Today’s journey has me rooted into something I’ve read over and over in scripture, but have not “heard” it until this morning. Luke 6:27&28 tells us we are to not only forgive our enemy (those who hurt and try to destroy us) but we are to also bless them. This morning God has begun to help me recognize my need to bless my father, brother and mom. I am not sure how I do this when all of them are gone, but I am ready to learn. What I do know is that what I say about them no longer condemns them, but it blesses their memories. I want to learn more about this, but this is my next step in my journey.

If man were to define what is on the plate for today he would say to get rid of half that is on it. However, each item has its importance and I know that God has prepared today, not man. I am walking into it “trusting all the while”.

The school I’ll be working with today has some major, immediate decisions to make. I’m not sure they are aware of this need, but by the end of today I pray they not only see the need but are open and ready to make changes. I am trusting that today will be one where LIGHT penetrates and opens minds and hearts to see what hasn’t been seen as of yet.

Tonight has its own importance also. Kathy and I have been meeting for a couple weeks with a younger couple whose marriage is severely struggling. The gentleman called me yesterday while I was driving to the district where I was spending the day. I could hardly believe all that he was telling me which took place over the weekend. Huge steps were taken. God is so amazing when we quit trying to do things our way and let Him Lead through our obedience to His Holy Spirit.

I go into today hopeful and trusting. God’s Light is already shining and I pray a door opens today allowing His Light to penetrate into what has been darkness.

The topic of shame and its toxicity is looming in the faces of each member of our class of men in Mending the Soul. Three years ago when I went through this for the first time I could hardly handle completing each part of the lesson while I led it. And, that was after all of my counseling and therapy. Now I am watching and listening to six more men tackle this topic. One member said he felt no shame because he doesn’t feel emotions. I rearranged the question asking if the reason he never talked about his abuse was due to his being ashamed? To this he acknowledged its truth. When he realized the root of something he was ashamed of was shame, he began to understand and to allow the beginning of this ugliness to surface.

The walls of protection our bodies do as a child when abuse takes place are not easily broken down as adults. However, this is what God is doing for each one of us as we work our way slowly through this process. Awakening must take place before healing can even start. I had wanted my healing to be the absence of any memory of my past. However, today I realize that God’s healing was quite the opposite. Instead of removing the memory, He creates the desire to use them as devices to help others put a crack in their own steel doors which have locked away their trauma. The Light of God’s Presence in this darkness is such a new experience that one feels naked and very vulnerable–a very uncomfortable place for a man to be in.

It is humbling and rewarding to watch God work and to be a part of this work. Our God is so AMAZING!

The message of YES still continues into today. And, as I write this I realize that from this day forward God is wanting me to know that to serve Him fully my response to His Holy Spirit’s nudges is to always be YES. I would imagine that each follower of Jesus Christ has come to this point in their walk where this reality hits. It is never going to be OK to question what I know the Holy Spirit is asking of me. As I begin to read the book of Luke, I read several times in just the first chapter where The Holy Spirit “came upon”, “spoke with” the characters in the chapter. In each case it was in response to their obedience. I know that God is nudging me to take heed to this message. So, this morning I wrote in my journal that I want to be God’s YES man.

What a wonderful God we get to serve. He takes us into places where we never thought we would be and with our YES to His Holy Spirit we find satisfaction we never knew was possible. WOW! God is so Good!

This YES lesson from Thursday night is not leaving. Yesterday morning I wrote about it and today the topic still is in the forefront of my mind as I stepped into my devotional time. I began to journal that it seems my life is too filled with commitments. However, as I began to write this I was struck with the reminder that everything I’m committed to right now had a conversation with God before I said Yes. With that, I used the 3-R’s I’ve written about. I recognized that Satan was trying to undermine what God is wanting me to do, I rejected it and then replaced those thoughts with the truth–I am committed to do whatever God leads me to do and I will say YES to it.

To add to this, the Bible reading this morning was the last two chapters of Mark, 15 & 16. Jesus’ commission to His disciples was, “Go into all the world and preach and publish openly the good news to every creature.” Mark 16:15. The last verse of ch. 16 says, “And they went out and preached everywhere, while the Lord kept working with them and confirming the message by the attesting signs and miracles that closely accompanied. Amen.” This verse truly hit me. Joyce Meyers writes a life point to this verse which says in part, “…believe God for miraculous breakthroughs to follow the things you do to serve Him. Jesus heals us everywhere we hurt. When we are about His business, we can expect signs and wonders to follow us.”

God has been awakening in me the truth of these verses and that they are true for me. I use to believe this was all true because my Grandma Wretling said so. However, today, I know it is true because God’s Words says so.

The lesson for our Celebrate Recovery last night was YES. It is lesson 24. There is only one more lesson before we start our new year in mid-September. As we went into our small groups to discuss what the lesson spoke to us, the processing question was asking what we were willing to say yes to with God? There were 11 men in the group. As I looked around the room there were many hurts, hang-ups and habits represented. Yet, each one had something to say about what they were willing to say yes to.

One of the things God has been challenging me to do is believe when the other just can’t find a foothold for believing at the time. I know this has been done for me when I couldn’t believe and now God is placing it on my heart. It breaks my heart at times to know their stories and I want to lift their hands and eyes to Jesus and say that He will and is helping. Sometimes we just can’t see it. When I was in this state I needed others to believe for me. Now, it is my turn.

