I stand corrected! Actually, I’m sitting. What I wrote a couple days ago about James and his coming to believe his half-brother Jesus was the Savior of the world and the Son of God, is not correct. I did some more research on this to find that James was present when Jesus revealed himself to the disciples after his resurrection. He was also present when The Holy Spirit came upon Christ’s followers in the upper room. James did have his own experience like Paul did. I just hadn’t looked into this enough to see it. Finding one’s errors is always a part of one’s journey.

Last night in one of the counseling sessions a gentleman was seeking help with his self-esteem. One of the questions asked was what his children said about him? After some prodding, one of the things he said was that he was a good example of being a follower of God and his kids today were believers because of this example.

There are so many lies we believe about ourselves planted and fed by Satan and our flesh. These lies try to annihilate our value to God and the truth that scripture says about how God created us to be. We talked about this and I was asked when I believed these truths to be true for me and how long did it take to believe them? Unfortunately, I had to say it took 10+ years. It all started by first recognizing that what I had believed about myself were lies. Only then could I start believing any truth. That seed of truth about his value was planted last night. It will be fun to watch it grow as The Holy Spirit works.

Last night our step study group of men did the chapter on GRATITUDE and started into the next lesson which is GIVE. We will end this study next Tuesday. It was awakening once again to go through this lesson on Gratitude. We have addressed all of one’s areas of need by now which has focused each member of the group on all of their negative behaviors, beliefs, lies, hurts, hang-ups and habits. We have not only addressed them, but built plans to step out of them and maintain staying out. So, now it is time to be grateful.

As I started my devotions this morning, wouldn’t you know that the topic of my devotional is: Praise Opens the Door. A quote from it says: “Faith and complaining cannot live together…. You will either have great faith and gratitude, or you will have great doubt and complaining. Choose to praise and watch as your faith increases.” This really hit home for me. Last night I was helping the men see the critical importance of gratitude now that they have so much more freedom in their living. This morning God was wanting me to apply this same practice to my beliefs in starting our counseling program. I continuously have doubts wanting to attack my mind and emotions. That fact that we only have 3 new cases who have reached out for help makes me want to think there is something wrong. Well, God is pointing out that “the something wrong” is reacting to these thoughts as truths rather than simply man’s response to addressing each one’s deep need/s. Allow time for God’s Spirit to work in the heart of his people. This was true 15 years ago when we started Celebrate Recovery. Now 15 years later there is never a question about its worthwhileness.

My scripture reading is James and he starts his book addressing our faith. God is tying all of this together. Be grateful for all He is doing and even what I cannot see that He is doing. At the same time, have faith that He has not led me astray. Let my faith be strong knowing this God I serve is continuously working. I know this well, but I want to strengthen my acting on what I know. Thank you Jesus for this great reminder!

Today began the reading of James in the New Testament. I knew he was the half brother of Jesus Christ. What I wasn’t sure about is when he accepted the fact that Christ, being his brother, was also the Son of God. It says that James didn’t accept this fact until after Christ had been crucified and had ascended into heaven. I wonder how he came to believe rather than to disbelieve? Paul had a well-described encounter with Jesus, but nothing is written to tell us about what changed James. The important thing is that James did change and he became a disciple for his own brother.

I wrote a month or so ago about telling my brothers I was going to be starting a counseling program at our church. I had all kinds of remarks going through my mind at the time which I thought I’d hear from them. Instead, however, all I heard was support which meant the world to me and still does. As I write this I don’t mean to try and compare my own story to that of Christ coming as the Savior of man, but only to compare what family support feels like.

God is so good. It is amazing to me how much freer one feels when the family gathers in full support. It is a gift that God gives and I deeply appreciate it.

There are times in our lives when sitting back and reflecting is critically important. Today is one of them. For whatever reason, when I got up this morning I had a heaviness upon me which I was unable to shake. As I sat down to begin my devotions the first word which came to mind was: PRAISE. That was the last thing I was intending to do. Yet, the hymn, It Is Well with My Soul, instantly came to mind. As I sang it in my mind the words came to life: When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea-billows roll. whatever the lot Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.

I began to praise Jesus at this point. Yes, there is a troubling situation heavy on my mind and I hadn’t seen any evidence of Christ’s work at this point. In fact, if anything, it was as though He weren’t working on it at all. With this in mind I told Jesus thank you for what He, The Holy Spirit and God were doing which I had no idea about. I know to praise God at all times, but when those sorrows like sea-billows roll, I sometimes need to be reminded that in spite of my momentary emotional state, it is well with my soul.

