One of the toughest things for me has been going to share group after telling my story. If you are unfamiliar with this process, in Celebrate Recovery, everyone meets in large group first. This is where I told my story. Afterwards we break into small groups which are gender specific to process the lesson or the testimony’s impact on you. So, last night the small group topic was my story’s impact on the men in our group. I’ve always had a very difficult time receiving compliments, but last night, it wasn’t as though I were receiving compliments. I was listening and watching how God was using His Work in my life to impact others in their own struggles. One man who has only come twice simply wept when it was his turn. He passed and later in the hour told his part. But, what was so kind to hear was the message from one of our leaders. He is the man who has replaced me as the ministry lead. He said, “This is the first time I’ve heard your story given from the freedom side. Your past doesn’t seem to have you in bondage any more. Forgiveness is evident.” I had no idea what my story sounded like before, but I can say that the one telling the story this time believes without doubt that he is a new creation–Praise God!

The journey does continues and tomorrow morning I’ll give my story in a different context with the men at the church breakfast. I pray for the one/s who need to know their secret bondage has a freedom awaiting for them!

Today is the testimony day for me for our Celebrate Recovery group. There is a song our quartet sings called: He Didn’t Throw the Clay Away. If you want to listen to it you can YouTube it. It has a powerful message for one like me. I’ve added the YouTube video of the song to my testimony for tonight. It tells so well how God is always working to help us know and be the new creation He had always intended for us. I love its way of sharing the message through music. I have a very difficult time singing through it without breaking down, but that’s only because it is so real for me.

God is continuously at work in our lives to help us work through barriers which hold us back. In addition to this, He is faithfully using our lives as a testimony for others who are struggling through their own. He is also, most importantly, using our story to give hope for those who think they are hopeless–how much I relate to this. But, today, it is my past that relates to this. The hope I had for my past, God has made real in my present! How much I PRAISE HIM for His patient, loving, steadfast help!

The beauty of spring is all around us. Flowering trees, daffodils and tulips are blooming everywhere along with the blooming shrubs. I love seeing all of this and tending to my own. Today is one of those days when I get to spend most of it in the yard.

The days of this week are ticking away as I get closer to tomorrow’s testimony for our Celebrate Recovery group. Saturday I do the interview supporting Mending the Soul which will be another testimony time. Sunday I will start the new Mending the Soul class. After the class we will have our CR leadership monthly meeting where another lady and I will do the training portion. All of this has been heavily on my mind and Satan does all he can to disrupt. However, the verses like I mentioned in yesterday’s post are ones I can use to remind him who I now know I am. My prayer warrior had prayed last summer that I would find self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence. Today I have much more confidence than I ever have known. In years past confidence meant being “cocky”–(another one of dad’s terms). The confidence I know is the assurance that what I am doing is wholly within God’s leading and God’s plan for me. I love serving Him.

The details of yesterday came together as though God were in charge! I write this because as I had written yesterday, I started to stress about all the details needing to be handled. There were several I hadn’t mentioned. They were ones to help others who had asked for assistance. In each case, they were addressed and completed in just a few minutes. God is truly a detailed God. We know that by the intricacies of all His creation and the precision in which all of it works together. I’m always amazed when I finally remember to let God handle the details and I simply do my part. He never fails.

I have three scriptures I’ve put on cards which I read each morning when I kneel to pray. One of these had a message I hadn’t been seeing until this morning. The scripture is Psalms 68:28 which reads: “Your God has commanded your strength. (Your might in His service is impenetrable hardness to temptation); Oh God display Your Might and Strengthen what You have wrought for us!” Amplified Bible. I was stricken earlier this year when I read this verse with the phrase that God’s Might is impenetrable hardness to temptation. I’ve never felt as though I had this kind of strength to battle temptations. I had to fight it with sheer will power and often failed trying to make this real. However, this verse doesn’t lie and God’s Word is POWER. So, I’ve been reading it daily claiming this Power for me. What stood out this morning for the first time were the three words–“in His service”. God’s Might while we are in His service is impenetrable hardness to temptation. I have battled so much temptation of late with all that has been coming together and today God opened my eyes to these three words–in His service. I know beyond any shadow of doubt that what is taking place is God’s service. I’ve feared the temptations in these times but reading this all together opened my eyes to a confidence I’ve not known, instead, it has been a hope. This morning I prayed in confidence rather than in fearful hope.

