The book of John has always been called the one book in the Bible that emphasizes Christ’s love.  I’ve been told to start reading the Bible with this book as it best describes Christ and God and The Holy Spirit.  I’ve told this to many people over my life span too.  As I’m reading this book of present I find myself reaping a new awakening about Christ’s love for us (me) and also His new command He gives us when He tells the disciples in John 13:34, “I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another.  Just as I have loved you so you too should love one another.”

All my life I’ve been a doer.  It is easy for me to show love for someone by doing for them.  God, on the other hand, has been holding fast to the discipline of learning to “be”–be who I created you to be.  Don’t try to hide who I made you to be by doing things, take all the time necessary to learn to love who I made you to be so you can love others by “being” the very person I created you to be. 

As I’m reading John I am checked.  First God is showing me that a new creation He has made in me is to “believe”.  Now He is showing me that I’m to “be”.  I am to believe who He created me to be. I am not to believe He created me to do.  When I asked this morning what God wanted me to know for today I got this simple message.  It was to be still and not try to know the outcome for the day.  Just be still and be what I am as I go through the day with my family.  I can hardly wrap my mind around this thought but I am going to do my best in today’s journey to simply “be”. 

I can only be amazed at God our Father.  His Word to us in the Bible is alive just as John tells in the beginning of his book.  This morning in my reading I came across the word chafed.  It was connected to Lazarus dying.  Lazarus was sick and his sisters Mary and Martha had sent word to Jesus that his dear friend was ill knowing Jesus could heal this sickness.  Instead, Jesus waited two days before coming.  When he did come Martha first greeted him and then told Mary Christ had arrived.  When Mary came to him several mourners came with her.  All of them were wailing over the loss of this loved one named Lazarus.  The scripture read that Jesus’ spirit was chafed.  It was then that the scripture says, “Jesus wept.”

I knew the word chafed but it seemed out of context being used here.  When I looked it up the meaning was:  being rubbed raw.  It was Jesus spirit that had been rubbed raw by the emotional out crying of love and support for Mary & Martha and the loss of their brother.  In this Jesus wept.  I’ve known for years that Jesus wept for this.  It was today however that God showed me Jesus didn’t just weep over this one close friend.  Christ has wept over and over as His spirit has been chafed by the gross hurt of sin and death His children suffer.  It is for this very reason God sent His Son to die and rise again so that our death would not be the end–however, it would be the beginning of life eternal with God our Father, His Son Jesus and His Holy Spirit who already dwells within us. 

I’m so touched by this amazing love God has for us (me)!  I want only for this new creation I am to believe each and every day and to act on each and every nudge God gives me. 

BELIEVE–In the two chapters of John for this morning’s Bible reading, chapters 8 & 9, I continuously found the word believe.  Each time the word was being used it was connected to a miracle that took place.  Each time the miracle took place there were those who chose not to believe.  Jesus even told the blind man that he had come to judge the world and to separate the believers from the unbelievers.  Times are different for today as far as the culture of our nation goes, but what is still the same is the opportunity to believe what we know about Jesus Christ.  If we believe exactly what the Bible says, “He is the Savior of the world,” we will be saved.  If we choose to not believe this, we remain in the darkness He continues to identify in the Word. 

I have been a believer “in part” my entire life, starting at a young age.  But I have never until of late been a believe “in whole”.  I find myself being challenged as I read God’s Word these days to trust so many things around me which seem impossible.  God assures me they are impossible in the hands of man, however, He is God, not man, and nothing is impossible with Him.  Even as I write this I think of things which at the moment I need to release to Him for if I continue to dwell on them I will get discouraged.  I only see them through the lens of man’s work.  As I do release them into God’s Hands I see HOPE rising within.  I truly want to grow this discipline within me or better said, let God grow this discipline in me as I release my grip on things I cannot control. 

God is Amazing and He continues to be the Miracle Worker as I (each of us) surrender what we cannot control over to Him. 

Today the journey pauses to GIVE THANKS with a grateful heart to the King of kings and Lord of lords.  Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world and today I worship Him.  He is teaching me so much about BELIEVING.  As I read the book of John I keep finding more references to this remarkable word I’ve overlooked so much in my life.  I told myself this morning I want to make 2019 the year of BELIEVING.  I don’t want to any longer think “this can’t be done” or “this won’t work”, etc. as I see and work with others.  I want in all of life to BELIEVE and act on The Holy Spirit’s nudges throughout each and every day.  Join me if you will.  God’s Kingdom Work starts with BELIEVING just as Mary and Joseph believed when God’s Angel spoke to them so long ago.  Today we worship this very KING!

