I was giving blood yesterday early afternoon for a blood drive our church sponsors every 3 months. When I’d finished and went to the refreshment table, a lady from our congregation was present. She and I began a conversation which led to her telling me about her grandson, 23 years old, who has announced his homosexuality. I was teaching his parents Sunday School class when this young man was born. Grandma was telling me how she and her husband have struggled with this but they don’t want to lose their relationship with him so they are seeking wisdom in dealing with it. Grandpa wants the grandson to understand all that the bible says regarding this topic, but grandma knows this isn’t the right thing to do at this point in time.

Our society has made this topic a playground for Satan. There is no dispute biblically regarding this topic if one steps into the sin of it. However, it is no more sinful to step into the sins of heterosexuality than the sins of homosexuality. Either are sinful when this is done. With my own background of homosexual abuse and my struggle with homosexual thoughts, I easily recognize this inner turmoil. What I long for people to know is that God’s Ways are so much richer than man’s. We are lost at this point in time thinking man’s ways need to be honored when we don’t begin to experience God’s fulfilling freedom by taking the step of faith and living for His Ways rather than man’s.

I know this freedom and how I pray for others who battle this. I pray they will take the step of faith to trust God’s Way and let Him honor them for this obedience.

For the past 6 months I’ve been driving weekly to a town 25 minutes away meeting with a gentleman who had had a nervous breakdown. God has used that event to show him it was safe and good to open the door to secrets of childhood abuse he had buried for 70 years thinking he was somehow protecting himself. It is amazing how God takes a broken individual and over time brings out the actual gifts He gave him so many years ago. It is so easy today to see humor, kindness and gentleness naturally coming forth as well as wisdom and thinking skills. Prior to this time he had lived in a shell where these characteristics were almost nonexistent.

I remember when my counselor told me I would know when I no longer needed counseling because I’d be able to use the techniques I’d learned to address what life was giving me in the present. I could do this on my own without the assistance of the counselor. I see this happening for this gentleman and it is a joy to watch. God is so AMAZING!

God is so GOOD! One of the other counselors is able to see the family I wrote about yesterday. God knows best!

Two weeks ago I had started a group for men struggling with sexual addiction or pornography. There was a young man who wanted to join it but in both of the first two sessions he kept having excuses/reasons he couldn’t attend. He had indicated his interest, but…. After the second absence I told him he’d need to wait until we did a session again since it is only a 6 week group. Last Sunday I got a text from him asking to please reconsider. He’d meet me this week whenever I had the time. He had the week off.

Yesterday we met for two hours and it was so informative. He knew intuitively that he needed the group, but as for most men, he just couldn’t bring himself to admit the need. The two hours were very helpful for him to see that the course didn’t add to his shame, but actually turned the “shame” he felt into a learning time where he could get accountability and support and find God’s healing and help.

I love watching how God works with each of us. I wonder why I get concerned and worry about these things? It is then that Jesus reminds me I’m still of the flesh and He is the One He wants me relying on–not myself. Boy, I sure have to have this lesson a LOT of times!

There are moments when a person wants to run rather than stay put and face what has been asked. A family I’ve known for several years has a daughter in her freshman year of college. Last Sunday they drove her back to her university following her Spring Break. She and her best friend went for a drive and was hit head-on killing her best friend and the driver of the other vehicle. The parents returned to the university and brought their daughter home with them yesterday. This morning when I awoke I found a message on my phone requesting counseling assistance for a couple of weeks before she returns to the university. I told them we can see them as soon as tomorrow, but that will likely be me.

There are a lot of helps on the counseling website I have, but I would want someone else to use them fearing I’d not do this well. When I journaled to Jesus this morning He reminded me that He is the Ultimate Counselor and I would be a support for Him. Whether one of the other counselors can take this, I don’t know at this point. But, what I do know is that if I take it, Jesus with The Holy Spirit will be the real Counselor.

I would never want to make something as tragic as this about me. It is truly about the Strength and Love of Jesus Christ and helping them mourn finding Christ’s Help in the process.

There have been several times in the last few years where I’ve been nudged to work on making Jesus my priority all day every day. I know this should be my daily focus. It is each morning but as the day begins it is so easy for me to get lost in how “Earnie does things” rather than how God wants Earnie to do his things.

I don’t usually get calls on Sunday from anyone pertaining to counsel or help. Yesterday, however, there were two. Ordinarily, if I get a call I’d let them leave a message so I could see how significant the need is. However, this time I was nudged to simply answer when each called. I was so glad I did for I don’t think either would have taken time to leave a message. They were urgent needs. When I saw their names pop up on my phone I was instantly reminded to “keep Jesus as my focus” and that was the sole reason I answered.

When God nudges He doesn’t intend for us to take it as a suggestion. I’ve lived this way far too long–taking these nudges as suggestions. It is a habit I don’t want to continue. In each case yesterday I was deeply thanked for picking up. God wants to include us in His Work and all we have to do is “pick up”.