God’s Word is POWER and it is LIGHT. My mind saw LIGHT this morning which gave confidence rather than fear. How I love our God!

The Easter service was such a joyous experience yesterday. It was powerful and so heartwarming to be part of it.

As I was beginning my journaling for today I started to express to Jesus the amount of things to get done this week. Giving my testimony Thursday, the testimony/interview Saturday at the men’s breakfast, starting the Mending the Soul class next Sunday, training for our Celebrate Recovery leadership also next Sunday and then there’s the schools to go to and so on…. As I was starting to write this in my journal Jesus reminded me of the line in the Serenity Prayer–“one day at a time, one moment at a time….” He went on to say that this is the beginning of Trust. Stress is an absence of trust if I choose to stress rather than trust that it will all come together each at the right time. That’s all I needed to hear. With that I could let all these details go knowing I am the one who needs to follow through, but Jesus is the One I’m doing all of this for and He will take care of these details for which I was going to stress.

Yesterday morning I had arrived early for worship team and choir practice ahead of the service. When the practice was done I had about 15 minutes until the service would begin. I was looking over the bulletin when a hand was placed on my shoulder. As I looked, it was the lady who had text me Saturday afternoon about what she’d said to her daughter. She thanked me again for the advice and for the words to use. As we spoke a few minutes I was nudged to talk about the fact that homosexuality is a sin, but not the unpardonable sin. Also, struggling with homosexuality doesn’t make one a sinner. We all struggle with sinful nature. Stepping into the nature of the sin is sinning. This reminder was nice for the mom to hear and to know that her daughter’s struggle doesn’t automatically make her a sinner.

I believe God is wanting us to awaken and be reminded that His Son Jesus will judge. He has pointed out that we sin if we step into this role. Yes, we are to discern and be wise, but judging is not part of this. This is a genuine area of growth I and others need to stay close to.

HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!! I can only partially appreciate the magnitude of celebration for the Christ followers to find that early this morning He was no longer in the tomb! To go from deep mourning to triumphant celebration in one statement is inconceivable for man’s emotions. Just pondering this, I know I’d be asking, “What, What did you just say? Get out of my way, I’ve got to go check this out for myself–something isn’t right here.” At this point I’m sure they still didn’t know what we know today. He being out of the tomb only meant his body wasn’t there–but where was he? All of this is no longer a question for us. We know beyond a shadow of doubt where Christ was and what He had done. How much I praise HIM!

Each day of late has had its moments of addressing deep issues. The young man I met with yesterday morning revealed a good deal of hurt which he only stepped into for a moment. He talked about the “addiction” but he only mentioned a “hurt” behind it. My prayer is that he will get there and will come to the class we are starting a week from today. While I was at the funeral I had received a text message which I didn’t open until afterwards. A lady whose daughter is part of the gay society was asking if she’d done the right thing in telling her daughter what scripture said about her recent marriage to her partner? The mom’s actions had caused the daughter to not participate in her brother’s 25th wedding anniversary celebration. She said she had reminded her daughter that she loved her. I simply said that there are different ways to express ourselves in these cases. Her daughter already knows what scripture says about her choices. This daughter is nearing 50 years old and mom is in her 80’s. I won’t tell all that was said, but the last text message from the mom said that she had apologized to her daughter for acting like she was still a child. She would leave for her and God to work these other items out. She just wanted her daughter to know she loved her. Her daughter had responded telling her thank you for her explanation.

Easter is a celebration and a time for rejoicing! But, right beyond the celebration is an immense amount of work Christ is doing along with His Triune Team–God the Father and The Holy Spirit. This world is hurting from the effects of the sin Christ conquered. He wants us to join Him in helping those He prods us to come along side.