Today’s devotion was all about Mary believing what the angel of the Lord told her.  She did believe and all that the angel said came to life.  So much wasn’t told to Mary about her Son’s life, but she believed what was said to her and that was enough.  In a similar way Joseph believed.  Both Mary and Joseph believed and then they obeyed. 

Yesterday I wrote about the torment of sin.  As I got to church yesterday morning I had one of our Celebrate Recovery men talk to me ahead of the worship service.  He was being troubled by some big things in his past.  He has recently started into counseling but these big items haven’t been dealt with as of yet.  He was struggling to believe he can find freedom and he didn’t know what to do with these tormenting thoughts.  This caused me to step right into what I’d journaled yesterday and what I’d put in yesterday’s blog.  I know to surrender these thoughts but letting go of them while surrendering is the tough thing–impossible thing when believing isn’t present. 

As I was in the midst of my devotional time today I read what I put in the first paragraph above.  As I began my Bible reading in John 5, I find Jesus approaching the invalid at the pool where He asks him if he wants to be healed?  The invalid tells him he has no one to help him get into the pool as the water ripples.  Jesus told him to pick up his mat and walk.  He did just that too.  Right in the middle of this action is BELIEVE.  Jesus asked the man to get up and he did–he believed or he wouldn’t have acted on Jesus’ direction to him. 

Yesterday I said I know I need to surrender the thoughts which sometimes bombard my mind.  What I’ve learned today is that I am to BELIEVE ahead of surrendering.  If I try to surrender without believing I am still clinging unintentionally to the thoughts.  There is no handle on BELIEVING for which sin can attach.  When my belief is only the size of a mustard seed I can surrender and Satan flees for he cannot stay present in the presence of BELIEF.  BELIEVE is a spiritual action and surrender is a human action.  I know now to act on what is spiritual first–BELIEVE, then my human action can have the power Christ promises to give us in His Gift–The Holy Spirit. 

As my journey continues from freedom of being owned by my sins and those done to me, I find myself wanting to abandon all memories from my past so I can live the rest of my life having no connections to it.  Something I haven’t finished working through is when temptation arrives, what do I do when my past immediately floods before me?  When a temptation is sexual this is what happens.  I realize this is a work of Satan but what to do with it is still in the learning stage.  Now that I’m awake to this and know as much as I do, I need to write it.  This helps me own it rather than hide it.  It is a new phenomena too because I’ve not been at this point of recovery before.  I realize that as long as I’m a living human being I’ll have to deal with temptations.  I use to want to die so that I wouldn’t have to live with them any longer.  I know God wants me to live and I do too until my time comes.  I also know He wants me to learn that no sin is greater than His Power so in this I start by BELIEVING.  The right next steps will come.

Yesterday a good friend took one of my grandsons for the afternoon and helped him make 4 Christmas gifts for family members.  The friend is a retired vocational ed teacher and this grandson loves the use of tools so the time was fun for him and very productive.  This grandson doesn’t have a dad who connects with him so the event was even richer helping him know he is important to adult men.  God is so good putting people in our paths.  I love Him for this.   

The days are winding down for the year of 2018 and they are winding up for all the events centering around Christmas.  In two days my family will arrive in droves at our house and for a week we will have 19 in the house much of the time.  Wrapping presents for everyone and doing their stockings is my assignment for the present.  I kind of enjoy this part.  I also enjoy the chaos of the large group week as everyone groups up to do their things with cousins, siblings, etc. and Kathy and I do the same. 

Yesterday there was a funeral for a 21 year old girl from our church who was a beacon of light for God.  Her service was nothing but GLORIOUS.  Her parents insisted there be no mourning in the service as the service was to be a beautiful experience of their daughter’s life (as short as it was) and how Christ used her during this earthly time.  It was almost 2 hours of love and laughter.  Even my 21 year old grandson was present as they had worked together for Dutch Bros. before Dante moved away to take a different job.

