponsor” for our Celebrate Recovery group. This lesson has been rearranged by the author so that it now follows the Action lesson. The most important action we take is that of asking Jesus into our hearts so that “our sins are washed away”. This is especially important to me because I lived my life never knowing (believing) that the sins done to me from sexual abuse were “washed away”. They weren’t washed away–they were there haunting me every single day and often throughout the day. The older I got the more haunting these memories were. Nothing was washed away–I thought. I look back at these years and now know why having a sponsor in my life would have been so helpful.

My brother’s sins were not mine, yet I didn’t know how to be cleansed of the thoughts/memories. Because I didn’t talk about it with anyone, I never had help understanding this until I went to counseling/therapy. That helped, but it wasn’t until my prayer warrior prayed the 3-R’s over me: Recognize, Reject and Replace, that I was able to then replace these lies with what I call the 3-S’s: Self-love, Self-appreciation and Self-Confidence. A prayer warrior is part of what a good sponsor is for each one. I appreciated having this clarity given this morning as I prepare for Thursday’s lesson. God is so GOOD!

I was a little concerned how this weekend was going to work itself out. There were several tasks needing to be done and all at the same time or same day–I thought. Well, as only God would arrange, it has come together in such a way that nothing is piled on top of the other. I did nothing to make this happen except to watch it unfold. I wrote in my journal this morning thanking God for being so concerned with details. These are all good deeds and God obviously thought so too. Praise His Name!

First and second Thessalonians are small but powerful books filled with different wisdom than I’ve ever remembered. Paul is driving home the message of maturing in our walk with God. He seems to be focusing on the teaching that we are to grow beyond doing what we do out of feelings. The driver of what we do for God has to be done from decisions made with God. If we allow our feelings to be the motivation to persevere we will likely give up way early rather than stay the course knowing God will complete His Work in spite of our ups and downs. I appreciated what Joyce Meyer wrote in regards to II Thessalonians 3:13–“And as for you brethren, do not become weary or lose heart in doing right.” She adds, “One sign of spiritual maturity is the ability to live beyond our feelings. People who are spiritually mature live by decisions made based on God’s Word, not on how they feel.”

I love reading what Paul is teaching. Here he is, the Pharisee who was imprisoning the new Christians to now teaching them how to become more mature in their walk with God. God’s mighty work in Paul’s life is the same work He is wanting to do in mine and ours. I want to always be a good student.

As I began journaling this morning I couldn’t keep from reflecting on the Light God is shedding on the topic of servant. The reality that I don’t take God with me, He is already present and I join Him, is a real switch in thinking I don’t want to lose sight of. This morning I was more focused on the topic of being God’s servant when I’m not out working with schools or at church working with ministries. If I’m home what is it like to be a servant here? As I asked the question when journaling the word selfishness immediately came to mind.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve said that when I have a day at home it is my time to be selfish doing only what I want to get done or simply just enjoy the time reading a book, watching a favorite program, etc. What God was bringing to mind was when selfish is sinful. It is one thing to focus on self when self needs time to relax and reflect, take it easy. It is another thing to give in to selfish desires which I already know this would be sinful and unhealthy. Each one of us knows what these are for ourselves and this is what God was pointing out to me.

God is nothing but LIGHT shed into darkness. I am seeing some darkness in my life I’ve needed to see. I thank God for helping me to not only see this but to offer His Strength in stepping away from selfishness that leads to sin.