Yesterday’s class went very well. I am very wired to be concerned about details being in place, yet God is very much in control and I am so often reminded to lean on Him, not myself. I always intend to do this, but my nature this way is much stronger than I’d ever want it to be.

Today I am simply aware that I am not in control of life, nor do I want to be. Instead, I want Jesus to be in control of me and all that is within me. My identity resides in the fact that His Holy Spirit resides in me and I want Him to be my constant Guide. How loving and merciful our Savior and Lord–Jesus Christ is!

This morning’s class was weighing on me as I got up. A couple of the men who had committed to it were backing away; one due to a new job and the other, well, excuses. I leave this to Jesus and His Holy Spirit. This part wasn’t troubling me as much as having everything ready for the 90 min. session when I had a counseling session occurring right before it. As I was starting my devotional time I received a text that the man coming for the counseling session needed to cancel. Usually I’m not glad for this, but today I thanked God. Now I have the time to be fully set up. The session involves a DVD portion and I am NOT a techy person–I am a worrier however when it comes to this kind of detail, so having this time helps me relax!

I am so grateful for our God. There is no detail He isn’t concerned about and ready to address it as I give them to Him. It is moments like this morning that once again I remember that my role is to complete only my part, Jesus already has His part under control!

Last night I received a prayer request. Someone I know well is needing to take a long drive today for their work and they will be accompanied with two other individuals, one of which who is struggling with some serious life choices. I have known of this person’s struggles for a while now and have been praying for them to see their choices through the Light of Jesus.

This morning’s devotional seemed to be written just for today’s journey. It said in part, “When we give our lives to the Lord, we join ourselves to him. We are made one in his Spirit, united in his mercy…. Our bodies are the sacred temple of the Spirit, as Paul goes on to say in I Corinthians 6:19. You don’t belong to yourself any longer, for the Holy Spirit lives inside of your sanctuary.”

Today I pray for this reality to be seen in such a way that making any choice to turn away from the Spirit’s purity would be cast aside for what it is–sin. All of us have needed to come to this reality at some point in our lives and for many we’ve had to come to this point several times in our lives. I pray this will be true today for an individual as this vehicle drives to its destination.

Today is my dear sis Bonnie’s birthday. As I look back on life I can easily see that she was my personal cheerleader from first memories to today. She is right ahead of me in birth order. We talk often and she always reminds me of strengths I possess. She struggles with life today due to some serious strokes, but her spirit is alive and well. What a blessing she is to all who know her!

Last night the step study group I put together from men coming for counseling met and we did the first lesson–DENIAL. There are only three men in the group so we were able to go deeply into the questions and their responses to them. I was amazed at the level of honesty and vulnerability that was present with them. One of the three said he struggles with trust, but that wasn’t evident at all.

One of the questions in the lesson centers around the reason we need to face what has been in denial for us. My own response to this was my need to remember how easy it is to push my past behind me and try living as though it didn’t exist. I’m much better today at facing this, but things like writing this blog daily also help me live in the present.

As I was journaling this morning and asking Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, His response was immediate. He said the hurts, hang-ups and habits I’ve struggled with over the years no longer need to be considered my weaknesses. Two gifts God has given me are responsibility and discipline. What has always been considered my weaknesses are now placed in my category of strengths. This is where God’s Strengths reside in me. So, when I see my past through the lens of discipline and responsibility, I know God and I can handle them for God’s Strength in me is much stronger than any grip the weaknesses have had.

I’d never seen my past through this lens. It makes me smile to see them this way today!

Today in my scripture reading Moses goes to Mt. Nebo where he dies. God buries him after He showed him all of the land the Israelites will be claiming as they cross the Jordan River. The scripture says the children of Israel mourned for 30 days. Moses had been in charge of these people for the past 40 years once they’d left Egypt. Now he is gone and their new leader is Joshua. Moses had anointed him in front of the Israelites and God’s wisdom was given to Joshua.

Reading this, I began to ponder the level of excitement and anxiety the Israelites must have had with Moses dying and now they go into the land God is giving them with their new leader. It made me think about my stepping away from 50 years working in education to start counseling. I knew this was something God wanted me to do, (He had made that clear for me), but it didn’t remove the anxiousness I kept experiencing. We know the Israelites go into the new land and conquer one after another. God kept showing them He keeps His promises.

This has been true for me over and over as I’ve taken this new step. Even though it has only been 8 months since we started the counseling program, the benefits from it are already being seen (by those coming and by myself as I’ve gained so much new learning). The anxiety I had is being replaced with assurance. Yes, I still feel a level of concern each time I meet with someone new, but God’s Spirit always provides.

New steps in life can make us anxious, but keeping the God we serve upfront in our hearts and mind will overcome any anxiousness of flesh and the deceptions Satan wants us to believe.