If there is anything I’m learning of late it is that the spiritual man we will totally be upon death is overly influenced by this present human state we live in which is so steeped in the grip of sinfulness.  As parents and grandparents we need to help our kids and grandkids separate this out so they can learn to let the strength of our spiritual self (reliance upon God’s Strength) be that which we live by.  Stepping into problems with our kids and grandkids has to be done in a way that lets them own the problem and work through it with our support and help rather than to try and be their savior by removing them from the problem and fixing it yourself.  God wants me to know this and practice this and I think He wants me to pass this on so my own grandkids learn this process too.

The past two days I’ve been with two smaller school districts a hundred miles north of where I live.  Both districts are struggling communities with very little financial incentives to bolster them.  The first district on Wednesday was one where I noticed a spirit of connection and purpose on the part of the superintendent, principal and every staff member I interviewed and observed.  I marveled at this and we wrote this in our report for them.  Amazingly, 50 miles away, I saw the same thing yesterday in the second little community.  I doubt they know what they have in common, but to an outsider coming in for a day, it was very obvious.

This morning I finished reading the book of Luke in the New Testament.  Christ was crucified and arose 3 days later in this scripture.  He also appeared to a few people including the floundering disciples who were wondering what they were to now do?  In a moment Christ made a connection with them regarding all He had told them, and shown them to what they were now to do.  They were to now go do what Christ had done himself–do good work modeling love and purpose for living. 

As I was journaling this morning God made a connection for me I hadn’t made until now.  He said, “You see the purpose and connection the folks had in the last two days?  This is what I’ve been doing with you and with mankind throughout time.  Connections get rooted in people when the work done for and with them is done in a spirit of love and respect.  The staff of these two schools love their work, love their kids and deliver their education with a spirit connecting with the children’s spirits which inspires them to do their best.”  God went on to say that He has been waiting for me to see that He wants a connection with me that is bigger than obedience.  One can be obedient but also be resentful.  When the spirit of man is connected to the Spirit of God, resentment dies and is replaced with a desire to serve the Master well. 

Now I see what God is wanting from us (from me).  He wants the connection of His Holy Spirit with mine so my spirit will be inspired to serve Him out of love, respect and admiration.  In so doing the connection between us grows to depths I’ve never thought possible.  Wow, we serve a Magnificent God!

God is truly amazing all the time.   I start with these words this morning because He’s already been working in an issue that was going to come to head tonight at Celebrate Recovery.  However, it is being taken care of right now.  I just finished a phone call with a person who is tackling it now so the need can be addressed ahead of time.  I love how God works!  I won’t go into the details of it but it is amazing.

This morning, early, I was starting to worry about the issue in the recovery classes leadership.  God had already told me to trust Him but I was starting to lose that focus.  In my devotional reading and in my Bible reading Jesus was telling His disciples how Satan had wanted to “sift them like sand”.  I’m sure he is wishing to do the same with all of our leaders.  However, I need to trust the only One who is able to stand up to Him and then let Christ do exactly what He says He will do.  So, I confessed my weakness and am now ready to step into this day “trusting all the while.”

Yesterday I wrote about believing and trusting that God will take care of the details of the day.  Well, it was as though I was to simply hang on and do the recording of God’s working for He was bringing many details out into the open so His Work in the day could be done. 

As I got to the school district yesterday I began a list of items needing accomplished for the day in order to get the budget work ready for our meeting at 2:00 pm.  I needed to call a center in San Francisco which is one of the finest research centers for education in the fields of Reading and Math.  Before I had ever retired I spent almost a decade attending their annual conferences and sending people to their trainings on instruction and coaching.  As I called their directory to see who I needed to talk to one of the names was the founder/president of the center.  I hit that number and left a message.  Five minutes later she called me.  I could hardly believe it!  We spent 30+ minutes talking through the district’s needs and I recorded her guidance.  She is a reading expert.  Within a couple of hours I received a call from her math coordinator.  Our meeting at 2:00 was so much more organized having had all the right information.

As the day moved on I received a call from our pastor regarding the issue of our recovery classes and the leadership for the one.  I then called the company that created the curriculum we use and just as God does, I talked to the right person right off the bat.  He gave excellent guidance which I was then able to share with our pastor. 

Not every day is like yesterday.  However, this morning God seemed to be pointing out that when I am following His Lead, His Spirit within me and within the Work He is Leading will be done in His timeline.  I can trust that and believe that each day, regardless of man’s involvement, will be one of His Work.  He is just as He says–An Amazing GOD!