I wrote yesterday about God’s kindness to us. Well, this morning was another wonderful example of His kindness. Instead of scolding me for my doubtful emotions, He calmed my emotions and reminded me of His faithfulness even when I see no evidence at all. How I love Him and Praise His Holy Name!

When I was young I thought I’d need to do something powerfully great for God in order for Him to be pleased with me. Every time I’d sing for a larger group, I’d wonder if this would be enough for God to take away the ugliness hidden in me, yet haunting me at every turn. Today, I’ve come to realize that God always wanted me to confess this to Him and open up to those I trust so I could be healed as James 5:16 tells us. The word confess means “to agree” along with other synonyms like admit or saying the same thing.

When I finally needed to confess my past, I sure didn’t do it agreeing with anything. I just did it because it was haunting me for marrying Kathy when she had no idea what a filthy person she’d married. I needed to let her go so she could find a mate worthy of her. It has taken a lifetime of confessing and learning from endless lessons to know how confessing is the same as agreeing. God’s Word tells me that if I confess to someone I trust, I will be healed. In order for this to take place I not only needed to tell, I needed to agree (believe). God has taught me to trust Him fully. In so doing, I agree with Him and believe I will be healed which has begun with me now believing I am a new creation.

This message is something God wants me to pass along to His children who struggle as I have. It is a message of Grace and Mercy. I had always seen it as a huge message of discipline with severe consequences. Instead, when I finally confessed my message for the first time to Kathy it was met with love and compassion–Grace and Mercy. I thought this was only because Kathy is nice. However, over time I learned that God is also extremely nice, providing this Grace and Mercy. Wow, GOD IS GOOD!

Today’s scriptural message is FAITH. There is a message in the 11th chapter about faith that made me stop and ponder for a while. The message is that having faith is possible when one knows the faithfulness of Yahweh–God our Redeemer. In order for faith to flourish in our lives we must believe that faith is real for us. This was my stumbling block for way too long. The lies of Satan using my own dad’s voice in my head blocked this truth from taking root. This is no longer true for me and it sure doesn’t need to be true for anyone reading this if you struggle as I did.

Today’s devotional tied directly to this message and I want to write a quote from it. It’s title is, “I Want You to Dance Upon the Ashes”. It reads in part, “Beloved, the enemy hates when his plans backfire. He’d rather knock you out and keep you out, but when you walk in the highest reality of my love, nothing can hold you down forever. If you take my hand, I will lead you to the mountain peaks, where your laughter will echo into every valley that once held your dry bones. But first, we will stop and dance upon the ashes. We will sow the seeds of resurrection life into what appears dead and desolate.,,, Though you have witnessed loss and destruction, life will come forth despite it all.”

There is nothing like seeing your ugly past become fertile ground as God uses it to help others find hope for their valley of dry bones. That ugly past makes me smile right now knowing God is using it to His Honor and Glory and I get to witness it. Wow, isn’t our God simply AMAZING!

There is something amazing happening in my life I have never anticipated taking place. This morning’s devotional time put it into words I’ve not been able to articulate. Hebrews 10, in the Passion, reveals the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins, but goes well beyond this into the complete meaning of this for those of us who receive Him. In the latter part of the chapter it describes the consequences of disbelieving Jesus and scorning the Holy Spirit. Starting with verse 29, it begins to outline all of this. It has a footnote which says if we insult the Holy Spirit, “…we insult the Spirit of grace. One of the names of the Holy Spirit is ‘the Spirit of Grace.’ The Holy Spirit is the dispenser and Lord of Grace. To be filled with the Holy Spirit means that you are filled with grace (spiritual power) to live pure, holy and undefiled.)”

I’ve always known the Gift of the Holy Spirit is given to me (us) when we accept Christ into our lives. If we surrender our will to Christ, we are allowing the Holy Spirit to have greater influence. Today I received a picture of this great Gift I’ve not had before today. The Spirit of God–The Holy Spirit is also The Spirit of Grace. This Spirit is within us and allows us to know the very essence of God’s Grace within us. The loving, accepting, patient, forgiving Grace of God.

How God transforms one who thought he must die to ever be clean to becoming clean and also housing the Spirit of Grace is nothing but AMAZING! Do you know this is for you? It is true for each of us–it is!