I think one of the best lessons I’ve found in this journey is the relationship with Jesus, God and The Holy Spirit. The longer I stayed on the journey of recovery, the more I began to understand and trust. Jesus keeps reminding me to look up and see Him as I listen to each man’s story. In so doing I see His head nodding and I hear–Trust Me. This I will do until they find their own foothold with Jesus.

Today I go to my last new school for this year to get started with them. I met the staff a week ago but today I will go and meet each one in their classrooms as kids started back yesterday. I look forward to getting rooted in this school.

As I was busily working in my yard yesterday taking advantage of being home, I received a text message from my prayer warrior. She was telling me to read a passage in my bible as a promise for our Celebrate Recovery folks. It is an excerpt Joyce Meyers has written regarding Rahab. Remember that Rahab was a prostitute at the time the children of Israel were approaching Jericho in the book of Joshua. The excerpt says in part: “…No matter how bad your past is, always know that God has a new beginning for you. Like Rahab, you may have a past, but you also have a future. You can get past your past!”

Last night Kathy and I met with the couple facing divorce. We started meeting with them only a week ago. Even though we were somewhat at a loss for knowing what to do when they came, we had thought we’d use whatever time to check for progress or lack thereof. In so doing, plant seeds for growth and nurture any growth during the week. It turned out they liked the idea and so we will continue this process each week for a period of time. As I read my prayer warriors’ message this morning I thought of this couple–you can get past your past! They are not convinced of this as of yet, but I know God is convinced of it as He is the One who will get them past their past if they will continue to open their hearts and mind to Him. God is the Faithful Healer of all wounds and all pasts!

Today I get to stay home and I’m so very glad. But, before I get started on my own to do list, I want to write down some things God is putting before me on today’s journey. First, when I got up and started my devotions I recalled I hadn’t listened to my daughter’s sermon from last Sunday. She preached at her church in Oklahoma City. I thought I could listen to it while I had my own devotions–I won’t do this again. I don’t think I appreciated either as much as I should have. I am not one who can do two things at the same time and keep focused on both.

Yesterday’s message in scripture about Faith was challenged today with Trust. Trust was the big point in my daughter’s sermon and it is the focus of today’s devotion. It also tied directly into a conversation I had last night with a young man who came to talk with me. His wife had him served with divorce papers and he needed to talk. This was not our first talk as he knew these papers were likely coming any day. He desperately wants to have his marriage work and “this time” he is putting his all into it. I’ve asked him if he would put this much effort into this if it were only for himself? He thought and responded that he would. I then reminded him to put this answer somewhere so he could see it often. Jesus doesn’t want to change us for someone else. He makes us a new creation first and foremost for Him and our relationship with Him.

Having Faith in God and having Trust that this Faith will hold true in any test is no easy thing. However, right now, I am anchoring into the Faith God Himself has. I can fully Trust Him and I will do this for this young man. I don’t know about the marriage, but I do know God is changing this young man into His created image. God is Amazing and one can see it so much more clearly when I get my own selfish thinking out of the way.

In Mark 11:22 Jesus is telling the disciples to “have Faith in God.” He goes on to tell them that a mountain can be cast into the sea if they believe and not doubt. I’ve always thought this was a wonderful passage, but…. How does anyone believe without any doubt? I can’t think of a time when I have had this strong of faith.

Joyce Meyers will write sometimes at points like this regarding her own life experiences. She put a “life point” comment regarding this passage. She says, “Notice in Mark 11:22 that the first thing Jesus tells us to do is to have faith in God constantly. …There was a time in my life when I had my faith in my faith. I relied on my ability to believe God rather than relying on God Himself….” This note she wrote awoke me to a fact I’ve needed. I have always measured my faith by “my faith”. The thought of measuring faith in God’s dimensions had never crossed my mind. Now that I realize my faith is to be in God’s Faith I can easily see that there is no limit to it. This makes “all things possible” (another promise I’ve struggled knowing how to believe).

I don’t know about you, but this truth absolutely sets my mind free. I have no reason to doubt for when I do I can easily see that doubt has its eyes on me rather than on the One True God I serve. Oh my word—How I love being awakened!

Yesterday was quite a day. In our class–Mending the Soul, we were addressing the first part of the chapter entitled Shame. One of the men said this chapter made him sick because it is simply too true regarding his life. I have always said that dealing with my own shame has been the most difficult part of facing my own past abuse. My dad’s attack on my personal makeup and personality only fed the lies I had about myself being used by a gay brother. I was amazed to hear these men being so open to their own shame and its ownership of them. The chapter does a thorough job getting each participant to face and address this is their life.

The other thing about yesterday’s class which has been amazing me is that by this time in a Step Study for Celebrate Recovery, a few of the men have dropped out. The topics are too difficult and they are not ready to face them. However, in this particular class of men, no one is dropping out. Instead, they are coming early and talking ahead of class about what is taking place in their lives, the difficulty of the curriculum, but how much it is clarifying what they’ve not wanted to address and mostly, didn’t know how to address in their lives so they simply kept stuffing it. I am so grateful to see this taking place. God has helped these men be ready for this time of healing and it is a real honor to weekly experience the growth. How patient and merciful our God is!