Later this morning I will be meeting with the young man whose mom use to work for me. He will be coming to my home which will allow us to talk openly without any fear of intrusion. I’ve prayed over this meeting and invited Jesus to be the Lead and His Holy Spirit to open our hearts and minds so we can share all which needs to be put on the table for rich confession and for healing to begin. It seems honoring to be having this conversation on the very day we celebrate when Jesus was entering the depths of hell and leaving our sins there to never be remembered again. How glorious this work Jesus did that day for us is!

At 1:00 pm today I am attending the celebration of life service for a lady who volunteered at my school for over 20 years. Her claim to fame was popping popcorn every Friday for all of these years. She was “Mama Popper” while her kids were at the site and then became “Grandma Popper” as her grandchildren began to attend. Her obituary gave her name and in parenthesis’s was “Grandma Popper”. She was definitely a faithful volunteer, but more than that, she was a spirit of love and giving which was seen every week as she did her work and loving embraced hundreds of children who needed a “grandma’s hug”. She stands out in my mind as one of God’s finest!

Already this morning my mind keeps wanting to go to a couple of items needing some work. However, just as soon as the thought comes it is checked with the need to set it aside so I can simply reflect on the immensity of Christ’s Work which wasn’t visible to man yet, but was taking place nonetheless on this day of remembrance. Man was mourning, Christ was conquering. Tomorrow we will truly Celebrate it but for today, I will grieve with thanksgiving in my heart for I was included in the work Christ was doing. I already know the outcome for tomorrow! Praise the Lord!

Good Friday! As I began to journal this morning with the reminder that this day our Jesus took our sins to the cross–all of them–past, present and future; I couldn’t write for a moment. I began to let my mind reflect on this truth. The Spirit then reminded me that Christ’s work had an Eternal–Spiritual purpose. It tied back to the creation of man and it goes into the future until He comes again. For me, it allows me to have the assurance that my sins–done to me and those I’ve committed–are there–at the Cross, buried once and for all. And with this truth is another truth–He paved the way for me to be the new creation His Father–God Almighty–had intended from the beginning of man. All I had to do was to choose Him as my Savior and then I was also able to choose Him as my Lord. Lastly, I could choose to bring all the lies Satan had tried so diligently to use to keep me in bondage–to Christ–THE GREAT HEALER! This then allows Christ to replace the lies with the truth of His Word. In John 3:3 it says, “…Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” I am born again and in so being, Christ has made me a new creation.

Last night I met with two newcomers to Celebrate Recovery. Each of them had come for different reasons, but both had come to find overcoming help. Both had been told, “this was the place you can find the help needed.” The day can come for each of them to have their own mess become a message of healing and overcoming. This is only true because of what Christ did so long ago for each one of us. What an amazing God we get to serve!

Today is a day I’ve been looking forward to its arrival and not because it is April Fool’s Day! A couple of days ago I wrote about advertising the class: Mending the Soul I will be starting for men who have experienced the damage of abuse whether childhood or adulthood. Today I will be meeting with the pastor who is in charge of the men’s breakfast on April 10 when the advertising will take place. He will interview me and we will talk through the questions that will be asked, etc. It just doesn’t matter how many times I’ve done this or similar to this, I still get these knots in my stomach and a strong sense I need to RUN! With that said, I will not.

This morning as I was journaling about today and asking Christ what He wanted me to know for this day, He said He wanted me to think about abuse as a cancer. When the effects of the abuse are left in secret they fester and grow into things like: anger, acting out, isolation, quick tempered, silence or the opposite–yelling, etc. These actions will crop up at unexpected times and one will wonder why? When cancer is left in secret the effects grow into effects which will take one’s life. Abuse takes one’s emotional life and kills its health just as cancer does to one’s physical life. Healing comes to either of these when we expose them. This is the purpose of this class and what I’ve learned from my own telling. Sharing my story continues to bring health to my soul and spirit, especially when one gets to see the effects of healing for others from the sharing.

The journey does continue and with the continuance comes continued growth and healing.