Today is my first day to reflect on an actual counseling day where I did the counseling myself (with Jesus I want to add). It really was an eye-opening time. It was interesting to to listen to the counselee talk through his desire for counseling. The particular individual had several needs he’d like help with. The drivers seemed to fall into areas of need which impacted his belief system disenabling what he called his value. I could sure identify with this. However, I found myself wondering how to step into these needy areas for which I have some background but it isn’t in the realm of counseling. As I brought this, along with the other needs identified yesterday, to Jesus this morning, I felt Him nudging me away from needs to discover their gifts.

Satan has an ugly way of using our flesh to influence us to only see our deficiencies. We then take those deficiencies and believe they determine value. Over the past few years I’ve discovered that my own deficiencies (which were often my dad’s strengths) had deeply determined the roots of value I’ve carried for me all of my life. My measuring stick for value came from me using dad and his voice within me to determine value. Well, I walked right into a session yesterday very similar to this. I’m still not good at any of the things where my dad was good, but what I’ve become better at doing is using what God has given me, letting go of the old deficiencies, to know my strengths. My value comes from God first and foremost. This is the truth for each one of us. This is the message Jesus was telling me I need to press forward with, taking eyes off of weaknesses and discovering and appreciating the gifts God so graciously has given to each one of us.

Today is the birthday for my oldest daughter. She is almost home from driving all night taking her oldest daughter to Phoenix, AZ to complete her senior year in college. She and Faith drove there Monday along with Faith’s fiancé. It doesn’t matter what Amy, my daughter, has going on in her life, if one of her kids (and she has 6) needs her, she stops and takes the time to address it. I love this about her. What a good mom, friend, daughter she is!

Little by little the details of our counseling program come together. Yesterday I met with the other two working with me in this endeavor. They are both retired licensed counselors who have been Christians all of their adult years. Their depth of knowledge and support is so welcomed and appreciated. Each of them is donating 1.5 days to this. Later today I will have an appointment generated from the kickoff presentation Sunday morning. I still can hardly believe this is taking place, yet it is real and functioning. Wow, God is GOOD!

Last night our step study group did the lesson on RELAPSE. In this lesson we talked deeply about listening and it asks us to ponder how well we do listen. It then takes the question to listening to God and responding to the nudges we know from God’s Holy Spirit within. This morning as I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, His response was about listening. He told me that listening and probing for understanding is a very healthy start, but only a start. Listening completes itself when we take what we heard and now understand to asking what the one talking to us would like/hope would happen now that they have been heard? This piece then completes listening so we can know if in listening there is something we ought to do. It also lays the ground work so The Holy Spirit can nudge us in the direction God wants us to take with what we’ve heard. We don’t need to surmise what to do, God’s Spirit will make this clear. I love this message for it will be most helpful in coming days.

There are a number of things I have running through my mind this morning for topics to write about. One is an email I received yesterday morning from a dear lady in our church. As the counseling program was being introduced to the congregation she thought she’d understood that those who come to receive counsel might struggle with their identity in Christ. When I explained to her in a responding email that this was a common struggle, she responded that they should let that go and receive Jesus’ identity for them. I chose not to respond to that comment because I feel it needs to be a face to face conversation. I doubt this person knows the battle one faces when moving from knowing what the bible says to believing it is real for them. I know this intense struggle very well from my own background.

This reminded me of 14 years ago when we were in our first year of Celebrate Recovery’s start for our church. A lady I respect deeply was providing our dinner this night. She said to me as she was setting up the dinner line, “Earnie, don’t you think these people that come back each week are just lazy? They just don’t seem to want to take the step of receiving the help Jesus/God has for them.” I reminded her of what I had told the church about my background and reason for wanting to start this ministry a year or so ago. She said she remembered and felt sorry that I had to go through my divorce. She didn’t even connect from what I’d said to the depth of struggle I expressed from my childhood abuse. I don’t think I’d mentioned my divorce, but she knew about it. I restated this part to her so she’d better understand why I was working with CR. When I finished saying this I asked her if she thought I was a lazy person for being here each week? She then said, “Oh my, I will never believe such a lie again. Thanks for making this struggle very clear to me.” She continued to cook for us for many years and never with judgment, just love and support.

Lots of people want to support others. Knowing how to do this without judgment is a key piece. We never stop growing in our understanding of the immensity of God’s love and grace. He wants our support to reflect His support.